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The Celestial Roulette by The Dark Wolf Shiro

Books » Worm Rated: M, English, Humor & Fantasy, Panacea, Words: 122k+, Favs: 3k+, Follows: 3k+, Published: May 23, 2024 Updated: Oct 11, 2024

1,727Chapter 3: Rogue Chef

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my original characters and works; all other characters and worlds belong to their respective owners. I'm just playing with them.

Betad by Mike God of Lore, Priapus, Beans, Marethyu Malcolm Tent, Old man of the mountain

The Celestial Roulette

Chapter 03: Rogue Chef

– Felix Dallon –

100cp gained, 150cp total

[Furon] - 500cp

The image of a cliche little grey man alien flashes through my mind, but I can't afford it and don't particularly want one so reroll it is.

[Whether There's Weather] - 100cp

If you built or designed it, it's weatherproof. What kind of weather? Yes. Snow, scorching heat, pouring rain, vacuum, hail, all sorts of weather. If a human could survive a while without a spacesuit, your tech will keep working. And maybe it'll keep working even if a human couldn't.

Purchased, 50cp remaining

It autobuys and I mentally shrug. It isn't bad, at any rate. The only tinker stuff I have is reverse engineering with magic and my cooking, so I don't know if either will benefit from this.

Still, an idea forms in my head.

[Beniemiya] gives me the ability to make food that grants temporary buffs, like a food-based Othala, while [Cake~!] allows me to just create cakes and pastries from nothing. Do they synergise together?

"What's wrong," Amy asks, frowning. "You look distracted."

I ignore her for a moment, calling on both powers at once as I create a small heart-shaped cookie in my hand.

"Amy, I'm about to do something that's probably pretty stupid, can you keep an eye on my biology?" I ask, making her facepalm. Getting my keys out of my pocket, I brace myself before I stab one of them into my arm with my enhanced strength, making me wince as it pierces my skin. Amy lets out a shout of surprise and goes to heal the fairly deep cut. "Don't heal me, just watch."

She pauses, before nodding and placing a hand on my other arm. The cut stings like a bitch, but it's just a flesh wound and I made sure not to hit bone. Eating the cookie, Amy immediately gasps as the wound starts to slowly close.

"You can make healing cakes?" Amy whispers, shock evident in her tone as I nod.

"I got a new Tinker power that's all about making super-food, and I can use my cake power to skip the cooking part of things and create super-cakes," I say with a grin.

"And you thought the best way to test this was to stab yourself in the arm?" Amy asks with a long-suffering sigh. She can't hide her rushed thoughts, considering how much of a game-changer this could be.

"Well, I wasn't going to have you test it; you can't heal yourself. I had the best healer in the world next to me. Even if the cakes backfired, then you'd be able to save me," I say confidently, watching her blush slightly at my faith in her.

"Have you decided what you're going to do?" Amy asks, making me nod.

I have an idol, a hero I look up to more than any other. It's not my mom or the ever-vigilant Armsmaster. It's not a member of the Triumvirate, or any other S-class hero who could go toe to toe with Endbringers.

It's a chick that dresses like a mouse and makes cheese puns.

Mouse Protector has always been my favourite hero, the longest-lasting independent hero in the world. She's fought some true monsters, and despite everything, she's always cracking jokes and brightening whatever dark scene she's found herself in. A joke hero doesn't mean a weak one, and with the power of cakes on my side, I could follow in her footsteps.

That said, I will also need money for my future Tinkering, and I have a way to make plenty.

"I need you to contact the PRT, and tell them that another healer has approached you for help proving his creations are safe. I'm going to become an independent hero and rogue, and I'll need to clear my creations with them first. You, of all people, know how they are with independents," I say, making her nod easily.

"I can handle that, I'll tell them that you demonstrated a healing item on yourself. Cask can do the same, but his healing brew is worse than yours. I've seen it in action, plus it's alcoholic and has a short shelf-life," Amy explains, making me nod. "What about Parian?"

"Leave it with me. I'll work out a temporary outfit first. As long as it hides my face, it'll do," I say, getting a smile from her. "I can create these cookies by the dozen. The PRT will be interested in being able to send their heroes and agents off with a way of healing themselves or others."

– Amy Dallon (Panacea) –

Felix's power was absurd, and she already knew his creations would be in very high demand. The PRT was definitely going to push for him to join them, but Felix obviously already knew that.

