Netkama Punch!!!

"How the hell did you know it was my birthday?"
Shin Heejae seemed to pick up on my silent wariness right away. He continued speaking in a gentle, coaxing voice.
"When you exchange contacts, the app notifies you. Says ‘your friend’s birthday is coming up’."

"……"
"It is your birthday, right? I’m pretty sure."
Only then did I recall that useless feature on the app and let out a breath in relief.

Thought he was stalking me ㅡㅡ
"It’s not stalking, it’s just being thoughtful."
Shin Heejae chuckled like he found me ridiculous, but all I could think was how excessive his behavior was.

Seriously, is it standard in online dating to check every little thing like this? I’m the kind of person who just gets drunk for my friends’ birthdays and calls it a day, so the idea of carefully picking out gifts like Heejae wanted to was totally foreign to me.
Also, I don’t get along well with my family, so it’s been years since I’ve celebrated anyone’s birthday around me…
"Wait a second. This bastard, don’t tell me…"

As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I figured out the real reason why Shin Heejae wanted to celebrate my birthday—and immediately rejected him.
Forget it, don’t bother.
"Why not?"

You’re just trying to weasel my address out of me.
I threw that out with suspicion, and annoyingly enough, Shin Heejae responded in a calm tone.
"Hmm… noona, you don’t have any friends, do you?"

It was the kind of tone that made it sound like he genuinely believed I was some socially stunted loser who couldn’t even handle a bit of kindness.
Of course, I snapped.
Wanna die?
"Seriously… is that the first thing you say to your boyfriend when he offers you a birthday present?"

"……"
"Can’t even celebrate your birthday when you’re dating someone?"
It’s not about you being my boyfriend. I just don’t trust you.

Shin Heejae paused at my firm response… and then asked me something totally out of the blue.
"Noona, have you ever dated online before?"
You out of your damn mind? Why would I ever do that?

"It’s just… you’re so on guard. I thought maybe you had a bad experience or something."
"……"
Online dating or whatever—this is all just because you’re the one doing it! But I couldn’t exactly say that out loud, so I stayed quiet.

After an awkward silence that didn’t even last five minutes, Heejae chirped up again cheerfully.
"Then how about I just send you a cake gift card? Let me know what flavor you like."
"……"

I couldn’t help but notice how he tried to change the subject to lighten my mood instead of pushing harder.
Honestly, if he’d just kept insisting he was right and gone full psycho trying to get my address, I could’ve just cursed him out and been done with it. But the way he backed off so easily… made me feel weirdly guilty. Like he really was getting all excited to celebrate my birthday or something…
Not that I had any reason to feel that way about Shin Heejae, of all people, but still…

Forget it… I haven’t even finished my chicken yet.
I’ll just take the sentiment…
So I finally responded, a bit softened, and Heejae chuckled. Then he murmured in this disgustingly sweet voice,

"Seyoung really doesn’t understand how men think… How could a boyfriend just ignore his girlfriend’s birthday?"
Goddammit, enough with the bullshit already.
"Seyoung, oppa broke his savings account for this, so don’t hold back, okay?"

You broke your savings for a cake, you moron? lol
"God, the way you keep calling yourself ‘oppa’ is seriously—"
Even while I had my mic muted and was swearing under my breath, Heejae was still giggling like a fool trying to sound cool.

He couldn’t hear a thing, so I cursed to my heart’s content… until I realized I was already five minutes late for lunch.
"This is all your fault!"
Ugh ㅡㅡ I’m five minutes late because of you

I fired off an angry rant in the chat while stomping down the stairs, and right then, Shin Heejae whispered slyly in my ear,
"Guess time just flies when you’re with me, huh?"
I couldn’t come up with a snappy comeback in time, so I just ignored him.

* * *
By the time I got my head on straight, it was already the end of the workday.
It was Friday, so there was talk of some of the civil servants going out for a group dinner, but no one invited me. Not because I was a ‘contract’ civil servant and they were discriminating or anything—I just never joined those gatherings from the beginning.

