DC/Marvel: This Guy is Insane

"Alan, long time no see." The pink symbiote retracted from her face, revealing Carter's familiar features.

"I do not agree with your marriage." Suddenly, Alan frowned and said with a grave tone, "Symbiotes reproduce asexually. You are all parasitized by symbiotes. This is an incestuous relationship. It is forbidden. Absolutely forbidden."

Symbiote parasitism was a concept entirely different from blood relations, which made Steve and Carter roll their eyes. Besides, they already had grandchildren now; what else could he do?

"I have never tried an illicit relationship. It's too… exciting." Alan's angry expression gradually turned to one of jealousy. Wow, this is where the real anger comes from. What a jerk.

"Hang up. We have things to do." The screen went black.

The existence of Arkham Fortress now made perfect sense. Steve had been operating in the quantum field in advance, so he must have mastered a great deal of high-tech and absorbed talents from across the multiverse. It would have been easy for him to build a fortress base with an extremely high technological content.

At this time, Alan looked at Edward and Cobblepot with an expression that was both distorted and mean. "Hehehe…" Hearing the penetrating shriek, the two of them felt something was wrong. He's coming towards us.

Alan put his hand on Edward's shoulder and said sinisterly, "You heard something you shouldn't have heard. How should I deal with you? Hehehe…"

"I didn't hear it. I'm actually deaf," Edward shook his head frantically.

"I'm a penguin. How can I understand what humans say?" Cobblepot looked at the tip of his nose, pretending to be a dull penguin.

"This is making it very difficult for me," Alan called out. "Unita, is there a device that can make a person's body disappear without a trace?"

"Reporting to the commander, there is a degrading liquid in the warehouse area that can even corrode steel," Unita said with a synthesized smile.

Electronic… so vicious.

Alan nodded in satisfaction and said, "Not bad, not bad. I won't allow anyone to threaten Steve, so please, go to die." The news that Steve was conquering the multiverse was too explosive and would inevitably pose a danger to the current Captain America. If the enemies of the multiverse knew that Steve was a symbiote illusion, the next day, the sky would be filled with alien warships coming to kill Captain America Steve in order to prevent the birth of the illusion.

"Alan!" Edward hugged his thighs and said shamelessly, "The first time I lost to you, I was deeply impressed by your personality and charm. In fact, I have always wanted to be your lackey, but I was too inferior and afraid of being rejected by you. Now that I am about to die, I can only speak my true feelings." At the same time, Edward kept winking at Cobblepot, who immediately understood what he meant. He hugged Alan's other leg and said, "Last time in the warehouse, your stunning appearance and unparalleled wisdom made me want to surrender. Please accept my deepest respect for you."

"I'm not as good as you say." Alan's cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and he said confidently, "Wisdom is secondary. As for my appearance, I am somewhat self-aware."

"Do you know why I don't urinate during the day and either hold it until night or pee in my trouser pocket?" Alan asked, baring his teeth.

"Why?" Edward asked cooperatively.

"I'm afraid I'll pass out if I look at myself while I'm doing it."

"…"

How can you say such things? Do you have any shame? Of course, he couldn't say what was in his heart, so Cobblepot flattered him. "Boss, you are truly a genius. You solved such a difficult problem so perfectly. If it were me, I would just cover my face with a garbage bag."

"You're still lacking in intelligence. You can't always carry a garbage bag with you when you go out. The correct way is to put your underwear on your head," Alan smiled mysteriously and said proudly, "But I don't wear underwear."

"…"

So the question remained: how could Alan's habit of hiding things in the crack of his buttocks avoid any hygiene problems? The answer was that he was wearing the pants of a hospital gown. In order to prevent others from noticing that he was hiding something, he had put on an extra pair of pants to cover it up.

"Since you admire me so much, I will reluctantly accept you as my younger brothers." Alan pulled a black marker from his armpit.

"Boss, what are you doing?" Edward asked nervously.

"Just a little makeup. Don't worry about it."

Soon, Alan had painted black domino masks on their eye sockets and said with great satisfaction, "From now on, you are Riddle Robin and Penguin Robin, my Comedic Bat's right and left hands." The Riddler and the Penguin looked at each other aggrievedly, then chuckled at each other's appearance. Their colleagues would definitely laugh at them for the rest of their lives if they saw this. So embarrassing.

"Penguin Robin, I have high expectations for you. I will formulate a plan for you to run for president. Riddle Robin, you will be my deputy. When the time comes, we will control America in one fell swoop and make the world prostrate at our feet." Alan spoke with great emotion, clenching the five fingers of his left hand, like a supervillain envisioning an evil plan.

Boss, we don't want this. Please don't do this. They were having a hard enough time surviving in Gotham and had never thought of bringing disaster to the entire country. Batman alone was difficult enough to deal with, let alone the many other superheroes out there. If an anti-hero showed up, they would really kill people.

"Two Robins are not enough. There are always three Laughing Bats. I need to find another one." Alan's thoughts raced as he asked, "Where is Arthur?"

"He's in Blackgate Prison," Cobblepot replied. The last time Bruce had invested in upgrading the security of Blackgate Prison, Arthur Fleck had been temporarily placed in Arkham Asylum. Now, he had been transferred back to a special prison cell.

The moon hung alone in the sky. It was a rare clear night in Gotham, where you could actually see the moon. Usually, the city had a bit of a British, dark style, either cloudy or rainy, which gave people a very depressing feeling. Because of this, it was no wonder that criminals appeared so frequently. The city was sick, and its citizens were going crazy.

"Hehehe… wuwuwu…"

Arthur looked at the iron bars, sometimes crying, sometimes laughing wildly. He kept scratching the scabs on his head with his hands, refusing to stop until his flesh and blood were blurred. "I'm going to kill you, kill you…" Arthur roared angrily, his mind full of thoughts about how to kill Alan. His hatred for him far exceeded that for Bruce. Once upon a time, he had been the king of Gotham's underground, and every time he had appeared in public, he had been a respectable man in a suit and tie. Now, with a head of burnt scabs and a few sparse green hairs, it looked particularly ironic.

"Are you going to kill me?" Alan hung upside down in front of the iron window, looking at Arthur, who was in a state of mental breakdown.

"I'm going to kill you!" Arthur jumped up and tried to hook his hands outside the iron window, but the window was more than three meters high and was out of his reach.

Alan cut through the iron bars and jumped into the cell with a nimble leap. "The deeper you hate someone, the deeper you love him." Alan knocked the Joker down with one punch while also providing physical and spiritual counseling.

"You are not feeling hate, but twisted love."

"In Gotham City, everyone is a clown."

"They are clowns in their emotions, clowns in their lives, and clowns in their work."

"Now, the Owls and the vampires are going to kill all the clowns."

"Can you leave the clowns you love so much alone?"

"You can't. You are their beacon of faith. You are the king of clowns."

"And you're my Joker Robin."

***

(End of Chapter)

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