Passion (BL Novel)

Shinru lowered his gaze and awkwardly smiled with a bright red face. Jeong Tae-ui followed suit with a similarly embarrassed expression and chuckled, "Hehe." The white fingers that held his hand were warm, and it felt nice. If they had been cold, that too would have been fine in its own way.
They stood facing each other, hands awkwardly clasped, and stood there silently for a long while. It wasn’t until Jeong Tae-ui felt a gaze that he lifted his head, and only then did they step apart.

The uncle, who had just opened the instructor’s office door, stood there quietly, watching them.
Jeong Tae-ui, peering over Shinru’s shoulder, met eyes with his uncle, who was silently observing them.
"......"

"......"
When their eyes met, the uncle slowly blinked a few times. Slowly, a subtle smile appeared on his expressionless face. Was it just a feeling, or did it seem like he was smiling with the thought of, Well, they're having fun...?
Jeong Tae-ui wanted to keep holding Shinru’s hand longer, out of sheer defiance, but he felt that if he stayed for much longer, his uncle would soon say, "Aren't you supposed to be in your morning session? How long are you going to stand there?" — and the vice-director would probably come out soon too. Regretfully, he released Shinru’s hand.

Fortunately, Shinru, who had not noticed his uncle’s subtle smile behind them, mumbled with a red face as he hesitated.
“Well, hyung, if the weather’s nice, then...”
"Yeah. It’ll be nice this weekend after the rain stops. We’ll go for a leisurely walk then," Jeong Tae-ui replied.

Shinru looked confused for a moment, then tilted his head, murmuring to himself, Did I misunderstand? before suddenly breaking into a bright smile.
“Yes, hyung. Then, I’ll see you this weekend.”
"Yeah. Alright. ...But, if we can meet before then, we can. Anyway, take care of yourself."

"Don’t worry, hyung. You too, be careful not to get hurt," Shinru said lovingly, then turned to leave. As he did, his uncle casually stepped back into the instructor’s office.
Once Shinru entered the office, his uncle came out again. He waved his hand at Jeong Tae-ui, who was standing alone in the corridor.
“Why aren’t you leaving? If you skip again, you’ll be rolling around in the instructor’s office all afternoon this time. Besides, you were supposed to be in Weapons Engineering class, right? McKinney’s the instructor for that. If you get caught by him, it’s going to be a headache for a while.”

Jeong Tae-ui, hearing his uncle’s words that he wouldn’t even last till the end of the league in fifteen days, muttered to himself, wondering if he’d even survive until then. But still, he wanted to stay alive until the weekend to walk with Shinru.
"By the way... Shinru..."
His uncle mumbled, as though lost in thought, then fell silent. The tone of his words felt strangely significant, and Jeong Tae-ui furrowed his brows slightly, tilting his head. His uncle, after staring at the ceiling for a moment, seemed lost in thought before finally waving his hand.

“I told you to go. You don’t listen when people offer advice kindly, huh? Among the guards, McKinney is the toughest to deal with. Even if your life is only good for another fifteen days, you can’t afford to be careless with tomorrow's apple tree planting.”
"......"
Jeong Tae-ui stared at his uncle resentfully, and his uncle suddenly smiled deeply.
“You’re going for a walk with Shinru this weekend? I hope the weather is nice.”

“...If the weather is bad, I’ll put on my raincoat and walk in the rain.”
Jeong Tae-ui muttered as he sulkily turned and walked toward the elevator. He could hear his uncle chuckling quietly behind him, thinking of something else as he said with a kind voice to his back:
“I’ll make sure to bring the book along, so don’t feel bad.”

As soon as Jeong Tae-ui looked at him, Morre grabbed him by the collar and cried out.
“My darling! How are you going to take responsibility for my cute little girl, you bastard!!”
The Colt, which he had stolen from Morre, was, of course, confiscated by his uncle and was now quietly sitting in the evidence locker. The explanation given was that it would eventually be returned when this branch was closed.

Jeong Tae-ui thought his uncle must have suspected who the true owner of the Colt was, as he smiled meaningfully and slowly said, “Say hi to the guy sharing the room with you too.” He thought the poor fellows who had such a superior in charge must be pitiful.
“Well, losing a Colt for saving a life is a light price to pay.”
“Oh, that was Morre’s? No wonder. It seemed strange for Tae-gi, who doesn’t even have any luggage, to have something like that.”

“Don’t cry, don’t cry. I’ll get you a new one the next time I’m in Hong Kong. I know a reliable fence. A Colt’s easy to find.”
The colleagues around Morre spoke up one by one. As they sighed about how useless it was, Jeong Tae-ui scratched his head and mumbled.
“I don’t know any fences... How about a one-year subscription to a puzzle magazine instead?”

