Healing the Dark - Dragon Age Inquisition Fanfic

"You're looking troubled, kid," Varric said. "What's on your mind?"

"Am I?" Cole asked, looking over at Varric curiously. 

Varric and Solas had come to stand either side of where he had been sitting on the battlements, unnaturally still and in plain sight. And he had been sitting there for quite some time. It would be remiss of them not to at least enquire. 

"You are," Varric confirmed, following his gaze. 

Down below was the stable and he could see Holli with the stable boy and her horse, Sunchaser. It looked as if he were teaching her how to lead the creature. 

"So what's the problem?" Varric asked. 

"Emil wants to kiss Holli," he replied. 

Both Varric and Solas's eyebrows rose at the statement and they exchanged a look between them. 

"And Holli doesn't want him to?" Varric questioned.

"I don't know. I don't want him to."

Ah, teenage drama. Varric wasn't sure if the label could really apply to Cole, but he wasn't sure what else to call this. He knew the pair had become close, they really should have seen this coming. 

"Why don't you want him to?" Varric just wanted to be sure, ignoring the look Solas shot him. 

"Holli... Holli makes things brighter. Emil wants that for himself, it'll be brighter for him and I... I'll be left in the dark. I don't- I don't know how to say things right. Holli isn't a thing to be owned, and I don't want to own her I just..."

"You like Holli," Varric surmised. 

"Of course," Cole said.

"I mean as more than a friend."

"It isn't more or less. Just different."

True. "Those kinds of feelings don't always make sense. I assume it'll be even more difficult for you. I suppose we'll need to have a talk about the birds and the bees then."

"Holli already explained them to me," he said, resting his chin on his hand as he gazed down below.

This again caused their eyebrows to shoot up.

"She did?"

"Mm. Birds can fly because their bones are hollow, their wings are strong, and they have so many powerful muscles devoted to flying. She said they use something called the Bernoulli Principle, but I didn't really understand it. And bees can fly because of the unique way their wings flap, it lets them generate enough lift even though their bodies are so big for their wings. It does something to the air?"

Even though Solas had turned away, Varric caught the quiet amused chuckle on the wind. 

"The other birds and bees," Varric explained.

"I think the principle applies to all birds and bees," he said. "Holli never said it didn't."

"I'm talking about... relations between men and women, or men and men, or-"

"Do you mean sex?" Cole interrupted, looking at him curiously. 

"I do..."

"I already know about it."

Varric's eyes narrowed on the boy. "How do you already know about it?"

"From the Fade, some. There are memories and feelings there. And Rhys and Evangeline. It was a confusing thing at first. I didn't understand the why of it. I thought it was just about touching. But Rhys spoke about love too. A connection. It's not just about the body, it's about the heart. He smiled then, and he said 'You'll know when it happens,'" Cole said, turning from Varric and looking down at Holli, a faint smile gracing his lips. "It was like whispers. A small thing, so small I couldn't make sense of it, but it felt beautiful. When she looks at me, I feel more than just the world around me. It's like the sun breaking through the clouds and it touches everything and makes it... warmer, and brighter inside. When she's near, the world is less cold. And when she's close, I want to be closer. I don't want to be something that just watches her."

There was a long silence between the three men as Varric processed Cole's words. That sounded like a lot more than liking someone. 

Solas cleared his throat.

"You don't just watch her, Cole, you're her friend. A very dear one."

"And you protect her, kid. And I've seen the way you make her smile, and laugh. She obviously cares for you."

"And it feels right to care for her," Cole said.

"Whether she cares for you the way you want her to-" Solas began before Varric interrupted him.

"Is something you won't know until you talk to her about it. But she needs to grieve first."

Cole nodded his agreement. "I know. But I don't know if he does."

They looked down again where the stable boy was smiling charmingly, offering Holli an apple which she fed to the horse. 

"I'll have a chat with him," Varric said. "Now, I just want to make sure. You know how babies are made and Holli really doesn't need to be having any right now?"

Both Solas and Cole looked at him, Cole with a furrowed brow, and Solas in what was quite possibly disbelief at his bluntness.

"I know," Cole confirmed. 

Varric patted Cole on the shoulder. "Good boy. We'll leave you to your... activities."

Varric and Solas wandered off then, shooting a look towards each other. 

"I feel as if we may have overstepped," Solas mused.

"While simultaneously feeling like we should have done more?" Varric asked.

Solas nodded.

"We should probably keep a closer eye on that situation," Varric agreed.

"Cole should not be feeling such things as jealousy. It was bad enough the fear and anger in the Western Approach when she was taken. These dark emotions can irrevocably alter him," Solas said. "I am worried what will happen if this does not end the way he wants it to."

