Fantastic Dream Upon This Wonderful Existence

"Curses! Just wait until I tell Aqua senpai about this… She will purify that stupid, arrogant, good for nothing Lich!"

"Yes…"

"I mean, how dare she ridicule us! She should just go crawl back in the hole where she came from, don't you think?"

"Yes…"

"To think that a Lich is the owner of such prestigious magic shop… We should rob her sometimes, don't you think?"

"Yes…"

"That's right! She must've used shady means to gain her funds! She's probably the one funding the Demon King and spying on the adventurers in Axel City! We should definitely purify her at any chance we get, don't you think?"

"Yes…"

So there I was, listening to Chris's relentless nagging on our way to the cafe. Her hatred for demons and undeads spoke length on the difficulty of this mission. Though I was grateful that Vanir wasn't around.

Just thinking about what would Chris do if she were to ever meet Vanir… Yeah, let's just hope that never happen, shall we?

After walking for a while, we made it at the Morning Angel Cafe. It is as crowded as usual and a waitress stood in front of a gated entrance. I stopped for a bit before entering the shop and turned to Chris.

"Ano… Chris, can you do me a favor and pretend you're a boy?"

"Eh? But we didn't bring any disguise…"

"Well… You do have a very slender body and umm… I don't think you need any disguise…"

Chris looked like I just stabbed her with her own knife.

"Bu-but, I'm a girl…"

"Wait, don't get depressed, lots of men out there like slender bodies! I mean… sure you don't look as feminine as Megumin but…"

"Not feminine?"

"No, I mean, yes, I mean I heard you get hit on a lot right?"

"By other girls…"

The thief sunk deeper into her depression. I decided that it's irrecoverable for now and led her to the Morning Angel Cafe. The waitress wore a classic black and white maid uniform with a pair of floppy bunny ears on her head.

I don't know about you, but floppy bunny ears looked much cuter than the straight one.

"Welcome to the Morning Angel Coffee, would you like to make a reservation or make a take away order?"

I gestured at the depressed Chris beside me. "My friend here is uhh… He's a little bit depressed after people questioned his sexuality. Do you know any brews you can help us? If you know what I mean…"

A small smile formed on the waitress face. "Right this way customers…"

As the waitress led us around the cafe and towards a secret staircase behind building. Beside me, a still depressed Chris began humming to herself.

The fallen light drowns,

In the heart of despair…

To the lord of evil,

she was dragged by her chains…

The staircase was well lit with neon white and pink coloring. There are some motivational posters and inspirational signs at walls. I don't know the purpose but it seems to be pretty important.

Forgive me child,

For all the prayers unheard…

Forgive me god,

For all the soul that was lost…

At the end of the staircase is a door that led into the secret cafe. Unlike the traditional succubus cafe, this secret cafe also serves coffee and sweets to their customers. It's also quite crowded with familiar faces.

Oh heaven failed, and the light has fallen…

Oh darkness fell, and the evil has won…

Most of the adventurers here recognized me and they were quite surprised to see me here. I just smiled sheepishly at them and mouthed them to 'don't tell my wife' and they chuckled in response.

The holy light was snuffed,

In the infernal seas…

To the lord of hell,

she was shackled to disgrace…

I looked around the shop for a bit before I finally found her. A pink haired succubus behind the bar and a hooded figure sitting in front of her. The hooded figure glanced at me and I noticed her crimson red eyes.

Forgive me child,

For I have fallen from grace…

Forgive me god,

For my light has been razed…

I smiled a little at Chary and she waved her hand with a playful smile on her face. She then looked at the depressed Chris with an uncertain look on her face. But then she nodded in determination and led us to a room behind the bar table.

Oh heaven failed, and the light has fallen…

Oh darkness fell, and the evil has won…

"Alright, how may I help you, Kazuma kun?"

"Chary san? Was it? We uhh…" I turned to Chris who still stared at the floor blankly. "Ano, Chris, can you stop being depressed for a bit? We're in the middle of something here…"

I shook Chris's shoulder and she didn't budge at all. She just kept repeating her lament. I mean, was she really shaken up by the fact that this shop exist at all? Why though?

"Chris, we're here to save Darkness remember?"

Still no response.

"Eris sama?"

A flicker of light came on her eyes. She slowly turned towards me, her eyes glazed.

"What did you call me?"

"Eris sama, goddess of luck who pads her…"

"STOP!!! That's slander!" just like that, Chris returned to reality. She then glared at Chary. "And you! How dare you build your nest underneath this place! Just wait until I tell sensei, you will all be purged from the land of the living!!!"

Chary blinked a little. "Your sensei? That's the CEO isn't it? Lady Paradox?"

"That's right! And she is more powerful than you can imagine! She'll wipe you out and…"

"But she was the one who relocated us here…"

Chris froze and her eyes widened in disbelief. "EH!?"

"After the success of Alcanretia Secret Paradise, we decided to make something similar here in Axel City,"

"You mean place like this exist in the Holy City of Alcanretia!?"

