Hazbin Hotel: Another Adam

I noticed a funny but very telling piece of crap here: many overlords try to copy the Seven Deadly Sins. I don't know if they manage it by accident, or if these sinners sincerely think that imitation is the most effective and quickest way to gain power and influence, but the fact remains. That same Valentino, for example, is the spitting image of Asmodeus, just a smaller caliber and without three heads. Or Zizi, that dinosaur-like one, literally Satan! Only a woman, and, well, yes, a dinosaur. You get it.

And it's not just their appearance or behavior they try to ape from the Sins. They also develop their magic in a similar direction! Naturally, these aren't true Concepts, which the Sins or Seraphim wield. These are more like… "pseudo-concepts." Pathetic, cheap copies that these overlords derive from their Darkness, desiring to possess the same power as their idols, but lacking both the sufficient level of personal might and the necessary knowledge for it.

It would seem, then, why wouldn't all other sinners and demons also start studying and applying similar "pseudo-concepts"? To strengthen themselves, to specialize? But here everything is simple and quite logical, if you recall my recent reflections on the peculiarities of local battles and the very nature of Darkness. It's банально pointless to artificially limit oneself to one such "pseudo-concept," which provides only a narrow set of abilities, because Darkness itself, for example, which all ancient demons except, in fact, the Sins use, essentially already contains ALL these concepts in an embryonic state. That's why it's so versatile and can manifest the most diverse properties – from decay and devouring to shadow control and illusion creation. But these "pseudo-concepts" of the overlords embody only the most basic, most primitive principles of what they are attuned to – Lust, Wrath, Fear, and so on. So, for most, there's simply no point in such self-limitation. In short, cheap show-offs for those who can't do real Conceptual magic.

It's also worth noting the appearance of various territories controlled by overlords. Here too, everything is very indicative. Take, for example, the district of the "Vee-trio," that gang of who-knows-who; their area is literally Akihabara on steroids, only with a pronounced theme of eternal fucking. A bunch of skyscrapers made of glass and neon, hung with giant holographic monitors that play some ads, propaganda, or outright porn 24/7. At every step – brothels, sex shops, casinos, bars, clubs, and other "establishments of an erotic nature," and between them – huge shopping centers, crammed with all sorts of technological crap, and cafes where sinners can "culturally" relax and spend their last money.

If we take, for example, Cannibal Town, run by Rosie, then everything there is in the best traditions of small American towns from 1950s movies. Lots of beautiful, neat two-story houses with white picket fences, well-kept lawns, and flower beds. Perfect streets, lampposts, cute cafes with checkered tablecloths… The American dream, in short, only behind all this are smokehouses where they cure human flesh, and basements where they butcher the latest "fresh batch" of sinners. Disgusting, in short.

And Carmilla's district… Was more… business-like? Pragmatic? There was no ostentatious luxury or false coziness here. Only strict, functional buildings of dark metal and concrete, and an impressive scattering of various plants, factories, workshops, and warehouses where her main "wealth" – weapons – was produced and stored. I'm not sure what exactly she was doing now, after her promise to "get on the true path," but judging by the fact that smoke was still billowing from the chimneys of some factories, some production was still ongoing there. Cute…

I approach Carmilla's house itself. It was a small, elegant little mansion of dark red brick, with a high porch and a cozy inner courtyard, hidden from prying eyes. It all looked very stylish, a bit old-fashioned, but at the same time, there was a certain degree of… Grandeur? In short, you could immediately tell that not just anyone lived here, but a cool businessman, or in our case, businesswoman.

I press the doorbell button by the oak door. Some advanced crap like an intercom with a camera. After about ten seconds of waiting, the door creaks open. It seems Carmilla looked at me through the camera and decided that I could be let in without unnecessary words and questions. Well, quite logical.

Inside, the little mansion was furnished surprisingly… nicely? And even cozily. No hellish trash or ostentatious luxury. Everything was done in calm, pastel tones, with a dominance of white, cream, and some pleasant brownish-gray… Oh, I'm no expert in all these designer shades. Spacious, bright, tasteful. The passage from the small hall was divided into three directions: left, right, and up, via a wide white staircase with a carpet. To the left, as far as I could see through the slightly open door, was some kind of living room or reception hall. To the right – something like a library or study; tall bookcases filled with leather-bound books were visible. Pleasant, soft light burned in the hall from several wall sconces, and everywhere there were pots with live plants – again, earthly, not hellish; apparently, she got them through the flaming skull.

