I’m a Villainess, Can I Die?

Aaron rose from his seat.

It wasn’t because he found it difficult to watch his slumped friend… No, it was because his younger sister, staring blankly at the water’s edge, was making him uneasy.
Was the lake always this deep?
It was ridiculous to be thinking about such things even while out on a leisurely outing. Yet, thanks to an ingrained habit, he couldn’t suppress the creeping anxiety whenever Selina fixated on something like that.

One, two, three.
Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Aaron fixed his gaze on Selina’s frail back and spoke.
“Lukas.”

Damn. He had hoped his voice wouldn’t tremble, but no matter how hard he tried to suppress it, the slight tremor couldn’t be fully concealed.
Lukas turned his head to look at Aaron.
Seeing Aaron’s tightly clenched fists turning white, Lukas let out a quiet breath, closed his eyes briefly, and then opened them again.

He rose from his seat and stood beside Aaron.
“She looks fine. Don’t worry.”
His voice was as composed as ever.

As if he hadn’t been staring ahead with such an uncharacteristically vacant look just moments ago.
His usual relaxed tone suited him well.
Of course, the one speaking in such a casual manner was the very same person whose own heart was in complete disarray.

—
“Selina.”
As I stood in silence with Aiden, watching the people by the lakeshore, my brother came running toward me.

Oh dear, what’s with the sudden sprint? By the way, did the discussion over the fountain’s ownership finally end?
“Brother.”
Calling out to him with a tone that asked what’s wrong?, I saw a bright smile bloom on his face, momentarily dispelling the earlier shadow on his features.
He raised a hand and ruffled the back of my head before stepping to my side.

Specifically, wedging himself directly between me and Aiden.
I hesitated for a moment at his odd positioning, instinctively stepping back, but he simply smiled innocently, pretending as if he wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary, and stared out at the lake.
“Selina, look over there. They look like they’re having fun, don’t they?”

“They do look like they’re having fun.”
The answer didn’t come from me.
By the time I realized it, Lukas had somehow taken up the empty space on my other side.

Wait, what? I didn’t even notice him arriving…?
I was honestly impressed by his ability to move so silently and glanced up at him with a bit of admiration.
Lukas, as if expecting me to look at him, curved his eyes into a smile and met my gaze.

However, his focus soon shifted—not toward me, but just above my head.
“I didn’t realize there were two Selines.”
“…Brother, weren’t we supposed to be a loving pair of siblings?”

My brother let out a sigh at Lukas’s remark, but the knight, still smiling, responded nonchalantly.
Ah, this setup.
Something about it felt eerily familiar. Oh, right. That time at the chaotic party when plates and teacups were flying around.

That day, these two had used me as their debate table, chatting away over my head just like this.
Recalling that memory, I took a step back and slipped away from between them.
“Selina?”

“Selina?”
Both men, who had been staring at each other with electrifying intensity, simultaneously called my name. I raised my hands—just like I did back then—to signal that if they were going to fight, they should do it somewhere else.
Thankfully, the fight—well, it wasn’t exactly a fight, more like a friendly argument—ended right there.

Honestly, they were both past the age where this kind of thing should be happening.
Once the two fell silent, I finally delivered my stolen answer to my brother.
“Yes, they really do look like they’re having fun.”

They look like they’re having so much fun. So much so that it almost seems like a perfect painting.
So much fun that I can’t even imagine myself looking that happy.
The words left my mouth in a short, simple sentence, but my thoughts stretched on endlessly in my mind.

Even though I was only thinking to myself, everyone’s gazes remained on me until my internal murmuring came to a halt.
Feeling uneasy at their unexpected reactions, I darted my eyes around—only for my brother to suddenly turn his back on me.
Huh? What’s this about?

Before I could even form a proper question, he began walking purposefully toward the tented area where our parents were.
There was a certain unwavering determination in the way he carried himself.
The three of us left behind tilted our heads in confusion, watching his retreating figure.

Once he reached our parents, he said something to them. As they listened, they glanced toward me before rising from their seats.
Then, together with my brother, they started walking in my direction.
…What’s this?

This translation is the intellectual property of .
Smiling warmly, my family stopped in front of me.
When I lifted my gaze to meet theirs, my father—just as my brother had done earlier—lightly placed his large hand atop my head.

I’m not nine years old, you know. I’m nineteen.
Why does everyone feel the need to pat my head?
Still, his touch—gentle, as if he were handling something precious—wasn’t unpleasant, so I simply stared up at him in silence.

Eventually, the weight of his hand lifted, and his kind voice reached me.
“Why don’t we play in the water for a bit?”
“…What?”

Play in the water?
What on earth…? Ah, is this because I said those people looked like they were having fun earlier?
I turned to my brother, and sure enough, he was looking at me with a satisfied expression, as if my guess had been correct.