"Yes…"

Chris groaned in frustration. "Aah! Forget it!!! This world is beyond saving! I'm ending this world!"

Wait, what? No!

"Now, now, don't be too hasty Chris chan," I said calmly. "I mean, they've been here for a very long time and no one gets hurt, right?"

"Bu-but… demons! Demons are lurking underneath the city!!!"

"Have trust in the goddess of Wisdom. If she thinks they're fine, then it's fine," I turned to Chary. "You haven't been doing anything bad in this place, right?"

Chary shook her head. "Oh my, of course not, the Succubus working under me has a symbiotic relationship with all the male adventurers in the city. We take care of their build up lust and take just a little bit of their vitality for payment."

"You can't just do that!!!"

"It's okay Chris chan, it's only a little bit. Not only that, but because of our services, the sexual crime rate on this city is extremely low. Female adventurers can rest easy without having to worry about getting hit on by the male adventurers, and the male adventurers can dream and fantasize as wildly as they want without harming the female adventurers."

"What do you mean dream and fantasize?"

Chary smiled a little and used her hands to support her head. "We provide dream services… You can request any dream you want, any dream, and the succubus will provide you with it… it could be with someone you love, a fictional character, someone you have a grudge for… And you can do anything you want…"

Chris gritted her teeth and took out her blade. "Don't you dare try to sway me you filthy demon! I have no need for sexual relief!"

"But lots of adventurers needs it Chris san," I commented. "I mean, I kind of get why Lady Paradox would keep them around. Imagine what would happen if there are no succubus around,"

"I'm sure nothing wrong will happen,"

"Really? In a world where male and female would sleep together on a stable? In a world where sleep and paralyzing spell exist? In a world where people can strip someone with a voice command? In a world where porn and doujins are rarer than a magic power stone?"

"But if this keeps up, what about the declining birth rate!?"

"I can answer that," the door behind us opened, revealing a certain hooded individual. She then flipped the hood and Chris gasped in surprise. "The… Succubus Cafe not only deal with lust, they also deal with love…"

"You owe me, BIG TIME!!!" Megumin yelled in my mind.

"Yes, thank you, I'll treat you something good later, I promise,"

"Me-Megumin? You knew about this shop?"

Megumin, very reluctantly nodded. "Yes… Many came to this place looking for love advice… There is also a service for couple to… share dreams so that they can… do it without worrying about the consequences…"

Chris then turned towards me. "You knew about this!?"

"I had a sneaking suspicion…"

The goddess in disguise took a deep breath, as if trying to control herself. "Ahh!!! I can't take it! First, an undead contributes to forty percent of Guild's Funding. Now the succubus here is responsible for the peace of the Axel City?"

"Apparently, yeah…"

Chris bit her lip and looked away from us. "Fine! I don't care anymore!" she then glared at Chary. "As for you! If you're not evil then prove it! Save my friend without making some stupid contracts!!!"

"Eh?" Chary looked down for a bit. "Us devils can't do something like that… We literally have to make a contract,"

"I knew it! You're planning to take our soul as payment? Aren't you?"

Chary slowly shook her head. "We can negotiate a price, it doesn't have to be a soul," she said. "Us devils feeds on negative human emotions, if you can give me that, I can easily help you,"

Chris gritted her teeth. "So you're planning to torture us for your sick pleasure as payment?! Is that it?!"

"N-no! I'm really not into that… Different demon has different reference. Some prefers humiliation and disappointment as their source of sustenance. Some prefers pain and despair like you said just now. Some prefers frustration and anger."

I gently pat Chris's shoulder and used just a hint of Drain Touch to calm her down.

"Then what do you prefer, Chary san?" I asked the Duke of Hell.

The succubus looked away for a bit. "Well… I do love myself some awkwardness. Jealousy. Embarrassment. And the likes… You know, the type of things you'd find from romance comedy stories?"

"Is that it?" Chris asked. "You're not going to force us to kill each other and feed on our despair?"

"I admit, there are some demons out there who would love to do something like that, but not me."

Chris looked down in deep thought. "Okay… what do you think Kazuma? What should we do to pay this stupid demon?"

"Don't you fucking dare…"

"That's the spirit Megumin chan!"

I gently moved Chris so that she's facing me. Then I brought my face close to hers and her cheeks reddens. I gently stroked the back of her head and she started to shiver.

"Ka-Karma kun? What are you…"

I pulled her head to mine and gave her a deep kiss. The girl tried to push me away but after a few seconds, she returned the gesture. Beside me, I can feel Megumin's bloodlust directed at all of us.

After ten seconds, I let go of her. The thief's face is red and she looked like she's going to die from embarrassment. She then glanced at Megumin who's glaring at her with murder in her eyes before looking back at me.

"Did you just kissed me in front of your wife!?"

"Makes it more awkward isn't it?"

"Awkward doesn't even begin to cover it!" Chris turned back to Megumin. "Megumin if you want to blame anyone, blame him, or heck, kill the demon for me, I am not at fault!"

"I know! Shut up!" Megumin yelled. "I'll kill you both later!"

