Even a Scoundrel Gets Tired

63 – Apology

I felt the cold sensation of the clockwork key gripped in my hand.

Along with the feeling that I had finally returned to reality,

status windows began popping up before my eyes.

≪You have successfully prevented the Cult’s destruction.≫

You succeeded in protecting the Order, that which countless souls yearned for until they crumbled to dust.

The spirits of many devotees offer their thanks.

You, alone, vanquished the Seven Deadly Sins of the Order of ???.

The quality of the quest reward is enhanced.

*As rewards are enhanced, they merge into one.*

Reward: Eye of the Ash Dragon

The status window, appearing suddenly, vanished,

and a blue light, like a firefly, materialized in the air,

drifting, drifting closer to me.

I reached out my hand towards the blue light,

and it fell, plump, into my palm.

The blue light faded, leaving behind in my hand

an ashen pupil, ripped vertically in two.

≪You have obtained the Eye of the Ash Dragon.≫

This is the eye of an Ash Dragon, so deeply consumed by inexplicable resentment that even in death, it could not close its eyes properly.

They say that one who possesses the eye of a dragon will either meet their doom,

or become powerful enough to transcend even that.

However, the will of this dragon, still dwelling within the eye,

may doubt your strength.

If you fail to meet its expectations,

it might one day seize control of your body.

Effect: Temporarily allows the use of Dragon Speech.

Temporary side effects will occur after using Dragon Speech.

Seeing the words on the status window that reappeared,

I brought my hand to my mouth.

Dragon Speech.

The apex of all species,

the dragon, who could be said to be the most outstanding of all mages.

A being that all boys have dreamt of at least once in their childhood,

a being known only as legend.

They are said to have mastered all magic,

able to imbue truth within a single word,

and even capable of causing phenomena with that single word.

That is Dragon Speech.

Magic where the world moves as you speak.

Magic that, for a brief moment, ignores the laws of the world.

To grant me the ability to use something like that, even temporarily.

Lost in thought by the more generous reward than I anticipated, for only a moment,

I tighten the clockwork device in my hand once more.

Dragon Tongue magic is all well and good, but

there are far more pressing matters at hand.

First, I left the room with the thought of gambling on the one, slim possibility, should it even exist.

Opening the door, I met Ella’s gaze.

She was wearing civilian clothes, not her maid uniform, and

her eyes were heavy with sleep, as if she’d been dozing.

As I examined her uncommon attire,

she scanned my own clothes up and down, rubbed her eyes, and spoke.

“You’re going out again?”

“Yes, there’s somewhere I need to be for a short while.”

“…When will you be back?”

“It won’t take long. Prepare supper for me.”

“Yesss…”

Leaving Ella to drift back to sleep,

I exited my dormitory room, which I’d only just arrived in.

My destination is decided.

*

“…Almost there.”

Lost in thought, I’d walked until I arrived at a garden.

All around, vibrant flowerbeds unfolded in dazzling splendor, and

the refreshing scent of grass welcomed me.

And right in the center, a stone monument stood boldly.

A gravestone that didn’t quite fit this beautiful place,

or rather, could be considered out of place.

But no one would dare

criticize the location of that gravestone.

For the Duchess Reinhardt rests beneath it.

“It’s been a while, Mother.”

I wait for a reply that will never come,

passing the time.

“I apologize for not visiting sooner.

Things have been… hectic, one way or another…”

I offer an awkward smile, waiting for an answer, but

again, none comes.

Even so, I continue to speak, steadfast.

Perhaps… perhaps.

She might return.

“Mother, I miss you more than usual today…”

Still, no answer returned.

With a heavy sigh, I dropped my head.

I knew it, yet the wind felt particularly frigid.

And I gazed intently at the clockwork key in my hand.

The moment I decided to use it,

the surrounding scenery shifted in an instant.

The souls of earthworms drowned, unable to escape the earth on a rainy day.

The soul of a bird killed instantly, struck in the head by debris carried on a typhoon’s winds.

Even the soul of a robust man, seemingly enjoying the view while perched on a tree.

Things unseen in an instant,

manifested before my eyes, and in the world.

Clutching at the faintest glimmer of hope, I turned around.

Perhaps… even if it were a sliver of possibility.

Was Sariel still lingering here?

Had she been watching over me from afar?

Was she worried about my well-being?

Such a small hope bloomed within my heart,

swirling like mist.

And the moment I turned around,

the only thing that awaited me, unchanged,

was a single gravestone, cast in deep ash grey.

“…It’s not possible, is it?”

For a soul to remain on earth, it needed a lingering attachment.

A strong attachment capable of tethering a spiritual form that shouldn’t exist here.