"What else can you make?" Amy asked, making him shrug.

"For now, I've got some vague ideas for baked goods that grant a minor brute or mover rating; I'll work up a few 'recipes' before the testing," Felix says. "It'll be fine, for I am… Sugar Rush!"

"...please tell me you're kidding," Amy asked, her lips twitching as he made a dramatic pose.

"God, I wish I was. It's that or the Pastry Paladin, I'm working on it," he admitted, making her snort.

"Nobody is going to take you seriously," Amy pointed out before she paused in realisation. "You watched way too much of the Mouse Protector cartoon growing up."

"Heh, you aren't wrong," Felix replied, flashing her a grin. "But I have to roll with the punches, and my power decided it was cakes or suicide bombing bats. I don't feel like becoming Oni Lee's copybat so Sugar Rush it is."

"I'll set everything up, Sugar, if nothing else this should be funny," Amy giggled, making him grin and ruffle her hair.

"Thanks, Ames, don't know what I'd do without you," Felix said, making her face gain a soft dusting of pink, looking downwards to avoid eye contact with him. His soft smile did things to her, and she hated herself for it.

"Probably accidentally turn yourself into a muffin or something equally dumb. Don't test anything without me there," Amy warned, giving him a stern look. He nodded with a grateful smile.

"I won't, don't worry," Felix promised, wrapping her in a brief, but reassuring, hug. "Ready to get back to the hospital?"

"Yeah, back to where things make sense," Amy quipped, getting a chuckle from him.

Following behind him, she felt her mind race at how this would change things. The ability to make edible healing items that anyone could carry and apply was a big deal, which meant that Felix was about to have a lot of attention sent his way.

She just hoped he knew what he was doing because if his life was in danger she'd reveal his secret to the rest of New Wave herself. She'd rather he be alive and angry at her than take his secret to his grave. She knew all too well how stubborn Dallon kids could be.

– Felix Dallon (Sugar Rush) –

I'm not gonna lie, names are hard. Sugar Rush is playful, fairly short and who would take Sugar seriously?

The day goes by quickly, and I'm keeping an eye on Amy as she does her rounds. We've both done it a thousand times before, and it gives me plenty of time to plan how I'm going to go about things.

I've decided on my first targets, and the obvious answer hit me like a ton of bricks. I can reverse engineer tinkertech and don't want to be taken too seriously. I could have started with the Merchants or maybe even the Undersiders, but the answer was so clear after a little thought.

Uber and Leet, the gaming duo. If I can reappropriate some of Leet's tech I'll be able to study it and make my own, less volatile, versions. I shouldn't even have too much trouble trying to find them, because the idiots stream their crimes live.

Taking Amy home, I can tell she's lost in thought as I drive. I leave her to it, a comfortable silence falling between us for the duration of the drive home.

"Thanks for today, and good work as always," I praise, ruffling her frizzy hair with a smile as she rolls her eyes and swipes my hand away. She's never been good at dealing with praise, probably because Mom never seems to compliment her if I'm being honest.

"Thanks for the lift, and you're welcome," Amy says, giving me a small smile as we get out of the car. "I'm going to tell Mom that 'Sugar Rush' approached us, she'll find out either way. You ready to lie your ass off?"

"To a lawyer superhero? Not particularly, but if I can't do this much, then my plan is already fucked," I say with a nervous laugh. I love Mom, I do, but she's one intense woman who hates secrets.

I've kept things from her before, obviously, but never anything this big.

– Next Day –

Escaping my mom's interrogation wasn't easy, but as it turns out, Amy is a skilled liar. I'm not sure when she developed this particular skill set, but she managed to skilfully navigate the questioning without lying.

She just told a lot of half-truths; I could learn a thing or two about deception from her. She was very honest, a newly triggered hero approached her and asked her to test that his healing creation didn't have any side effects. At the very least, Carol approved of Amy arranging for them to have their powers officially tested and hinted that Amy should push them to join the PRT. I wonder if she'd still suggest if she knew who Sugar Rush really was.

Somehow, I rather doubt it. There would be a lot more shouting, to begin with, and she'd definitely see me trying to go independent as a betrayal.

The PRT responded quickly, as we knew they would, giving me a single day to prepare before I'm due for testing. Vicky volunteered to take Amy, since they want her there so now I'll have to lie to her as well since I can't trust her to keep her mouth shut.