"Adam. To what do I owe such an… unexpected visit?" Carmilla's voice, calm, with a slight hoarseness, came from somewhere above; she was descending the stairs, her steps light and silent. She was dressed in her usual black and white dress, which perfectly accentuated her slender figure. But on her head, she didn't have those two ridiculous "cornrow-like things" made of hair that ruined her whole look. Last time, when we were walking around Heaven, I somehow casually mentioned that loose hair suited her much better, and lo and behold, the dear lady listened to my advice. And I must admit, it really suited her. Long hair fell freely on her shoulders, making her face more feminine.

"Hello, Carmilla. You look great today," I couldn't resist a sincere compliment, smiling broadly at her and casually waving my hand. For some reason, her appearance and this homely, cozy atmosphere lifted my spirits a little. "Well, I just dropped by to visit you. To see how things are going here, how the 'redemption' is progressing, so to speak. Maybe you even need some help from me?" I winked at her playfully.

"Help? From you? Hmm…" She came down and stopped in front of me, studying me intently with her piercing gaze. Curiosity flickered in her eyes. "Alright. Come in. Sit down." She waved her hand towards the room I had taken for a living room. "Tea? Coffee? Or perhaps something stronger?"

"Juice, if possible," I followed her into the living room. The room turned out to be quite spacious and cozy. A large soft sofa and a couple of armchairs, a low coffee table made of dark wood, bookshelves along the walls; apparently, she likes to read, and specifically paper books, not electronic ones like I used to. A huge flat-screen monitor hung on the wall, displaying a video of a burning fireplace. And above the TV hung the head of some… bear? Or was it a wolf? Anyway, the head of some large infernal critter with huge, sharp fangs and burning red eyes. Such a cute decorative element.

"Regarding the 'progress' in redemption," Carmilla said, approaching a small bar in the corner of the room and taking out a bottle of orange juice and a tall glass. "As you can see, Adam, I keep my word. I've completely stopped producing and selling weapons. Switched to peaceful products. Household appliances." She approached me, handing me a glass of juice, and took another glass from the bar for herself, with something dark red in it. Wine, apparently. "This, of course, caused quite a stir in certain circles," she continued, taking a small sip. "Right now, in the 'Judgment Day' district, there's complete chaos. Small gangs are trying to divide the vacated arms market, slaughtering each other left and right. And I transferred most of my old production facilities and technologies to Zestial. Let him deal with all this now..."

"And what, everyone just started buying pots and pans from you instead of angelic spears right away?" I took a sip of juice with pleasure. I love orange.

"We produce not only pots, Adam," Carmilla smirked slightly. "Various small household appliances – food processors, blenders, mixers, coffee makers, toasters… My special steel, as well as the unique sharpening of the blades, have always had an excellent reputation in Hell, so Vox, who used to produce similar equipment, is now biting his elbows in anger. I even know that some particularly enterprising demons specially rip out the blades from my food processors, attach handles to them, and sell them as high-quality combat knives or daggers. Stupid, of course, but as you can see, it says a lot…"

"A businesswoman to the marrow of her bones," I chuckled approvingly. "Well, commendable. You do remember what I told you about redemption, right? That you can only get to Heaven after atoning for sins and… final death in Hell?"

"Yes, Adam, I'm not so old as to forget such things in a couple of weeks," she looked at me somewhat reproachfully. Women… They always get offended by all sorts of nonsense.

"Well then," I put the empty glass on the coffee table. "As you understand, I wouldn't really want to accidentally kill three pretty decent, generally speaking, sentient beings, so I'd like to try another way. More… humane, perhaps. What do you think about a little experiment? Related to your redemption."

"Oh…" Carmilla momentarily covered her eyes with her hand as if a sudden headache had struck her. "And you, as I understand it, haven't tried anything like this before and decided to come straight to me… as a guinea pig?"

"Hey! How can you say that?!" I feigned indignation. "I told you, I don't want to harm you or your charming daughters! So, naturally, I've already tried everything many times on others! On all sorts of expendable material!"

"Expendable material?.." Carmilla arched an eyebrow questioningly.

