Konoha Ninja Shop System

"Extra! Extra! The Fifth Hokage of Konoha Village has been officially announced—and guess who it is..."

"Give me a copy!"

"I'll take one too!"

"No way... Shimura Danzō is the Fifth Hokage?!"

"Why would Tsunade give up the Hokage position?"

"She's now the gambling queen of the Land of Fire. She doesn't have time to run a village anymore!"

"You're kidding, right? How do you know that?"

"It's written right there—in the last line on page three of the newspaper!"

"Seriously? You can make millions just by gambling? If I were her, I wouldn't want to be Hokage either!"

As the newspapers sold out in a flash, a figure clad in a black cloak slipped into the shade of an alley—White Zetsu.

"Damn it, why do I have to sell newspapers now?" Ah Fei complained, clearly unhappy with his situation.

Once the second-in-command of the prestigious Ninja World All-In-One Service Co., Ltd., Ah Fei had enjoyed a cushy job. He would slack off during office hours, embezzle funds, and take bribes without anyone daring to question him.

But once Black Zetsu found out about his corrupt activities, it all came crashing down. Furious, Black Zetsu had thrown Ah Fei out of the office and demoted him to start from the bottom all over again.

And so, here he was—reduced to a common street vendor, peddling newspapers under the blazing sun.

"Master Ah Fei, please don't be upset. We believe you'll rise to the top again soon!"

"Yes, Lord Ah Fei! We'll all rise with you!"

Hearing the White Zetsu flatter him, Ah Fei couldn't help but puff out his chest, laughing confidently.

"That's right! When I return to the company, I'll promote all of you!"

The White Zetsu became visibly excited. If Ah Fei truly made his comeback, they would finally be able to ditch their exhausting newspaper-selling job.

Selling newspapers was both difficult and unrewarding. Even if they managed to sell out, the profits mostly went to the company. They were left with only a small share—barely enough to get by.

"Master Ah Fei, I want to be a customer service rep in the intelligence department! I heard those guys make hundreds of thousands just by closing one deal!"

"Seriously? The intelligence division makes that much?"

"Of course! I've got a friend in the department who made over 500,000 just from one private transaction!"

"Damn! I want to be in customer service too!"

"Me too, Lord Ah Fei! Please take me with you!"

"Same here, sir!"

Ah Fei grinned, soaking in the admiration. "Haha, joining the intelligence department? No problem!"

Once he got back into the company, placing a few of his underlings into key positions would be a piece of cake.

"Lord Ah Fei, you're amazing!"

"Long live Master Ah Fei!"

Just then, a rotund, middle-aged man with a receding hairline and extravagant clothing approached.

"Sorry, today's newspapers are sold out. Come back tomorrow," Ah Fei said automatically, assuming the man was a customer.

But the fat man shook his head with a flattering smile. "No, no, I'm not here for a newspaper. I came to buy information from you—dear White Zetsu."

Ah Fei's eyes lit up. He straightened up, immediately shifting into salesman mode. "Ah, you're here for intel? Excellent choice! You've come to the right place. Ninja World All-Knowing Service Co., Ltd. is the most informed organization in the ninja world. Whatever you want to know—we've got it!"

He pounded his chest confidently.

"That's right! And this man here is the second-in-command of the entire company—Lord Ah Fei!" White Zetsu chimed in proudly.

The fat man's face beamed with excitement. He hadn't expected that the scruffy White Zetsu before him was actually such a high-ranking officer. Maybe... the information he'd been searching for all these years was finally within reach!

He looked around at the bustling street, then leaned in closer. "Master Ah Fei, there are too many people here. Could we talk in private?"

Ah Fei nodded and instructed his subordinates, "Wait here. I'll be right back." With that, he followed the man toward a nearby hotel.

Soon, they arrived at a luxurious suite inside the capital city of the Fire Nation.

"Tell me what kind of information you're looking for, and I'll arrange for someone to get it," Ah Fei said, reclining casually on a plush chair.

The fat man hesitated. His face turned red, and he struggled to get the words out. After a long pause, he stammered, "Master Ah Fei... is there anything in this world that can... can..."

Seeing the man unable to finish his sentence, Ah Fei frowned impatiently. "Spit it out! What can it do? Just say it already!"

The fat man clenched his fists, then blurted out, "That can help... a man regain his masculinity!" The moment he finished, he bowed his head in shame.

"…Huh?" Ah Fei blinked in confusion. His mind was full of question marks.

What did that even mean—"regain masculinity"? Why would a man need to do that?

Ah Fei was, after all, a White Zetsu who enjoyed analyzing poop samples in his spare time. The concept completely eluded him.

"Um... what exactly does 'regaining masculinity' mean?" he asked curiously.

The fat man groaned and covered his face. "Oh, don't make me say it again, Master Ah Fei! It's embarrassing!"

Here was a middle-aged, balding man blushing and acting coy. Ah Fei shuddered from head to toe, feeling thoroughly uncomfortable.

Goosebumps appeared across his arms.

"Just be specific! I really don't get it," Ah Fei insisted.

The fat man realized Ah Fei was being sincere. After some hesitation, he explained, "Master Ah Fei, I'm a wealthy merchant. I've got plenty of money and multiple wives. But as I've aged... well, I'm no longer capable in... that department."

"I've tried all kinds of medicine and methods, but nothing works. I heard your company might have a special remedy... so I came to find out."

Ah Fei pretended to suddenly understand. "Oh! So it's that kind of problem!"

In truth, he still had no idea what the man was talking about. But Black Zetsu had once taught him a valuable lesson: when doing business, if someone gives you a complicated explanation and you don't understand it—just nod and act like you do.

It makes you look smart and discourages the other party from trying to swindle you.

The fat man's eye twitched. What was with that expression? If you understand, just say so. Why act like you've reached some grand enlightenment? It's humiliating!

"So... does your company have something like that?" the man asked, his eyes full of hope.

Ah Fei had no clue. But then, a name suddenly popped into his head. Peter.

If anyone had access to strange and rare items, it would be Peter.

With a confident smile, Ah Fei pounded his chest again. "Of course we do! But let me warn you, it's not going to be cheap."

He remembered Peter's prices and knew they were outrageous. Better to warn the customer now than risk him backing out later.

"Price is no issue!" the man declared excitedly. "I have everything—except time and energy! I just need results!"

Originally, he had come to the company on a whim after seeing their ad in the paper. But now, things were looking hopeful. He could hardly contain his joy.

"Wait here—I'll go get the item from our warehouse," Ah Fei said, then hurriedly left the hotel.

He raced toward the border of the Fire Nation, hoping to find Peter before the opportunity slipped through his fingers.

pàtreøn (Gk31)