She wouldn't betray me, but she is careless. Just look at how many times she's almost outed Dean because she can't keep her hands off him when he's in costume. It's a good job that people like drama more than they care about identities because it makes a better story if Vicky is in a love triangle between Dean and Gallant.

I've claimed I'm going out with some friends from college, so I've got my alibi. Now, all I need is my costume.

Amy once more had my back, arranging for the PRT to get me something to cover my face with. It should be hilariously clear that I'm very new at this, and the PRT was happy to make themselves seem helpful and nice to a new trigger who can heal.

They sent an agent to drop off a featureless white full-face mask that I can wear to cover my face. Beyond that, I'm just going to go in wearing some civilian clothes and gloves.

The more 'new' I seem, the better. A Dallon wouldn't be so unprepared, after all. Now all that's left is to work on my 'menu' and make a variety of cakes and pastries ready for tomorrow.

A knock on my door makes me pause, calling for them to enter.

Amy walks in, dressed in her flannel pyjamas as she gives me a smile.

"I told Mom we were going to have a movie night like we used to. Wanna see what else you can make?" Amy asks with some anticipation, making me grin. I definitely picked the best partner in crime- I mean, heroism. Lying to your mom isn't a crime, even if she might disagree.

With some silly action movie on my TV, we brainstorm and generally just play around coming up with dumb 'attacks' for Sugar Rush. If I pull off some of these, the villains might just Birdcage themselves to get away from the embarrassment.

– Hana/Hannah (Miss Militia) – Next Day –

A new healer was always going to be a big deal, so when Panacea contacted them through the number they'd given her basically the first week she triggered, it pushed them into action immediately.

The younger man gestured over the various goodies he'd brought with him, dressed entirely in civilian clothes aside from the mask they'd provided. He was clearly very new, and the fact that his first action was to go to Panacea and make sure his creations were safe spoke very well of his common sense, which was unfortunately rare in the Cape community if she was being completely honest.

"Are all your creations cakes and pastries?" one of the scientists asked, making Sugar Rush shake his head.

"Not at all, I could theoretically boost any food I make but I've found these are the most convenient both for transport purposes and for speeding up the entire process. It also ties into my secondary power," Sugar explained, his voice modulated by the mask, making her glad they couldn't see her grin behind her scarf.

Cake and pastry summoning had to be the oddest power she'd heard of, but he'd demonstrated his powers by creating a Gingerbread House that was big enough to walk into. Glory Girl hadn't hesitated to take a bite out of the door when she was told it was safe.

"I can use my creation power to create the pastries and then empower them, skipping the lengthy cooking step," Sugar explained, making them nod and make a note.

So far, he'd demonstrated a series of impressive creations. His heart cookies were the biggest one. Healing on demand was always going to be a big deal after all, but it was far from the only thing he'd made.

Mind Muffins increased the eater's intelligence and problem-solving skills. Scones of Strength granted a low-level brute rating to whoever ate them. Eclairs of Energy gave the eater the equivalent of a full night's sleep (she made a note to keep an eye on Colin's diet when he learnt about them). Speedy Strudels, which granted a low-level mover rating.

Sugar had quite the selection of goods on offer, like a tastier non-Nazi Othala, which made her frown. His 'costume' made his ethnicity fairly clear but she was pretty sure he could be an African homosexual Jew and the Empire would still want to 'recruit' him once word got out.

Sugar was a force multiplier, that much was clear to see. The idea of having him forced into a gang made her scowl, but while she'd tried to bring up joining he'd explained that he just wanted to register as an Independent Hero for now.

Word would get out sooner rather than later, and she didn't want to see the responsible young man get captured and pressed into service by any of the gangs, not least of which was because the idea of a gang having access to his powers was honestly worrying. The ability to mass empower their thugs would make any group much more dangerous.

Sugar continued his demonstration, not quite hiding his nerves despite his attempt at acting carefree. She knew the Director wasn't going to be happy about Sugar refusing to join up, but she knew better than to put too much pressure on a Cape that had willingly come in for testing.

The PRT did have a reputation for trying to pressure any and all Independents into joining, and it wasn't incorrect, to be honest, but she liked to think she was good enough at reading body language to see that pushing any harder now would only drive him further away.

