Even a Scoundrel Gets Tired

64 – Regret and Farewell

After time passed, and then passed again,

Aria seemed to calm, pushing herself from my embrace.

And as if she hadn’t been crying at all,

she narrowed her gaze sharply, fixing me with a stare.

“So, speak.”

“Speak of what?”

“Why you changed so much back then,

and why you’re acting like this towards me now. Everything.”

“..Do you really want to hear it?”

“Yes. I’ll hear it by any means necessary.”

I was wrong.

Aria’s eyes were filled with sincerity.

Perhaps, I could tell her everything and find some peace.

But truthfully, I was reluctant.

Her pride in her family,

was exceedingly high.

No, more precisely, it was pride in the Duke’s name.

She was proud of her father, who tirelessly honed himself, spreading that reputation

far and wide throughout the Empire.

And so, she also strove.

Others probably wouldn’t know the motivation behind her efforts.

But, I remember it vividly.

What we spoke about, about our dreams when we were children.

*

“Oppa, one day I want to become like Father!”

It was an unexpected pronouncement.

It was a rare, high-pitched voice from a child who was always so quiet.

“Why?”

“Huh? Because Father is amazing, isn’t he?

He defeats monsters all by himself and protects the people of the domain!”

It was true.

At that time in the Empire, the Northern Territory suffered

so many invasions by monsters,

and the person who single-handedly fought them off

was our father, the Duke.

“That’s true, I suppose.”

“I want to become that strong too!

So I can protect people later.”

For a quiet, studious child, it was an impossibly lofty dream.

His strength was purely a product of effort, after all.

But I didn’t bother mentioning it.

Because it was just a child’s dream, wasn’t it?

Rather than shattering that dream,

it was the role of family, of elders, to encourage it.

“Yeah, you can do it. You’re my little sister, after all.”

“Mm…what about you, Oppa?”

“Huh?”

“What kind of person will you become?”

To that commonplace question—what kind of person will you become—

I couldn’t give an answer.

I was already too late to offer such a reply.

“…I am─”

I don’t know what answer I gave then.

I can’t remember.

Perhaps I erased it from my memory.

The only thing I distinctly recall

was Arya’s expression at that moment, the strange way she looked at me.

*

“Hurry and tell me, I don’t want to use magic on Oppa.”

“…Your skill at threats has improved.”

“Quickly.”

There’s a sincerity woven into her words.

A resolve that she won’t back down any further,

and at the same time, mana swirls around us,

as if she’s ready to cast magic at any moment.

A level impossible for someone her age, for anyone else,

but Arya’s talent made it possible.

≪Status Window—Observe, Target: Arya Reinhardt≫

≪Race: Human≫

The precious daughter of the Reinhardt ducal family.

She possessed a timid personality from a young age,

but for some reason, she transformed into someone taciturn several years ago.

She is learning magic, and

no professor is stingy with praise for her spells.

She, along with the children of the Leunyel ducal house, were—

Had lived, always in comparison.

≪Trait: Mana Sovereign≫

≪Mana, not another’s own, bends to her will.≫

Mana Sovereign,

Her trait, the secret to her strength.

All mana dances to her tune.

She draws it to herself; her own is nigh

inexhaustible. The countless spells she’s

mastered since childhood surge towards her foe.

Few students can stand against her.

“Whatever you’re thinking,

you’d best not lie to me, Oppa.”

“Is it truly… necessary?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Even if it affects you?”

“I don’t care.”

Faced with her unwavering gaze,

it was I who eventually yielded.

I knew her stubbornness; once she fixated,

there was no breaking her resolve.

I told her everything.

From the moment my trait manifested,

to the Duke’s command upon its revelation.

Why I tormented Lianna specifically,

the things I did after Mother passed.

Everything.

Before the telling, her face was impassive,

but slowly, it twisted with anguish.

Could this be the same stoic girl I knew?

Until the end of my confession,

she said nothing,

patiently hearing me out.

Except for the occasional, “So…Father…”

a nonsensical mutter.

“…That’s how it is.”

“….”

As my words faded, her face

dropped once more, hidden from view.

“Arya?”

“…”

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but,

anyway, it’s all—”

“All what?”

She tilts her head back again.