Oh no. How did such a simplistic interpretation arise?
This isn’t some elementary-level psychology test like ‘You like black bean noodles? You must be craving them right now!’
And besides… do nobles even do things like play in the water at a public lake?

Thinking about it rationally, that would be unheard of.
But then again, today was the last day of the Founding Festival’s grand ball.
Which meant that by now, most nobles would either already be at the ball or busy preparing for it.

In other words, most of the people here at the lake were likely commoners, and they wouldn’t be able to tell whether we were nobles or just wealthy commoners.
Well, in that case, I suppose I don’t need to worry about the whole ‘but we’re nobles’ dilemma.
No, wait. That’s not even the main issue here.

“Come on, ✧ NоvеIight ✧ (Original source) Selina. What do you think? It’s been a while since I dipped my feet in the water, too.”
While I was lost in my thoughts, my mother added her own input, her eyes sparkling with anticipation.
What should I do…?

As I pondered over my answer, I looked over my family’s faces once more—
And suddenly, I recalled the expressions they wore yesterday.
Even as they spoke with bright smiles, the shadows of exhaustion lay thick beneath their eyes.

They were better today, but once today passed, that shadow would only grow longer.
I slowly nodded.
Difficult days were bound to come, but at least for today, the one day we had come out to enjoy ourselves, we should have fun.

As soon as I nodded in agreement, my mother and brother each took hold of one of my arms and, with light steps, led me toward the lake.
I could feel my father, Aiden, and Lukas following behind.
It felt as if I had become a child again.

A child who knew nothing but how to play, one who wasn’t even aware that hardship and suffering existed in the world.
When we arrived at the lakeshore, my mother and brother finally let go of my arms.
I stared blankly at them as the warmth of their touch faded.

My mother was the first to step into the water, having lifted the hem of her dress.
My brother, having rolled up his trousers, followed after her, and soon the others who had come along with us waded in as well.
The summer lake water must have been to their liking because everyone had wide smiles on their faces.

As they chatted about how refreshing it was, they turned to me, still standing alone on the shore, and beckoned.
Come on. Join us.
It was strange.

The sight before me felt bizarre.
They were all smiling at me, calling me over, as if I were watching something on television.
Like a detached observer, left standing apart, watching the protagonists on the other side of the screen.

Every so often… or perhaps more often than that, I would feel this way.
Like I was Selina, yet at the same time, still an outsider.
It seemed today was one of those days.

I slowly raised my hands and rubbed my eyes.
If this was an illusion, it would disappear, wouldn’t it?
When I lowered my hands, my vision, which had blurred under the pressure, gradually cleared.

The people were still there, still calling to me.
The channel hadn’t changed.
There were things I had only realized after coming to this world.

Things I had slowly come to understand… or perhaps had abruptly recognized.
That my exhaustion, my numbness, my apathy, and my resignation were all things shaped by others.
That in my past life, none of it had ever truly been my will—not even the simple act of breathing.

It was only upon arriving in this peaceful world that I finally understood.
I had always known that I was merely walking the path my parents had set for me, but I had never realized that even the things I believed I had abandoned of my own will had still been held tightly in their grasp.
Now, as Selina, there was no one determining my future.

Everything in my life was my own will, my own decisions.
At first, having to walk a path I had chosen myself, rather than one laid out for me, had been terrifying.
But as I grew accustomed to even the unfamiliar, that fear had dulled. It was no longer terrifying—it had simply become an ordinary part of life.

An ordinary part of life.
And now, the choice I had made with my own will…
Was to walk toward the ones smiling at me, calling my name.

No matter how much the memories of my past clung to my ankles, no matter how much I felt like an outsider in my own body, I would keep moving forward, reaching out to them.
I took a step.
Lifting the hem of my dress and leaving my shoes behind, I walked.

And walked.
Toward the people waiting for me.
Standing precariously on the dividing line between my dark memories and the peace of my present, I crossed over.

The glaring sunlight made my eyes sting.
But I did not let my expression falter.
Looking back, it was this day.

The day closest to what Eunji had called happiness.
This day, precisely.
The sky was high.

The crisp breeze of this world tousled my hair, and droplets of water splashed against my skin.
Everyone was smiling, their laughter ceaseless.
And in the midst of it all, I found myself awkwardly lifting the corners of my lips.

The moment people saw my smile, their eyes widened in surprise.
Then, each of them showed a different expression.
Even that sight was oddly pleasant, and I remember trying to maintain my stiff smile just a little longer.

Ah… my life.
The happiest season of my life had passed by so peacefully.
I had forgotten that my happiness had always been followed by misfortune.

And so, without realizing…
That peace had already begun to slip away.