– Amy Dallon (Panacea) –

"I'm not helping you if you put on weight," Amy warned Vicky, making her sister laugh as she finished off her eclair (the non-super variety that she'd bugged Felix into making for her).

The testing had gone very well, but she suspected that the PRT wasn't going to accept that Felix wasn't interested in joining them. They'd gotten him to agree to sell to them when he had decided on prices now that he had a license to do business, but they weren't going to leave it at that. She was just glad it was Miss Militia today. She was far more diplomatic than Armsmaster and didn't push too hard.

"Meh, a few eclairs aren't going to make me fat. So, how old do you think Sugar is?" Vicky asked, making Amy pause, wondering if Vicky was onto them. Felix had worn baggy clothes to make it harder to work out his build and the mask did a lot of good for hiding his identity, but Vicky wasn't dumb.

"A bit older than you, I'd guess," Amy said with a shrug.

"So, young enough to be dateable then?" Vicky asked, making her miss a step. "Oh come on, I saw the looks you were giving your fellow healer. All those failed dates I tried to set up for you, you could have just told me you had a thing for older guys. Do you think he's local?"

"I- that's not what's going on," Amy spat out, her face burning as Vicky grinned. "I guess, he sounds local anyway."

"Oh come on, you telling me you don't want the candy man to give you some sugar?" Vicky teased. "You'd have access to infinite cakes, you gotta tie him down and share the goods with your loving big sis."

Groaning, Amy's cheeks radiated heat as she tried not to think too hard about what Vicky was suggesting.

"Hey, I'm not judging you for having a… sweet tooth," Vicky teased, bumping her shoulder against Amy's as she facepalmed. Felix owed her big time for this. "You were totally giving him… dough-eyes."

"Oh god, that was awful," Amy complained, watching Vicky dissolve into a fit of giggles at her own dumb jokes.

– Felix Dallon (Sugar Rush) –

Leaving the PRT building with a new phone, I smile under the mask they gave me. It's a good start, and while they can be a bit of a pain, I'd rather work with the PRT than against them.

I can't deny I'm more nervous about the next step. I have ideas for my costume, which shouldn't take long, and then it'll be time for me to make my Cape debut. I have a few ideas about how I can do that.

Feat Achieved: Become an Independent Hero (100cp awarded, 150cp total)

Huh, I thought I'd have to actually do something but I suppose just the act of putting one hell of a spotlight on myself was good enough to trigger my power again. At least this is explained, unlike the random influx I get sometimes.

[Silver Key: Columba] - 50cp

A Celestial Spirit Key that summons Columba, a surprisingly charming dove capable of reducing tension in a room by simply sapping the will to commit violence from those within

It doesn't auto-buy, which is good. I feared that every roll I could afford would auto-buy, but it's good to confirm that it only does that on rerolls. I hesitate for a moment. This is a Master effect, and that comes with a certain stigma; even worse it's a white-feathered creature with a Master effect.

It would be useful, don't get me wrong, but it would also damage my reputation before I've even had a chance to make a name for myself.

The Simurgh has left a stain on the world, and maybe I could get away with this when I'm stronger. I'll reroll.

[Warhammer 40k: Grapplehawk] - 100cp

Grapplehawks are technically a type of servitor and take the form of elegant shining steel hawks. Their glittering crania contain the transplanted instincts of avians trained to seize moving targets without damaging them. These instincts, transferred to mechanical constructs fitted with powerful suspensors and talons capable of tearing through cast iron, enable Arbites handlers to arrest suspects quickly (if brutally) on the streets of the Calixian Hives. Designed to be carried on the hip, or to perch elsewhere on the handler's armour.

Purchased, 50cp remaining

In my head, an image of a mechanical hawk appears, my power telling me that its talons are sharp enough to rip through metal. I can't say I hate it, and while I'll need to be careful so it doesn't just tear criminals or villains apart, I can definitely see the use in having my own hunting hawk.

If nothing else, it gives me a way of fighting that isn't risking being in arms reach for my enhanced strength… or throwing cakes at people. Oh yeah, I can handle the villains, lemme just get my custard pies out.

— Quest Section — (Voting Concluded)

How should Sugar Rush make his debut?

[Interrupt one of Uber and Leet's streams]

[Make a PHO post announcing his business]

[Arrange for a charity event to feed the homeless]

[Go on patrol and see what happens]