I Am Puss In Boots

Chapter with music, this time, a Shrek classic.

If you want to listen, you can start playing it right away. Just remember this song has a longer and a shorter version. If you consider yourself a slow reader, go for the longer one if you prefer—but I think the short one will do just fine:

Lipps Inc. – Funkytown

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[♪ Lipps Inc. – Funkytown ♪]

Puss was sitting atop Tornado's saddle as the horse trotted calmly, doing his best to look elegant.

A few beautiful white mares passed by, and the black horse winked at them charmingly.

As for Puss, he did the same to the pretty ladies on the street while admiring the scenery and architecture.

It was fun—a mix of modern and medieval.

Wide, clean streets with tall palm trees down the middle, in modern dividers.

Vendors on the sidewalks, popcorn carts, shop windows, beautiful mansions with metal gates and the owners' names above them.

Giant billboards atop buildings with advertisements—and one in particular caught Puss's eye.

_________________________

|______For All Your_______|

|_HAPPILY EVER AFTERS_|

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'Oh! That sign is already here? In the movies, I think it only shows up about ten years from now.' Puss analyzed, and a few ideas started to stir in his mind.

He looked a little longer at the image of the Fairy Godmother laying down charmingly on the billboard, tapping her wand against the words.

The wand moved back and forth, as if there were some mechanical system behind it.

'Maybe it really does have a simple mechanical system. Far Far Away is strange, and I wouldn't be surprised. But maybe it's just magic after all…'

Shaking his head, he looked at another billboard, not too far off:

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|_Keep Your Money in Your Claws_|

|____________Come to____________|

|______GOLDENCLAW BANK______|

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There were some money symbols and a golden claw.

Puss was amused by the little changes he had already caused in the world.

At the end of the road, climbing the mountain, was a beautiful castle, which Puss looked at with interest.

Pheeeep!

A loud whistle sounded, and Tornado came to a stop.

Puss leaned his body to the side, since he couldn't see past Tornado's large head.

That's when he saw a guard, clad in full silver armor, holding a modern red STOP sign—only instead of "STOP," it said "HALT," which amused Puss greatly.

He then shifted his gaze to the other side of the street, where another guard was letting carriage 'traffic' pass through.

"Hey, boss, how about a horse polish?" A voice came from the side, and Puss curiously turned to look at the man, holding a spray bottle and a squeegee, smiling at him.

Puss's mouth twitched, and he waved his paw.

"No, no es necesario." He declined and turned back to look forward—but all he could see was Tornado's head.

A bit of sweat began to trickle down his head as he felt the man's unblinking stare still fixed on him.

But just then, to his relief, the guard on the other side of the street raised the HALT sign, and the one in front of Puss lowered his, allowing Tornado to resume his elegant trot.

And he could hear a mutter from the horse valet:

"Cheapskate..."

With his mouth twitching again, he resumed his peaceful stroll through the streets.

He could almost hear Funkytown playing in the back of his mind as he walked, his tail swaying side to side in rhythm.

Walking a bit farther down the streets, he saw a stand that caught his interest.

"Fairy Tales! Get your copy! Cheap prices! Great for reading alone, with family, or to put kids to sleep! Don't wait—stock is running low!" A man in a chubby green dragon costume was managing the street stall that Puss eyed, shouting with a very familiar book in his hand.

Puss's mouth twitched again when he saw the piles of boxes beside the man, stacked high with books just like the one in his hand.

Unbothered, he guided Tornado toward the man.

"Oh! Hey boss, gonna take one? This is one of the last copies." the man asked with a smile, holding out the book.

'Last copies, my a—'

"Sí..." Before he could finish the thought, he replied, rolling his eyes.

"It's one silver coin!" the man said, extending his hand.

Puss didn't argue over the slightly inflated price—after all, books weren't cheap in this era. He pulled a coin from his boot and tossed it to the man.

The man caught it quickly and noticed the coin's mint was different from the kingdom's, leaving him slightly disappointed—but silver was silver, and he had already overcharged a bit anyway, so it wasn't a loss.

Biting the coin and seeing it was real metal, he handed the book to Puss.

Puss simply took the book and left without saying another word to the man.

Opening the book, which practically covered his small body as he rode on Tornado's back, he began to read.

"Once upon a time there was a lovely princess."

On the page, there was a blonde princess and a golden castle.

"But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by Love's first kiss."

Then, a chalice, with blue smoke rising and dotted with stars, and a red dragon behind it. On the other page, a drawing of the blonde princess floating with her eyes closed in a split scene—day on one side, night on the other.

"She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire breathing dragon."

On the next two pages, the red dragon circled around a gray castle.

"Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed."

This time there were guards fighting the dragon.

"She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss."

On one page, the princess lay sleeping; on the other, a knight knelt on one knee, holding flowers for her.

And finally, on the last page:

"The whole kingdom celebrated on their wedding day."

With a drawing of the two crowned at an altar, two angels above watching them and holding celebratory banners.

On the next page, there was already another story.

Puss closed the book and placed it in Tornado's saddlebag, intending to read more later, as his mind was now full of thoughts.

'I remember that theory saying this story was about the dragon, not Fiona. The blonde princess would turn into the dragon, and whenever the knights came to rescue her, they'd find the dragon instead of the princess and either flee or try to kill her, forcing her to fight back. Slowly, the years passed, and no one came to save her anymore… and then, slowly, she lived more as a dragon than as a human, until the spell could no longer be reversed and she eventually forgot her old identity, living as the dragon she had become…'

Puss pondered with a thoughtful look.

'Well, nonsense, I'm not sure I believe it. Still, it's a cool theory. Donkey is also quite likely to have been human before becoming a donkey, so you can't really rule these theories out.'

His eyes wandered over the attractions as he remembered things from the movies and theories from the internet.

'Haah… the internet, what a beautiful thing it was, I miss it…'

Shaking his head to get rid of useless thoughts, he pulled a map from Tornado's saddle and opened it.

On the map, there was a well-drawn depiction of the city, with a banner at the top that read "FAR FAR AWAY." There was also a red "X" marked on the city map.

He raised his head and looked at the streets, then spotted a good point of reference and lowered his head again to the map.

'I must be around here.' His claw traced the map, and he found the reference point— a place called Farbucks Coffee.

Lifting his head, he looked at the café, which was a parody of something from his previous life, but here it was just a normal café… well, as normal as a café could get in a medieval era.

'Crazy world.'

Amused in his thoughts, he headed toward his destination.

The magical blacksmith who would help him enchant the frog.

But then Tornado turned toward the café under his command.

'Well, that can wait… let's grab a coffee with leche first.'