Her eyes are a little redder than before.

“All done with?

You’re going to tell me there’s no need to be so upset?”

“..Yeah, it’s all done with—”

“Why?”

She sheds tears again.

A single drop falling down her cheek,

it felt more like anger than sorrow.

“Oppa… why did you accept it?”

“….”

“Father was wrong,

he shouldn’t have said such things to his child…?”

“..It was the best decision considering the family—”

“Then what about you, Oppa?”

One step, she comes closer to me.

For some reason, I feel a weight of a thousand pounds

on her feet that should be light.

Two steps, she continues the conversation as she comes closer.

“You must have known too, Oppa,

the reaction that would pour down on you if you accepted that proposal.”

“..I—”

“If you’re going to say some nonsense like, ‘I’m okay, I can endure it’,

just stop it, I feel like I’m going to suffocate.”

“…”

“You were always like that, Oppa.

You never seemed to care about yourself.”

Three steps, her steps don’t stop.

Her words, as sharp as if stabbing my heart, fly at me,

and at the same time, her tearful eyes look at my face.

“Right now, I feel so betrayed.”

“….”

“I can’t believe that the father I’ve always respected,

said those things to you, Oppa…

I wish I could believe you were lying!!”

“…Aria.”

“…But, if that’s the truth?”

“…”

Another single tear welled, escaped her iris,

a tear as white as jade tracing the curve of her jaw,

slowly, so very slowly making its descent.

Four steps and she was right before me.

“What have I done to you all this time, then?”

“…Aria, I didn’t m─”

“Don’t tell me it’s alright!”

Her hands seized my collar.

Though her shorter stature made for a somewhat

comical sight, the expression on her face was anything but.

“How… how can I atone to you?”

“…”

“What can I do?

Please… I beg you… tell me…”

“…”

The hand clutching my collar didn’t linger, and then

she slumped to the floor.

The tears didn’t cease

but not a sound did she make.

Perhaps she thought herself undeserving of audible grief.

Her sorrow seemed to simply compound, again and again.

There was nothing for me to do.

Save for her to gather herself.

Even so, because I wished I could be of use.

I embrace her head once more.

To say I am here.

To signify I hadn’t left her side

I gripped her head and squeezed.

*

“Have you settled?”

“…Yes.”

The outburst of tears that erupted again wasn’t easily calmed,

but I managed to comfort her, somehow.

A strained silence hung between us, newly dropped,

though it didn’t linger long.

She rose to her feet first.

“Oppa…”

“…I’m listening.”

“I’m going to see Father.”

Her words compelled me to rise as well.

I had a feeling what she was about to do.

“Don’t.”

“I will.”

“You know better than anyone that confirming it won’t gain you anything.”

“Even so, I will.”

It seemed pointless to say anything more.

Her eyes held the resolve of someone completely decided.

“…Why?”

“Confirmation. To see if Father really was that kind of person.”

“…It won’t be good.”

“I know, but…I will anyway.”

“…I advise against it.”

“I don’t care.”

Helpless, I could only offer a nod,

and her smile flickered into being.

A smile I used to see often, uniquely hers.

“I’ll go ahead, Oppa.”

“…Alright.”

And just like that, we parted ways.

No further conversation was needed.

Therefore, all that remained for me

was to return to the dormitory where Ella waited.

*

After returning to the dormitory,

I went straight to my room and began working.

Now that I could use the artifact,

there was no need to delay the work any longer.

If anything, I felt it was already late enough

to announce my accomplishments and establish my name as an alchemist.

And so, I created a human body.

I formed the skeleton,

attached the muscles,

and finally, covered it with skin.

There were areas where I didn’t know the structure,

I replicated my body exactly, down to the last cell,

so there was no reason for any anomaly within the flesh.

Thus, a mass of flesh was crafted, outwardly identical to a human,

but the problem lay elsewhere.

A soul did not enter the flesh,

nor could I manage to grant it a brain.

To replicate the structure of the brain from memory alone

proved too intricate,

and for some reason, the soul would only linger briefly within the flesh,

incapable of directly controlling it.

Facing an unexpected impasse, I could only

rack my brain and ponder,

and before long,

the answer presented itself from an unforeseen quarter.