Endemic Love

"Sometimes I feel sick… sick of all of you making decisions for my own good. I feel…" Le An's breath came out in a shaky way. Theo's face blurred in his vision. Was he pale? Was he being too harsh to Theo now? His chest burned with a thousand buried frustrations.

"I feel sick of… all this. Sick of not being able to get angry with you because you're doing it all for me." He stopped, pressing a hand to his throbbing head. Getting up had drained him even more; he felt like he might collapse. He knew why Theo had kept it secret; he understood, of course he did. But that didn't make it less unbearable.

"I don't blame you, Theo. I'd n-never... You're the one I trust the most. Maybe, you're the only one I fully trust. But like those men in the GAC… hhng… if you do that to me too, hic-" A tiny hiccup escaped Le An's lips, and he realized he was about to cry.

Theo lunged forward and wrapped his arms around him, pressing him close. "Never. I'll never be like them, Le An. I'm sorry." He held the back of Le An's head, stroking his hair. Le An burned under his touch. "Please…"

"Hic… hng…" Le An pressed his hands to his eyes, trembling in Theo's arms as he sobbed. Everyone knew he'd always been emotionally unstable during his heat.

The truth was, Le An was like a stone wall, reserved, quiet, never too expressive. He'd wear a polite smile, always. But during his heat, everything locked up in his heart would spill out. He'd cry, snap, and complain. And this time, it wasn't just his heat, it was exactly the right reaction to a request like that. So he didn't feel wrong for once.

Omegas were supposed to be tender and emotional during heat, but Le An felt it all twice as much. Theo knew it was him who'd pushed him to tears. I made him cry, he thought, guilt clawing at his chest. Me? Like those men? How could I ever be like them?

When Le An looked up at him again -eyes teary, lashes wet- Theo's breath caught in his throat. He wanted to say a hundred things, beg for forgiveness. His fingers clenched around Le An's small shoulders. But begging would only frighten him; it would make him feel more guilt, more stress. That wasn't what Le An needed.

More than anything, Theo just wanted to prove he'd never lose his place in Le An's heart. He'd never waste even a scrap of the trust Le An had given him.

So he stayed like that, holding him tight, until Le An's soft hiccups finally quieted. He could feel the weight in his arms as Le An surrendered his weight to him, a small relief in itself.

Le An looked up again and whispered, "I trust you."

Theo stroked his back gently. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize anymore," Le An murmured, sniffling. He pressed his forehead to Theo's chest. "Then… after I sleep… come to my room and give me your pheromones."

As if forgiving him so easily, Le An was changing his mind again, accepting his pheromones once more.

"As you wish," Theo murmured back. He laid Le An down on the bed again, then quietly returned with a glass of water and a few pills.

"Heat stabilizer pills," he said softly, handing them to Le An. Half-conscious, Le An swallowed them without a word, fighting the sleep that was dragging him under. As his eyelids fluttered shut, he reached out and tugged at the hem of Theo's shirt. "Leave the door open for a while," he murmured, voice already slurred.

Theo blinked at the odd request. "Why?" he asked.

Le An's blurred eyes lingered on Theo's face for a moment too long, clouded with a distant thought. He pressed his lips together, as if searching for the right words. If Taras came at midnight… if he came at all… could he get into this room too? He didn't know.

"Just leave it open," Le An whispered again. "It's… stuffy inside."

Theo watched him silently and then smiled; to Le An, he looked so unaware of everything. "Alright," he said gently.

Le An finally closed his eyes.

Standing at the door he'd left ajar, Theo turned back for a last glance at the sleeping figure. If he'd forgiven me once, Theo thought, he could forgive me again. Again and again. That's how he is.

When the clock struck midnight, the shadow appeared inside Le An's room. Taras wandered around the room in his shadow form for a while, the bed was empty. So the treasure had dared not to be here at the guiding hour, right after yesterday? Bold of him, he thought.

However, the door of that small, windowless room, the one where Taras had found himself on the floor the other night, was slightly open. Taras shifted into his human form, and the closer he got, the more the scent confirmed his guess.

The faintest sound caught his ear: a soft hum drifting from the metal door. This omega… As Taras slowly inhaled the scent drifting out, he tilted his head, questioning. Did he leave the door open on purpose? For me?

Under the dim light, his eyes immediately caught the figure lying on the wrinkled sheets. The strong pheromone scent in the room wrapped around Taras as he slowly stepped inside.

It was a floral pheromone scent, like the essence of a flower that lures in every bee, every insect straight to its core.

Taras just stood there for a moment, watching. Le An wore a thin night robe, slipping down one shoulder. His forehead, collarbones, arms, and even his knees were flushed pink with fever. Compared to the last time Taras had seen him, his body looked even smaller to the eye.

He stepped closer; under the yellowish light, shadows played on Le An's skin and revealed the faint injection bruises on the insides of his arms. The heat radiating from this frail omega's body now met Taras's cool skin. He slowly placed his hand on Le An's forehead.

Not even enough strength to toss and turn, Taras thought. He must know his heat would start tonight. So then… Why did you leave the door open? Do you still believe… that I'm a good person?1 Is it naïveté, stupidity, or something else?

Why did you invite me in, leaving the door open like that, without taking a suppressant?

Was this the plan he crafted when he saved Taras, to mess with his mind? To tempt him? He could have grabbed him right now, shaken him awake, and demanded an answer. But there was no rush. No matter what the Treasure planned, he could never win against Taras. Whatever his goal was, it didn't matter.

Taras dragged a chair closer to the bed and sat down, deep in thought.

As if Le An could sense being watched, he shifted slightly on the bed. His eyelids twitched, his restless face scrunched with a soft whimper. Instinctively, Le An's hand moved, searching for a presence, his fingers wrapped weakly around Taras's knee.

"Theo…" He mumbled.

Taras's body tensed at the sound. Even now, half-conscious, defenseless to the bone, this omega reached out, not knowing who he was really touching. Taras pulled his knee away, eyeing the empty hand that remained in its place.

So you even let him into this room. When you're this defenseless. And then what? What do you expect him to do next?

Taras's fingers slid over Le An's hand. Le An flinched, his brows furrowing.

"Not like this?" Taras murmured under his breath. Le An pulled his hand away, his voice so small it almost vanished into the pillow.

"Just… pheromones… then leave…"

"I… want to be alone… We talked about it, ungh…" As if a sudden cramp hit him, he squeezed his legs together and held his stomach. "Please… Pheromones and then… leave."

Le An turned his back to Taras and lay on his side.

The mattress dipped under Taras's weight as he shifted closer, moving onto the bed behind him. A cool hand slipped over Le An's waist, found his wrist and held it. That hand traced over Le An's knuckles with his thumb, a familiar sensation that made Le An flinch, eyes fluttering open weakly to look back over his shoulder.

His body managed just enough strength to turn and see him.

"It's you," Le An whispered.

Taras finally met Le An's eyes, now open and hazy. He only stared, then his gaze dropped to Le An's shoulders, already stiffening all over again.