That was one thing I liked about this workplace. People didn’t pry even if you kept to yourself. There were exceptions, sure, but usually if you declined once, they didn’t ask again.
I’ve never been the type to get hung up on feeling left out, and this office had ➤ NоvеⅠight ➤ (Read more on our source) a lot of women, so I didn’t really have anyone I was close with anyway. This dry, distant environment actually suited me just fine.
I stood up from my seat without a care. A few people glanced my way, but I just gave them a small nod and walked off. Just as I expected, no one stopped me.

Except…
Heejae
Babeee u off work? ㅇ.ㅇ?
Just reading Shin Heejae’s message in the elevator gave me a pounding headache…

The guy had somehow tracked down my work hours and now had my entire schedule memorized—that was what pissed me off. I was scowling, trying to come up with the perfect insult to send back, when an unwelcome voice called out from behind.
"Seyoung, skipping the dinner again today?"
"Oh! Uh, yeah…"

"How do you dodge it every single time? I haven’t seen you join in once in the past year and a half."
It was Kim Namgu, a senior civil servant in the counseling office.
He was in his 40s, always wore a friendly face, but his personality didn’t mesh well with mine. Bit of a boomer, honestly. Most of the staff here didn’t care much about me, but guys like him were always weirdly invested in the younger employees.

Namgu in particular had been nice to me on my first day, but after I kept skipping dinners and dodging his personal questions, he started to treat me like a problem.
Luckily, my job was mainly outside consultations, so I didn’t have to deal with him much. But whenever I did, he always found a way to throw in a passive-aggressive jab.
‘Why the hell did I have to run into him here…’

And like always, I had nothing to say. So I kept my mouth shut. When I didn’t respond and just gave a vague expression, Namgu decided to poke harder.
"There’s a reason everyone finds you hard to approach."
"……"

"Even if we want to get to know you, we need a chance to talk."
Translation: why don’t you act more polite and friendly even though you’re the youngest?
I never knew what to say in moments like this. Even if I tried to fake something, no words would come to mind.

I mean, seriously. They say group dinners are optional, so why are you trying to drag me there? It’s not like the meat’s gonna taste worse without me there… well, I can guess the real reason.
‘They just want someone to serve them…’
Someone to grill the meat and laugh at their jokes.

But I don’t even like meat that much (I hate dishes that require work), I suck at grilling, and I’m not into drinking either.
So why the hell should I waste my evening just to kiss up to a bunch of middle-aged men and women? I already bite my tongue and tolerate enough nonsense during work hours. Isn’t that enough?
Anyway, I forced a stiff smile, hoping the whole “you can’t spit on a smiling face” thing would help. But unfortunately, the damn elevator was still stuck on B1. Should’ve just taken the stairs.

And on top of that, Namgu was clearly determined to keep blocking me today, so I tried making up an excuse.
"I, uh… I have plans."
"Who doesn’t? I’m busy too, you know. These dinners are part of work, don’t you get that? Kids these days…"

"……"
God, seriously…
I grumbled internally, but I knew it wouldn’t do me any good to make enemies with someone who was basically the boss of the center.

A bunch of other public workers had already been kicked out after getting on his bad side… I stared at the still-empty elevator and felt sick to my stomach at Namgu’s grating boomer talk.
"I actually have plans with… my boyfriend."
And just like that, I blurted it out without thinking.

As soon as I did, Kim Namgu looked at me with suspicion (of course). That classic ‘someone like you has a boyfriend?’ look.
But I bet my own face was something to see too. Because the second I realized what I’d said, I could practically hear Shin Heejae’s smug voice echoing in my head: ‘Aaaah~ Boyfriend~?’
My face burned hot with embarrassment. Why, of all excuses, did I say that?!

"Oh… really?"
"Yeah. So… I’ll be going. See you next week."
"Ahem, alright then… see you next week…"

And finally, the elevator arrived.
As the doors closed, I could already feel it in my bones—Namgu was going to go around bragging that I had a boyfriend the moment he got to the dinner.
But it was my slip-up, so what could I do?

"Haaah…"
This is all your fucking fault.
Heejae
ㅇ_ㅇ?

Die.
Of course, I didn’t forget to take it out on him. I mean, this was obviously his fault for blowing up my phone all the damn time.