Just A Friend

#24

Kang Jihan just kept walking without answering. It was the same even when Nam Seonwoo stopped walking.

“Hey.”

The back view going down the stairs was rudely dismissive for the first time in a while. Seonwoo’s words came out sharply, incredulous.

“I waited for you. You’re the one who didn’t say anything.”

Nam Seonwoo hit Jihan’s shoulder hard as he passed him. He was annoyed that despite putting some force into the push, Jihan didn’t budge, and that he had to quicken his pace due to Jihan’s longer legs. As he was irritably opening his umbrella in front of the main entrance, he heard a voice from behind.

“Go home.”

As expected, it seemed Jihan wanted to have this talk at his house. That damn house, house, house. The previous Jihan was so reluctant to let him in, but this Jihan seemed desperate to invite him over for some reason.

“Yeah, I’m going home.”

Without even glancing at Jihan, Seonwoo stepped outside the building. The continuous downpour made the playground look hazy. Despite the umbrella, raindrops splashed all over his body, but Seonwoo kept walking forward without slowing down.

That’s when it happened.

“What the-!”

In an instant, his hand felt empty and rain started pouring on his head. The umbrella was rolling on the ground. He was too dumbfounded to speak. When he turned around in bewilderment, he saw Jihan’s face, unlike his own, completely dry. Under the black umbrella, Jihan’s expressionless face looked down at him.

It wasn’t worth asking why he did this. Seonwoo bent down to pick up the umbrella Jihan had thrown away. But Jihan was faster. Seonwoo watched blankly as his umbrella was kicked away. The transparent vinyl umbrella tumbled across the playground in tatters, mixed with dirt and dust.

“Are you going to go like that?”

…Right, he was always this kind of bastard. Gritting his teeth, Seonwoo looked up. Jihan, standing arrogantly under his umbrella, stared at him as if telling him to come under it. Even as raindrops hit his face and eyes like needles, Seonwoo glared back without blinking.

“How have you been living all this time, suppressing this temper?”

Despite his glare, Seonwoo’s voice was calm. Jihan’s expressionless face wavered slightly. Seonwoo sneered and muttered.

“The exams are over, so you’ve sucked out all the sweetness, is that it?”

Bastard. That bastard and this bastard, they were all the same in the end. It was better not to engage with him. Instead of going under Jihan’s umbrella, Seonwoo turned his back on him. But a strong grip on his shoulder immediately turned him back around.

“Sweetness?”

The raindrops no longer fell on his head, but water still dripped from his hair. Unlike the completely soaked Seonwoo, Jihan’s dry face was frowning. His expression, displeased that things weren’t going his way, was as transparent as his young age.

“While not even letting me taste it.”

“Fuck, what nonsense are you spouting? Let go.”

“There’s something I want to confirm.”

Jihan seemed to have decided to ignore Seonwoo’s words too. He lowered his gaze to the body struggling under his hand. The shirt, having lost its original color, revealed the white t-shirt underneath. And the t-shirt clinging to the body revealed the curves hidden beneath. These were curves Jihan was familiar with.

“What are you trying to do now?”

Seonwoo asked, grabbing Jihan’s collar, but the black eyes quietly stared at that arm. The arm revealed under the shirt was covered in droplets, just like before. Looking at the white forearm and reddish elbow as pale as the t-shirt, Jihan muttered.

“I was a bit confused.”

“What are you keep-“

“I don’t have such thoughts about other guys, but why with you…”

Seonwoo hesitated. He realized where Jihan’s gaze had stopped, and that it was the same place as yesterday. Under the blatant gaze fixed on his lips, Seonwoo unconsciously bit his lip. Jihan frowned.

“…It’s because of you.”

With an annoyed voice, Jihan lowered his head. Seonwoo couldn’t let go of Jihan’s collar and could only stare at the approaching face. His mind couldn’t keep up with the situation.

Just as he managed to blink, something touched his lips. It was a very careful contact, unlike the strong grip on his shoulder.

The lips that were gently resting on the contours gradually increased the area of contact. Seonwoo’s gaze, lost for direction, moved quickly, but the two eyes that had been piercing through him were now closed. Jihan remained like that, with his lips pressed against Seonwoo’s, holding his breath for a long time.

Tok, tok. The sound of rain filled the small space created by the umbrella. Thanks to that sound, he could tell that time hadn’t stopped.