"Well, yes!" I waved my hand dismissively. "The problem is that those sinners I experimented on didn't want to atone for their sins at all. They clung to Darkness like a drowning man to a straw, but even so, they all remained alive and well… True, one of them is now, ahem… a bit incomplete. Without a dick and balls…"

"…" Carmilla arched an eyebrow again, but now little laugh-lights danced in her eyes.

"No-no, it wasn't my doing, angel's honor!" I hurried to justify myself. "I just followed them a bit afterwards, purely out of scientific interest. I can't offer you something untested, right? And that idiot decided to hit on that dinosaur-overlord while drunk. Apparently, he was brand new to Hell, since he didn't know who he was messing with… Well, or just very brave... Or very stupid... Anyway, the outcome is predictable: Zizi didn't appreciate his lecherous advances, and now he has neither a dick nor balls. She simply crushed them... It's fucked up, in short…"

"Hmm," Carmilla chuckled quietly, shaking her head. "Well then, Adam… If you are truly sure that your 'experiment' is safe for me and my daughters…" she paused for a long moment, looking me intently in the eyes. I nodded confidently. "Then… I agree."

An amazing level of trust. Especially towards a being who, not so long ago, flew into her city to arrange a bloody massacre and wipe out half the population to fucking hell (okay, about a fifth), right? I think this can all be attributed to my incredible charisma and natural charm. What are you saying? Just that during our walk through Heaven, she had time to learn a little that not all angels are soulless killing machines, and the inhabitants of Heaven are all kind and sweet Samaritans? No-o-o, it can't be! This is one hundred percent because I'm so irresistible and cool! I'm telling you!

Two hours later. Same place, same people.

So, of course, Carmilla, before giving her final consent to my "experiment," first very thoroughly and meticulously questioned me about all the details: what exactly I was going to do, how it was supposed to work according to my design, what the risks and side effects might be. In the end, this enterprising woman dragged a whole lecture out of me on the basics of Light and Darkness interaction, the nature of Concepts, and my theories about the possibility of "cleansing" a sinful soul. That's what a true businesswoman is – she'll never miss her benefit (in this case – valuable knowledge)! And, most interestingly, after this impromptu "seminar," I wasn't offended by her meticulousness at all, but only respected her more. A smart woman, strong, and clearly not one to blindly take someone's word for it.

But her curious little darlings, Clara and Odetta, apparently, didn't quite agree with me. They, probably, were much more interested in seeing Adam himself again, a living legend, and in such an informal, domestic setting, but instead, they had to listen to a tedious two-hour lecture on the nature of Light and its interaction with Darkness. Boring. Although, I'm just grumbling like an old man; actually, with some sixth sense, I felt the interest of these two girls both in what I was saying and in my own person, because they, as I had already noticed, are not only beauties but also smarty-pants, you can see their upbringing at once.

Carmilla, by the way, also surely noticed the presence of her daughters, but since she said nothing, it means she wasn't against it. Apparently, the education and broadening of horizons for her "little ones" also interested her quite a bit.

So, what can I say about the results of the "experiment" itself, besides another stream of enthusiastic praise for these three charming sinners? Well, generally speaking, nothing particularly comforting. I was indeed able to fill Carmilla's aura with my Light, and it even had some visible positive effect on her – her skin became lighter, her eyes shone with some inner fire, the aura of Darkness around her noticeably weakened, but alas, she didn't manage to "ascend" to Heaven; no miracle happened. So, one could say, my idea of "forcible redemption" through simple Light infusion turned out to be a dead end. I'll have to discard it and look for some other, more complex method.

By the way, there was one… interesting side effect. The Darkness in Carmilla's soul and body (and I remind you that the bodies and souls of all sinners in Hell, in essence, consist of concentrated Darkness) began to actively disintegrate upon prolonged contact with my Light. Naturally, I experimented only with "unnecessary" parts of her body, in this case, her hair. It literally began to shorten, lighten, and… melt before my eyes? Anyway, when I finished the experiment, instead of long hair, she had a short, shoulder-length haircut... And a clear mark from her slap now adorned my cheek, leaving a very strong feeling of awkwardness… Hmm…

"Well then, Adam," Carmilla was the first to break the awkward silence, trying to speak as calmly and even a little pompously as possible. She went to the mirror, examining her new hairstyle with interest. "It's sad, of course, that your 'brilliant idea' didn't work out as you expected. But this will in no way change my determination to continue my path to redemption."

