Fantastic Dream Upon This Wonderful Existence

After teleporting away from the mansion, we found ourselves sitting around a round table at the Morning Angel Cafe. I did not intend to teleport us here, so I'm guessing that Paradox was OP enough to even hijacked my teleportation.

I sat facing Lady Paradox, beside me is Chris facing a certain masked devil. Paradox is currently sipping on her coffee while Vanir sitting on the table with an empty expression.

Something tells me that Vanir isn't actually present and now I'm staring at an empty shell of himself. I mean, I guess the Archdevil got some stuff to do back in hell.

Chris doesn't seem to recognize Vanir. She leaned towards me and slowly whispered.

"Ne, Kazuma, who's that?"

"That's Vanir, the Archdevil and the Duke of Hell. He's the devil of foresight who can totally ready your mind,"

"Wh-what!?" Chris was about to stand up, only to freeze on the spot. Her eyes widened in fear as she slowly turned towards Lady Paradox.

The little girl still has her eyes closed, savoring her coffee with her brownie. But she's also holding a machete at Chris with her free hand. I do not recognize the white machete in her hand, but judging by Chris's expression, it's not something you should scoff at.

After a moment, Paradox finished her brownie and opened her eyes. "Mind your manners Eris," she said calmly. "Sit down and I'll explain everything to you,"

Chris slowly sat back down, glaring at Vanir as she did so.

Paradox's machete vanished in a spark of light.

"Tell me, Chris san, when was the last time the Kingdom of Belzerg went to war?"

"Huh? Eh? Why are you suddenly giving me a history quiz?" the thief looked up for a bit. "I think… I think it was hundreds of years ago, long before the Demon King attacks…"

"And during the Demon King's reign?"

"None, there have been no war at all. The Kingdom focused all their military on defending against Demon King's army."

"What about the surrounding countries?"

"There has been… well, not that many war I guess…"

"Compared to earth, how many international conflicts happen in this world?"

Chris scoffed at that. "Earth wins by the landslide, countries on earth piles up guns and bombs to protect themselves," she said. "I've seen many young men died back then, especially during the world war."

"Why do you think that happens?"

"Huh?"

"Why do people on earth wage war more often than the kingdoms in this world? Why do you think kingdom still exist here when there are practically no monarchy back on earth? Why do you think this world is still medieval and natural unlike planet earth? Why is this world, so freaking peaceful?"

"Because…" Chris looked down in deep thought. "Because magic exist in this world?"

"Try again,"

"Because…" Chris's eyes widened as realization dawned upon her. "Because monster and demon exist? Is that it?"

"That's right," Paradox smiled softly. "Eris chan… Evil is natural, it is the part of world. Back on earth, evil took form of human greed and corruption. Here, evil took form of hostile monsters and creatures,"

"But…"

"Eris chan, would you rather take up your sword to kill a monster or a human?"

Chris looked down. "Monster…"

"Do you want this world to turn into something like planet earth? Do you want to see people kill their own kind out of obligation for their country? Do you want war to happen in this pure, untouched world?"

"No… I don't want that…"

"Then the existence of demons and monsters are the necessary evil that kept the balance of this world. That's why I forbid Kazuma from storming the demon king castle. That's why I let Vanir san and Chary san do as they please… They are the forces that keep the evil in check."

"Keep the evil in check?"

"Would you rather have wild succubus running amok in the city or a civilized succubus doing honest work in my cafe? Would you rather have demons and undeads dealing contraband or an honest Lich working in her store?"

"I understand…" Chris leaned on her chair and put a hand on her face. "I get it! I get it! Demons and undeads are important for the sake of this city! I get it!"

"I am glad you understand, Eris chan,"

A waitress walked to our table, carrying with her two cups of coffee. She put it in front of me and Chris and bowed a little before leaving us.

Chris looked at the coffee in front of her. She then slowly took a sip of it and a soft smile formed on her face. She put down the coffee and sighed in relief.

"Delicious wasn't it?"

"It is… your brew is always amazing, sensei…"

"A succubus made that,"

"...tell her, I said thank you…"

Paradox nodded and she too sipped on her coffee. "Of course I will," she then turned towards Vanir. "Okay Vanir, you have my permission to speak,"

Oh boy here it is…

Vanir stood up and sprang into life.