"I'm not," Varric said, noticing the sceptical look Solas gave him. "And my reasons are twofold. One: Holli likes him too, that's been obvious for a while. Two: I just don't think he's in any danger of becoming a demon. Too much human in him."

"I don't think he's that far gone from his spirithood yet," Solas disagreed. 

"Care to make a wager?" Varric graced him with his most charming smile.

"No!" Solas replied, disgusted he would even ask. 

-

"Holy shit!" Holli flinched to the side, the little wooden box shattering against the door she'd just entered through, barely missing her. 

She looked at Cullen, whose eyes were wide as he realised he had almost hit her. She took him in - the tremors in his hands, the sweat on his face, the flush to his skin, that look in his eyes... She had seen it a million times. 

"Withdrawals?" She asked softly, closing his office door behind her. 

His breath hitched and he averted his gaze. 

"Sorry," she said, coming to stand opposite him across his desk. "I heard you were trying to kick Lyrium."

"This is not something you need to concern yourself with," he muttered, his fingers digging into the wood of his desk. "Cassandra is aware and will step in if I can no longer..."

"I'm not concerned you won't be able to do your job," she shrugged a shoulder, taking a seat and folding her legs up under her. "My mum was an addict." She had never said it out loud to anyone before. "I mean, not like you, she just liked the high and hated reality. At least your reasons were... I don't know, like, meaningful maybe? Or maybe it wasn't even a choice, I don't really get your order. Former order. I spent so much time researching how to quit drugs. I was hoping if I could make it as easy for her as I could, she'd do it, you know?"

Holli twisted in her seat, leaning her head over one arm of the chair, and her legs over the other, staring up at the ceiling. 

"She tried a couple of times, but the withdrawals got too much for her." She looked over at him where he was watching her with a frown. "Are withdrawals for Lyrium the same as for normal drugs?"

"Not entirely," he ground out. 

"Nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea?"

He shook his head.

"Insomnia?"

He nodded. "Nightmares. And sometimes my memory is... subpar."

"Short-term memory?" She asked, recalling the few days she'd spent helping him and how quickly he could forget something. This would explain it.

He nodded. 

"Tremors," she noted. "Pain?"

"Headaches."

She perked up, sitting up a bit. "I can help with that," she said, reaching her hands across the desk. "Give me your hand."

He frowned but did so. 

"I used to do this for my mum," she said, firmly massaging a spot on his hand between his thumb and index finger.

It took a few moments but he felt the pain ease from his skull. 

"That- That isn't... magic," he said. He would have felt it if it were magic.

"No," she let out an amused huff. "It's just acupressure. There are points in our bodies, putting pressure on them can relieve pain. Different points for different pain. This one's a good one for headaches."

She let him go, dipping a finger into his ink pottle and daubing a drop on the point she had been working on. 

"That's the pressure point. When your headache starts again, just massage-" she demonstrated with her fingers how to do it "-that point and you'll be able to take care of it yourself. I know it's not much in the scheme of things, but hopefully, it helps a little."

He waved his hand to dry the ink quicker. "You are a fount of knowledge, Holiday Whitlock."

She smiled up at him, and he noticed it had lost some of its lustre since her return from the Western Approach, but at least it was still there. 

"What you said about your mother..." He started. "I'm sorry it was that way for you."

She gave a slow sort of nod. "I always hoped it would get better. That she'd... figure her shit out. I just - I was supposed to take care of her until then."

"You weren't. Parents are supposed to take care of their children. Not the other way around. At least not for a long time, not at your age. But it sounds to me like you were a good daughter."

"Really?" She asked, eyes wide.

He got the feeling it was something she'd never heard before. And likely needed to. "Yes. If I were to ever have a child, I'd hope they'd be a lot like you," he gave her a soft smile. 

"That's super nice. Thank you," she said, a tremor in her voice.

The door to his office opened and Rylen stood there, eyeing them both curiously. 

"I better go," she said, standing up from her seat.

"Wait, did you come here for something?" Cullen asked her.

"It can wait," she shrugged, scurrying out the other door. "See ya."

She had only been going to see if he could use a hand. She wasn't in the right frame of mind for the infirmary. And Master Harritt was still working on the bike between his other projects. 

Cullen's words had made her feel pretty damn good though. Her step was lighter, and she couldn't help smiling to herself. 

"Hello, Holli."

Holli looked up to see Cole sitting cross-legged on the wall. 

"Hey, Cole," she greeted, going to sit beside him. 

"Your mood is nice."

"Uh, yeah. Cullen said something nice. It made me feel a little better I guess. And how is your mood?"

"Better," he met her smile with a sweet one of his own. "Will you sit with me a while?"

"Of course," she agreed, lightly bumping her shoulder against his. "Want to guess pictures in the clouds?"

It was a nice day for it.