Endemic Love

The heat in his lower abdomen spread through every limb, raising his inner temperature. Le An took the last injection related to the experiment just as the warmth made his skin burn.

"When your heat is over, we'll continue with a slightly increased dose, the treasure," said the GAC doctor, almost too casually. He hesitated as he looked at Le An's flushed face. "Can you… stand up by yourself?"

Tiny beads of sweat slid down from Le An's neck, disappearing into his shirt. He shook his head weakly and gave a small smile. "No, I don't think so."

"Ah- I kept you too long, didn't I?" The doctor immediately stood up and leaned over him. "Wait, let me help you up."

Theo grabbed the doctor's shoulder before he could touch him. "There's no need for that," he said firmly. "I'll take him back to his room myself. You can leave."

"Ah, of course." The doctor pulled back his hands awkwardly, giving Le An a flustered smile. "Then I'll take my leave. R-rest well."

When the door shut behind him, Theo turned to Le An, who sat there, face bright red, staring at the door with a dazed look. Theo sat down next to him, annoyance bubbling up in his chest.

"He did everything he could to catch your scent," Theo muttered, recalling the doctor's unsettling behavior. He forced himself to calm the irritation in his chest. An alpha doing that out of pure instinct didn't make it any less disgusting. "After he took your blood sample, he turned around just to sniff the cotton he wiped your arm with. Filthy."

"Do I smell?" Le An asked suddenly, turning to Theo with wide eyes. He pressed his hand to his neck and then brought his fingers to his nose, sniffing them in panic. Theo's eyes caught on the small beads of sweat clinging to those long, delicate fingers. He swallowed.

"Do my pheromones really smell that much?"

"No," Theo said gently, smiling as he took Le An's damp hand and slowly lowered it from his neck. He could feel the soft moisture Le An's skin had left on his palm. "You're still holding it in just fine."

Le An's eyes drifted back to the door, his pupils slightly unfocused, dreamy. He doesn't even realize, Theo thought.

"He was acting weird… I thought I'd let out some pheromones without realizing," Le An murmured, visibly relieved.

Theo's smile returned, though there was bitterness behind it. He knew exactly why the doctor had behaved that way. Le An looked nothing like his usual self right now; his damp hair clung to his small face, his skin almost glowed, and his sharp features were tinted pink. Every detail was painfully alluring.

Of course, the doctor had noticed. The trembling hands holding the syringe, the way he'd tried to breathe in Le An's scent. Theo hated that others saw him like this. Hated it.

"It'll start tonight," Theo said quietly, meaning his heat.

Le An nodded slowly. "Will you help me up to my room, Theo?"

When Le An shifted to get up, he felt his mind clear a little, but the rush of blood made the uncomfortable symptoms flare. Theo carefully guided him to the bed in his pheromone room. By the time he laid him down, that itchy, crawling feeling under Le An's skin was growing stronger.

They were alone in the room now. "How do you feel?" Theo asked.

Le An knew exactly where this was going.

"I still don't feel all the symptoms… This is just pre-heat, I guess," he said. "But… if I'm exposed to any pheromones, it'll start." He cast a nervous glance at Theo.

"We're lucky no esper tried anything with you today," Theo said.

"Yes," Le An agreed. "And we're lucky my heat always comes right on time." They shared a small smile. A moment later, Theo shifted closer, watching him carefully.

"What do you want to do, Le An?"

Le An met his gaze, but memories of the lie Theo had told him about heat partners flickered in his mind. His trust wavered. He lowered his eyes. Theo felt his chest tighten painfully.

"I don't want any partner. Not on the first day. Not on the last day either," Le An said quietly. "I want to spend it alone… and I want you to promise me you'll never listen to what I say when I'm in heat."

So many omegas spent their heats alone, he wasn't any different. Le An felt Theo's eyes on him, full of silent refusal.

"But, Le An-"

"Even if I beg you, don't let anyone in, Theo." Le An's voice cut through the room, firm but pleading. Theo's throat tightened. "That pain… You'll endure all that pain alone?" he asked.

"Yes. It's better than enduring shame and guilt."

"We can talk to the GAC again about finding partners. If they found trustworthy people, you wouldn't have to bear it all alone."

"I don't want strangers in my bed, Theo. Many omegas spend their heats alone all the time. I'm no different."

"You are different!" Theo snapped, almost rising to his feet. "You can't use suppressants. Without them, you know there's a death risk, right?"

"Oh, come on… death risk? You're exaggerating, Theo."

"I'm not exaggerating," Theo said sharply. "You know better than anyone how late your secondary gender manifested, you don't have a body as resilient as a normal omega's. Eighteen is dangerously late."

"I know," Le An sighed, pushing a shaky breath through his teeth. "But that doesn't mean I'll die. You'll give me some pheromones and I'll get through a few days. That's all."

Theo fell silent. He wanted to argue, but Le An's weary expression stopped him. "We could find people who'd keep your secret…"

"GAC knows the more people who know, the harder it is to keep hidden. They'd want to know who I spent it with and then…" He looked around the room helplessly. "If I learned to endure pheromones, Theo, I can learn to endure my heat, too."

It's not the same, Theo wanted to say, but he bit his tongue. He stayed silent, but inside, he couldn't accept it; he would never accept Le An suffering. "Okay," he said softly. "Then if you're ready, I'll give you my pheromones to help it start."

"No," Le An whispered. "I want it to start naturally. There's no need for that anymore."

Theo's heart squeezed painfully. It almost felt like rejection. Le An always wanted his pheromones to trigger his heat, at least so he could feel some control over when it began. Now, it felt like he didn't want to rely on Theo at all.

"You know about that issue, I wanted to tell you the truth, Le An." Theo moved closer and took Le An's hand in both of his. "It wasn't long ago that I found out myself. I never wanted to keep it from you. I just wanted to protect you from more pain, for a while. It was for your own good."

Le An's hand was warm in his, his flushed cheeks full of tension. But he gave Theo a small, weary smile, his way of speaking his truth gently.

"Even if they wouldn't… d-die afterward… I never wanted to sleep with strangers, Theo. I never wanted you watching me while…" He let out a trembling sigh. "Let's not talk about this anymore."

"But it was a necessary decisi-"

"None of those decisions were made by me." Le An's voice rose, strained. He pulled his hands away and tried to stand, but he swayed. Theo reached for him instinctively, afraid he'd collapse.

The stern look on Le An's face was somehow heartbreakingly soft, too soft for any alpha to take seriously, Theo thought.