"Ahaha! Thank you Lady Paradox!" Vanir exclaimed while making an exaggerated sigh. "For too long thou hath shackled moi in the prison of silence! There are lots of questions, lots of thoughts brewing in moi's mind! I am also quite curious about this goddess who are more than just a little bit popular among female adventurers!"

Chris looked a little bit taken aback by Vanir's proclamation. She probably didn't expect him to be this talkative. "Uhh… hello, Vanir san…"

"So thou hath heard of moi? But let moi reintroduce myself!" Vanir stood up and bowed exaggeratedly. "I am Vanir, the Duke of Hell and the Devil of Foresight. Moi art the devil who sees everything, including your passionate, forbidden NTR kiss with this wedded man…"

Called it…

Chris spat out her drink and coughed a little. "Wh-what!?"

Vanir wiggled his index finger and put a hand on his mask. "Now, now, I am here only to ask a few question from thee,"

"Pa-pardon?" Chris blushed a little. "And what makes you think I will tell you anything? Just because Lady Paradox tolerates you around, doesn't mean we're best friends now!"

"How stoic, and here moi hath prepared this lengthy plan to turn us into friends!"

"Lengthy plan?"

"A plan to free moi's friend, Maxwell from the shackles of an evil landlord and put a curse on the armored girl who harbors a secret crush on you the first time you meet because she thought thou art a male. Then frame it all on the foolish angel who spent too much time playing with fire and convince Satou Kazuma to convince the other goddess to pretend like she cannot heal the armored girl."

"WHAT!?" Chris glared at me. "You mean, this is all just a devil's plot?"

"Yes…"

Chris grabbed her head and groaned in frustration. "Aaah!!! I knew it! I shouldn't have trusted a demon! And what do you mean other goddess?! Does that mean Aqua senpai could have healed Darkness?"

"Yeah, easily…"

"So we literally do NOT need Chary at all?"

"Not really no…"

"And that kiss?"

"Was… part of Vanir's plan… to return a favor he had for Chary…"

Beside me, Vanir is cackling madly in glee while I dug deeper and deeper into my own grave. Chris looked like she's ready to explode any time now and Paradox is just calmly enjoying the show with her snacks.

"Aaah! You are the worst!!!" Chris grabbed my shoulder and start shaking my body. "You stole my first kiss for absolutely no reason at all!!!"

"That was your first kiss?"

"Yes you dummy!!! Ahh… I can't marry anymore, you better take responsibility Kazuma!"

"Ehh? How?"

"I don't know, you figure it out!"

I turned to the smartest person in the world who's enjoying her second piece of brownie. Unfortunately, after seeing firsthand how scary she could be, I do not feel like disrupting her snack.

Instead, I did the next best thing. That is invoking the wrath of another goddess.

"I'll pay you back by relocating your church in Alcanretia somewhere else?"

"Huh? Why would I want that?"

"Because…" I cleared my throat. "Because the underground cavern underneath your church has been repurpose as an adventurer's guild,"

"Oh… I don't mind having Adventurer's Guild below my…"

"And a succubus hot spring paradise…"

"Kazuma kun…!"

---

"M-my religion… sniff… and even myself… sniff… defiled…"

Chris cried as I led her back to the inn she's staying at.

"There, there, if you want to blame anyone, blame Lady Paradox,"

"Uwaaah… Even my priests are working together with demons!!!"

"Yeah, by Lady Paradox's doctrine, don't think about it,"

I stepped into the inn, doing my best to ignore the looks everyone gave us once we made it to the lobby. "Where's your room Chris?" Chris pointed upstairs and I simply led her up and pat her back gently.

"And now Scumzuma is going to force himself on me and steal my purity…"

"Oi! I'm not gonna do that!" I exclaimed while opening the door to her room. "Both Megumin and Paradox will murder me if I do that,"

Chris stepped into the plain old inn, there's a chest beside the bed, and a glass door that led to the balcony outside. It's quite a fancy room for a common thief like her, but not the fanciest one around here.

The thief stood in the middle of the room. "Well, I'm going to go back now," her tone sounded more mature this time. "I still have lots and lots of things to do up there, later Kazuma kun,"

With a small wave, Chris vanished in a flash of light. No doubt that she just went to back to the heaven.