Then, Morre exploded in a burst of rage, charging at him. Jeong Tae-ui slowly backed away behind his colleagues.
Even though the situation was urgent, he had no words to say because he had recklessly stolen someone else's belongings and even discarded them. Another grim matter had emerged for the next fifteen days.
After belatedly entering the Weapons Engineering lecture, Jeong Tae-ui was immediately called over by the instructor after class, receiving both sharp and scolding remarks. When he finally got away from the instructor, the lunch break had long passed.

By the time he trudged to the cafeteria, feeling mentally and physically drained as though thousands of years had passed in such a short time, the doors were, of course, firmly shut. Seeing the red sign that said "Closed due to an accident," Jeong Tae-ui felt guilty, even though it wasn’t his fault. He quickly noticed the smaller text beneath it: "The Third Self-study Reading Room is temporarily being used as a cafeteria until recovery is complete," and hastily left the area.
When he entered the self-study reading room, his colleagues, who had already finished eating and were chatting, greeted him. Of course, there were also European branch members present, so the atmosphere was still tense, just like in the morning. However, considering that the cafeteria had been destroyed earlier, no one seemed interested in causing trouble until lunch.
As Jeong Tae-ui entered the self-study room, he instinctively looked around quickly. He didn’t want to accidentally run into any faces he didn’t want to see. Even though they would eventually face each other during joint training, he still tried his best to avoid them.

Fortunately, the face he found unpleasant was not there. Instead, his colleagues greeted him with cheers and loud shouts. The words describing him ranged from brave, crazy, and loyal, to a few others. Of course, there was also a lament mixed in. You little thief who took away my darling.
Jeong Tae-ui barely managed to get two slices of bread and a carton of milk from the improvised temporary cafeteria, where there was hardly anything decent left to eat. He chewed them slowly while listening to his colleagues' chatter.
For the next fifteen days, the regular schedule would consist of general lectures in the morning and special lectures or training in the afternoon. In other words, the real combat would begin in the afternoon.

However, there was no way that almost a hundred people could all train at once.
“So, how are we going to split the people for the training?”
Chewing on his bread, Jeong Tae-ui asked, and Qing explained.

“Just like always. We’ll split into six teams, with about fifteen in each team. Of course, half will be from our side, half from the European side, but they’ll rotate randomly so we’ll train with different teams each time.”
Jeong Tae-ui recalled the unfamiliar faces he saw in the Weapons Engineering lecture. He started mentally going through them one by one.
“If it’s random... does that mean there’s a chance I won’t have to meet with certain people during the next fifteen days?”

Hoping for even a slim chance, Jeong Tae-ui asked, and Qing shook his head. He then looked at him with an understanding, pitying look.
“Well, with some luck, you might meet fewer of certain people. But that’s just less. You’ll inevitably train with them at least once.”
“Right, right. Even if not, we’ll all have survival training at the same time on the weekend.”

Suddenly, a colleague who was mumbling to himself grabbed Jeong Tae-ui’s hand tightly.
“During the survival training, everyone participates without anyone skipping, so there’ll be another chance. A chance to send that bastard to his grave for sure.”
“...That sounded like you’re saying I’ll definitely be the one going to my grave.”

Jeong Tae-ui put down the bread, his appetite gone. He forced the food down with milk, but it stuck in his throat and didn’t go down smoothly. His digestion wasn’t going to be good at all.
Then suddenly, Jeong Tae-ui mumbled, "Huh?" He stared at the bread in his hand for a long time and tilted his head.
“Wait, weekend? ...What kind of training is that on the weekend? I’m supposed to rest. Wasn’t it free time from 5 PM Friday until Sunday?”

Jeong Tae-ui asked, drawing a line across his face, and a colleague sitting next to him looked at him, confused.
“Didn’t you hear? During the joint training period, we can’t leave the island.”
“What do you mean? There’s no rest for the next fifteen days. It’s just going to be continuous training. Actually, it’s better because we only train during the regular hours on weekdays. But on weekends, starting from Saturday afternoon until Sunday noon, they release us into the forest for survival training. We’ll have to risk our lives.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Then what about my walk!”
Jeong Tae-ui’s face hardened as he hit the table and shouted. The milk splashed and soaked the table.
His colleagues stared at him in confusion, not understanding what was going on.

 
“What walk? What do you mean by walk?”
His colleagues asked, one by one, looking confused, but Jeong Tae-ui couldn't respond and stood there frozen, in disbelief.

Training on the weekend? This was news to him. Apparently, his colleagues thought it was so obvious that no one had bothered to mention it. Even his uncle hadn’t told him that there would be no holidays during the joint training period.
── I hope the weather is nice.
Suddenly, the words his uncle had said earlier came to Jeong Tae-ui’s mind. Before that, Shinru had muttered to himself, Did I misunderstand?

“Damn… So this is what it was.”
Jeong Tae-ui suddenly lost all energy and collapsed onto the table with a sigh. The resolve he’d had, vowing to survive until the weekend to walk with Shinru, felt completely hollow now.
“Hey, why are you crying? I get it, I get it. I don't want to do survival training either.”