She said this when I was already at the threshold of the house and playfully winked at her daughters, who had been curiously watching us from the living room window all this time. They immediately blushed deeply and hid. Apparently, they didn't expect that I knew perfectly well about their presence from the very beginning.

"Don't worry, Carmilla," I smiled encouragingly at her. "I know you have everything you need for redemption. A much greater chance than most other sinners. Just… follow what your heart tells you. Do what you think is right. And then, I'm sure, you'll be able to secure eternal life in Heaven not only for yourself but also for your daughters." I placed my hand on her shoulder, and she… she also blushed for some reason! What kind of a day is it today?! Everyone around is blushing from my presence! No, I, of course, have repeatedly mentioned that I am incredibly charming, sexy, cool, and generally perfection itself, but not to such an extent as to cause a girlish blush in stern infernal overlords with a single touch!

"Ahem… Yes… Thank you, Adam… For giving me hope… And… and for everything else too…" She pretended that everything was normal and she wasn't embarrassed at all, but her trembling voice and darting eyes gave her away completely.

Hey, God! Or whoever you are, the main scriptwriter of this fucking world?! Are you subtly trolling me right now, huh?! Making all these infernal beauties blush and get flustered at the mere sight of me?! Ah, fuck you!

"Well, Carmilla, if you need anything – be sure to write or call. I'd be happy to spend some more time with you… Maybe we could even go to that cafe again?" I awkwardly said goodbye to her and quickly opened a portal to Heaven. And from there – another one, leading directly to the Hazbin Hotel. It was time to drop by my cute little "sister." I hadn't visited them in a while… Well, okay, not that long ago, but I had already started to miss this little, naive bundle of inexhaustible positivity and goodness a bit…

Somewhere far, far away, beyond the three worlds. A space without Light and Darkness. In absolute, primordial Nothingness.

"Do you still so naively hope that those pathetic 'little children' of yours will ever choose Light?" The voice was female, low, velvety, but with barely perceptible sarcastic, mocking notes. A pretty girl at first glance, with a shock of red hair turning blood-red at the tips, and equally strange, two-toned eyes – red sclera and bright yellow, almost golden irises – sat on a throne of black, smoking obsidian floating in the void, looking at her interlocutor with a lazy smirk. She had a perfect figure, accentuated by a revealing outfit of red and black leather, and a very impressive bust. "Every single one, absolutely every one to whom I offered a real choice, ultimately chose me. My Darkness, my freedom. And you still console yourself with illusions… Just give up already! Admit your defeat!"

"Without you, I would never have been able to fully realize how strongly my creations are actually drawn to Light," a young man with unnaturally pale, almost porcelain skin and long, shoulder-length snow-white hair answered her calmly. His eyes were exactly like a normal human's, but his irises… his irises were filled with pure, liquid gold that seemed to radiate a soft, warm light. He stood opposite her, calm and unperturbed, his simple white tunic contrasting with her provocative attire. "Even he, succumbing to your temptation, tasting your 'fruit'… he still remained true to the cause of Light. Even with a particle of Darkness in his soul, he still continued to champion the Light. He preserved his inner fire and even managed to multiply it, cleansing himself of your filth. You will never overcome the Light that burns in their hearts, Roo. Never."

"My fruit?!" The woman on the throne angrily arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "We CREATED it TOGETHER! Don't try to shift all the responsibility onto me now, you hypocrite!"

"Ahem…" The man flushed slightly for a moment, his cheeks barely noticeably pinkening. "Perhaps… But that doesn't change the essence of it! You will never eradicate the Light in their souls! Just as I…" he sighed heavily, "...will never completely get rid of Darkness in this world."

In the vastness of this strange multiverse, their eternal battle continued. Always, for it had no beginning and will have no end. Will Light ever be able to finally incinerate Darkness? Or, perhaps, will Darkness, on the contrary, finally absorb and subdue the last spark of Light? Unfortunately (or fortunately?) for these two ancient entities, they could no longer influence the true outcome of their eternal battle. All that was left for them was to observe. To observe what choice the inhabitants of the three worlds themselves would ultimately make…