"Oh my!" Chary giggled a little. "What a splendid emotion! Thank you so much, Chris chan, Megumin chan," she stood up from her position. "I'll take this as the advance payment, now, what was it that you want from me again?"

---

I knocked on the door to Darkness's room. Quick footsteps came from the door and Aqua opened the door for us. "Welcome back! Did you get it?" she then tilted her head in confusion. "What happened to those two? And why is she here?"

Yeah, so, Chris and Megumin still can't get over what happened back in the Cafe. As for Chary, well, she's pretty much having a feast right now. Teasing the two of them endlessly, and even flirting with me to fan the fire.

"Yeah, let's not talk about that," I turned to Chary who's still giggling to herself. "Come on Chary, let's safe Darkness…"

"Yes, Kazuma kun, oh what a wonderful day today have been…"

We both stepped into the room. There, we saw Lord Ignis sleeping on a chair beside Darkness's still form. It's a little bit sad and I felt a little guilty for using both him and her daughter for this mission.

But it's for the sake of the Succubus Cafe and the Hidden Paradise.

Chary stepped towards Darkness's sleeping form. "This is Maxwell kun's magic…" she muttered to herself as her hand glows pink. "So this is what Vanir san has been planning huh?"

After a moment, Darkness opened her eyes and we all sighed in relief. Then, as if sensing her daughter's recovery, Lord Ignis also opened his eyes. He quickly stood up and rushed to her Daughter's side.

"Lalatina!"

"Fa-Father?"

Ignis embraced her daughter into a hug with tears of joy streaming down his face.

Huh, this seems felt a little bit familiar…

With that, I decided to give the two some privacy and left the room. Outside the room, I saw Chary being held on her neck by Megumin and Chris holding a knife in front of her face.

"Can we not kill her?"

"No!" They both replied at the same time.

"Ahhh…" Chary whined a little. "It was just a little prank, no need to go as far as to kill me… Dying is really, really uncomfortable you know? I don't even want to know about my room condition back in hell…"

"Shut up!" Chris lunged at her with a throwing knife but I was quick enough to grab her by wrist. "Let go of me Kazuma! We have no use for her!"

"Chris, killing her will do us more harm than good," I told her. "Just let her go will ya? She didn't really hurt anyone,"

"I beg to differ!" Megumin shouted, tightening her choke hold on Chary. "She pissed me off!"

"Not you too Megumin!"

"Shut up, I'm killing you after this!"

I rolled my eyes and looked back at Chris. The thief still struggled against my iron grip. "Look, Chris, what makes you hate demons anyway?"

Chary nodded a little. "Yes, I'm also curious. Why do you hate demons so much? Whatever have we done to you?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe the freaking Demon King threatening this world?! It's because of you the people in this world suffers! It's because of you the people in this world cannot rest easy at home! It's all because of the Demon King!"

"But… the Demon King isn't even a demon…"

Chris froze after hearing that. "What are you talking about?"

"The Demon King is a reincarnated person from Japan, just like Kazuma kun here," Chary gestured at me. "He was sent here by the Goddess of Water, if you want anyone to blame for giving demons bad rep, you can blame her."

"N-no! Don't think you can trick me! There's no way a lowly devil like you have any knowledge on what happened at the heavens!"

"I heard it from the Demon King himself and Lady Paradox. Why do you think Aqua gets banished from the heavens? She's banished here so that she can clean her own mess."

"Stop it!"

"Okay, I stop…" Chary looked at me apologetically. "Also, Megumin san… It's starting to get just a little bit uncomfortable… Can you let go of me?"

Megumin reluctantly let go of Chary.

The succubus sighed in relief before looking at Chris. The thief looked extremely confused, angry, and frustrated. But Chary didn't really teased her, instead, the succubus smiled softly at the thief.

"Eris sama…" she whispered to the goddess. "If you're still uncertain, go ask Lady Paradox, she'll explain everything to you,"

"I'm planning on it…" Chris muttered darkly.

"But you also has to listen to her. She is the Goddess of Wisdom, her intelligence and cleverness rivals even Vanir san, the Devil of Foresight who knows everything that happens in this world,"

"Of course she is, Lady Paradox will never lose to a stupid demons like you," Eris muttered.

"That's the spirit," then she turned towards me. "Kazuma kun, please take her to Lady Paradox, let the light of wisdom guide her to the right path," she said.

"I will, thank you, Charybdis sama,"

"Ara, just call me Chary, Kazuma kun,"

I took Chris hand and smiled at her. "Let's go Chris, I have a feeling Lady Paradox is already waiting for us outside," I turned back to Chary. "By the way, I suggest you run now Chary san,"

"Eh?"

Megumin cracked her fists and Chary's face paled a little.

"Ne… Kazuma kun," Chary said with a forced smile. "Can you… can you do me a favor and…"

"No, Megumin isn't someone who makes empty threats," I led Chris out of Darkness's mansion. "I'll tell Vanir to revive you later, see ya!"

"Kazuma kun!"