It was the moment when a water droplet from his hair fell between their pressed lips. That’s when Seonwoo came to his senses and shoved Jihan away hard.

“W-what is this…”

His trembling fingers touched his lips in disbelief. Jihan, who had opened his eyes by now, quietly observed Seonwoo. He took in every detail, from the reddened face to the wandering eyes that couldn’t meet his gaze like before.

“You, what, what did you, why…”

Countless questions tangled in his mind, making it impossible to figure out what to address first. His mind went blank, and his lips could only open and close without making any sound. That’s why he couldn’t do anything, frozen, as a hand pulled down his fingers wandering over his lips and the distance closed again.

“Hey, wait…”

It was only when he could feel the breath from across that Seonwoo finally came to his senses.

“You… you… did you like guys?”

That was the question that finally came out. In fact, maybe that was the most puzzling thing. Their gazes intertwined at close range. Unlike Seonwoo, there was no sign of embarrassment or confusion in the searching gaze.

“What about you?”

Feeling as if those pitch-black eyes were seeing right through him, Seonwoo unconsciously avoided eye contact. As if trying to hide his already red face, his words became unnecessarily long.

“Of, of course I don’t like them. I’ve never even thought about liking guys in the first place…”

“Really?”

Below the face that looked like it might burst at any moment, even the neck down to the collarbone was dyed the same color. That color didn’t signify surprise, embarrassment, or disgust from an unexpected event. Jihan wrapped his hand, which had been gripping Seonwoo’s shoulder, around his nape and said,

“Then think about it again.”

And once more, their lips met.

This time, Jihan kept his eyes open, observing Seonwoo’s reaction. The round eyes widened in shock, the trembling eyelashes above them, the hands frozen instead of throwing a punch. His eyes quietly and quickly took in all these details.

Meanwhile, Seonwoo’s mind was endlessly repeating a certain scene as if it had malfunctioned. Amusingly, it was a scene from today’s dream. The image of himself cupping Jihan’s flushed face, drunk with alcohol, and pressing his lips against his. He couldn’t understand why it was now repeating in such a different form.

Why Jihan…?

He felt confused as he realized that the strange atmosphere from yesterday wasn’t his imagination and understood what Jihan’s current actions meant.

This doesn’t make sense. Why would Jihan like a guy, like me?

It’s not like we accidentally slept together, and I didn’t beg him to like me this time, so why?

…Since when?

But all those questions stopped abruptly as the pressed lips parted slightly. It was a tiny movement, like a butterfly flapping its wings, but the thing that appeared between the lips seemed to snap him back to reality.

When he swung his fist with all his might, the umbrella that had been shielding them from the rain flew away. As the monsoon rain beat down hard on his head, his mind finally seemed to start working again.

Jihan didn’t budge an inch. The fact that he only slightly turned his head to the side, as if he had expected it, made Seonwoo even angrier.

“…What does this mean?”

Why did you kiss me? When I was begging you to look at me, to like me, you didn’t even budge, so why are you suddenly pressing your lips against mine now?

“What the hell are you doing, you bastard?”

Seonwoo gritted his teeth as he tightened his grip on Jihan’s collar. There was a ripping sound as the collar tore, but neither Jihan nor Seonwoo paid any attention to it.

After a long while, Jihan opened his mouth.

“Hit me one more time.”

“What?”

After spitting out the blood that had pooled in his mouth, Jihan pulled on Seonwoo’s collar and said,

“Let me do it one more time.”

Seonwoo, who had been blankly staring at the movement of Jihan’s lips, only realized the sound they had made after a long moment. The words he was about to spit out, asking what nonsense Jihan was spouting, were swallowed up by Jihan.

“…!”

Despite pushing with all his might, unlike before, Jihan didn’t budge easily this time. The stubborn grip on his collar was almost suffocating. No matter how much he clawed, pinched, or hit that arm, it didn’t move. Was it because he had been treating him like a kid all this time? The overwhelming difference in strength and physique was disconcerting.

“You, crazy, bast-!”

When Seonwoo bit down hard on Jihan’s lip, unable to overpower him, Jihan let out a small groan. Just as Seonwoo tried to take advantage of that moment to separate their bodies, he lost his balance on the wet ground. His body tilted forward for an instant, and then he fell, as if tackling Jihan.