So I thought she might not be.

My mother had passed with a blissful expression, until the very end.

Still, I’d harbored a handful of hope.

I’d embraced an expectation that swelled within my chest.

But it scattered.

That handful of expectation scattered.

It was a shame, truly a shame, but

I tried to shake it off and stand.

“O…ppa?”

“…Aria?”

It was a whim, plain and simple.

My visiting this place.

My brother, changed and grown so cold.

I remember that day, attempting to talk, only to be turned away.

He said he wasn’t my brother.

That expression, forever pushing me away, I cannot forget it.

I feared that cold look once more.

And so, I deliberately avoided him.

For a time, it was nice; my brother had gone to the monastery,

there was no need to avoid him then.

But my brother has returned.

And today, of all days.

I was afraid.

Afraid he’d look at me with those eyes again.

The more he looked at me that way,

the more the brother in my memories seemed to distort.

Why my brother became like this,

even Father won’t tell me the full story.

It’s stifling.

I wanted to unburden myself somewhere.

That’s why I came here.

I planned to pour out my troubles at the tombstone.

Hoping, as in a fairytale,

that she might listen to my worries.

But it wasn’t her; it was him who was here.

And looking at me as he had back then.

He saw me and turned to leave.

“W-wait… just a moment…!”

“…?”

Inwardly, I felt a sense of relief,

but quickly reconsidered and stopped him.

If I didn’t resolve this now,

I felt I might never face him again.

“J-just… let’s talk…”

“I, don’t precisely have anything to say

to young lady Reinhardt.”

His response was shockingly cold.

Like a icicle frozen solid.

It was as if speaking with me,

It was as if he considered it a bothersome affair.

Still, I wouldn’t give up.

I wanted to hear the reason clearly, right here and now.

So, I decided to try speaking to him once more.

“…I don’t understand why you keep doing this.”

Of course, what returned was a frigid refusal.

It was around this point that tears welled up.

Not from sadness, but from pure injustice.

I had loved the older brother of the past.

His eyes, unlike Father who sternly taught me every day,

and my eldest brother, were warm, and I loved that.

Every time I finished my lessons with the tutor,

I enjoyed wandering through the fields with him.

Even when we exchanged mischievous pranks,

I loved the way we could always laugh it off in the end.

But it was Oppa who had changed.

He treated others carelessly,

became consumed by greed, indulged in extravagance,

and only associated with lowlifes.

The warmth in his eyes was gone, replaced by muddied pupils.

But why did he change again, confusing me so?

And in an even worse direction.

If his eyes of the past were muddied,

his eyes now were as black as obsidian.

Obsidian black and deep eyes, beautiful perhaps,

but one wrong step, and I felt I would be sucked into the abyss within them.

That’s how precarious he seemed.

So, I worried,

and was rejected by him, just like that.

What did I do that was so wrong?

Truly, so wronged and wronged,

it felt as if the volcano in my heart was about to erupt.

And only now did I speak.

The volcano in my heart erupted just as it was.

“What…!”

“…?”

“What did I do that was so wrong!!”

“…what─”

“You’re the one who started it, you crazy b*stard!!”

*

She weeps.

None other than Aria, at that.

Casting aside the grace she’d learned since childhood,

she sits, slumped right there, and sobs uncontrollably.

The moment I see her tears,

I nearly rush to comfort her, but somehow manage to root my feet.

“…My Lady.”

“Why did it have to turn out like this…

Tell me, or how am I supposed to know…”

“…”

“You’re the one who changed first…”

“…”

“Changing like that, all on your own…

Why are you angry at *me*…”

Aria wails again, her sobs unrestrained, and

I find myself unable to speak, to utter a single word.

My throat, it simply clenches shut.

I acted like a scoundrel.

Because the Duke commanded it so.

And so, she treated me coldly.

Because I acted in such a way as to deserve it.

And recently, I grew angry with her.

For me, it was a near-whining expression of pent-up frustration,

but it shouldn’t have been.

I was the one who had acted this way until now,

and I was the one who hadn’t said a single word to her.

Getting angry with her was likewise *my* doing.

No matter how wronged I felt, I shouldn’t have done that

to a girl so much younger than myself.

As that thought fully dawned on me,

I could no longer hold myself back.

My body, which I had barely managed to restrain,

moved faster than I ever thought possible, embracing her head.

Just like when I used to comfort her when she was small and cried.

“…Eh?”

“I’m sorry, Aria.”

“….”

“It was my fault.”

“Waa…eeh.”

Upon hearing my words, she closed her eyes and then,

As if the world had ended, she began to wail, a great, tearing sob.

And wracked by guilt for her,

I could only repeat, again and again, that I was sorry.