“Hmm. If I die, it’s probably going to happen then... If there’s anyone I want to get rid of, that’s probably the best time to do it.”
Dark, hopeless words were exchanged above Jeong Tae-ui’s head as he lay on the table.
Just a moment ago, even in despair, there had been a flicker of hope, a reason to hold on, but now that hope was gone. All that was left was despair.

Seeing Jeong Tae-ui slumped on the table, exhausted, To-u gently patted his shoulder, as if to say, I understand.
“It’s alright, it’s alright. We’re here. Do you really think we’ll just watch you die in front of us?”
“Yeah. When you’re in danger, I’ll take the Colt from Morre and shoot him for you.”

Morre, shouting for them to stop with the jokes, was pushed aside, but the others spoke one by one, offering their support. However, their words weren’t comforting in the least—they only made the grim future ahead seem more certain.
“Cheer up, Tae-ui. You can’t let yourself fall apart like this already. In the afternoon, the real bloodbath begins.”
“Ah, right. Let’s get this body moving. It’s been a while since I’ve hit a human punching bag.”

Suddenly, the voices around them grew louder. The European branch members, who had been chatting noisily, started yelling at each other.
“Learn how to fight before you start acting tough. You’ll be crying the moment you get hit.”
“Do you only teach people how to fight with words in the Asian branch? Even that’s terrible.”

Here we go again. With a heavy heart, Jeong Tae-ui lay on the table, turning his attention to the commotion. The two voices shouting insults grew closer, their voices growing louder.
Jeong Tae-ui looked up with a gloomy face. Everyone had turned to face the European branch members, shouting insults and curses. From the other side, the sounds of the exchange were growing just as loud. Behind the wall of colleagues, Jeong Tae-ui, looking tired, turned to Morre, sitting behind him, and asked with a tired expression.
“So, for the next fifteen days, it’s going to be like today, isn’t it?”

“Well, today’s not as bad since we haven’t seen each other in a while. But as time passes, things will get worse.”
Morre answered while still glaring at Jeong Tae-ui, but he still muttered in reply. Jeong Tae-ui murmured sadly.
“And in the afternoon, we’re going to start fighting with those guys.”

“Yeah. Today is free-form sparring—boxing, judo, jujutsu, kendo, whatever. Just pick two and follow the rules, and the rest is free-for-all.”
“What’s that? If all the rules of each martial art are allowed, there are no real restrictions. What kind of sparring is that? It’s just a fight.”
“Well, it’s pretty much just a street fight. If we had proper, strict rules, there wouldn’t be all this animosity.”

“But still, it’s similar to training with other branches, right? Why is it only like this with the Europeans?”
“Well, I can’t say anything since this is my first joint training with the European branch, but you’ll probably figure it out as you get punched by them during training.”
“......”

Jeong Tae-ui had never experienced the chaos between the European and Asian branches, but he had some experience with other branches. He realized that Morre was better at reading the situation than him.
With only the two of them remaining behind, the fight between their colleagues and the European branch members grew more intense. At first, insults and slanders flew across the makeshift table, but soon, as the two groups closed in, the intensity of their words grew, and before long, spoons and forks were being thrown at each other. It seemed like, with just a few more inches, they would grab each other by the collars and dive into full-blown fighting.
Rather than getting caught up in that fight, Jeong Tae-ui wished he could slip away quietly, even if it meant being called a traitor. But the way to the door was blocked, and he couldn’t escape. There were no windows at the back to slip out of either.

Even though the fight was still manageable, he sighed, wondering just how much worse it would get. He rolled up his sleeves. I have no choice. If they start fighting, he’d have to pretend to help and then slip away as soon as possible.
Just as Jeong Tae-ui had made up his mind to join the fight and slip out, an unexpected voice reached him from the commotion.
“You bastards, not only did you destroy the cafeteria, but now you’re going to ruin this place too?! Don’t you want to eat?! If you don’t want to starve, go outside and fight, you little shits! And pay for the broken tables, chairs, and equipment, you bastards!”

The person in charge of cleaning the leftover food, who had been silently picking up the trash, exploded when a pair of chopsticks thrown by someone hit him. He started furiously banging the ladle on the dish tray, venting his anger. If he hadn’t exploded like this, the fight would have escalated to a physical brawl within minutes.
Even more than the branch manager or the head of the main office, the staff who handled the meals were the ones they feared the most. They immediately quieted down and muttered, “We’ll see you in the afternoon sparring. When the time comes, we’ll beat you so hard that your tears will flow, you little bastards.”
Most of those who said, “We’ll beat you so hard your tears will flow” kept their word. As the sparring bell rang, the people lined up in order, glaring at each other as if they were going to devour each other before the start. As soon as the signal was given, they rushed at their designated opponents. And they truly fought as if they were fighting to the death. In the end, everyone succeeded in beating their opponents so hard that tears and blood were spilled.

In other words, they all got beaten.
Jeong Tae-ui, who was in the later group, was completely exhausted as he watched his colleagues and the European opponents, one by one, crawl out while bleeding. He was completely disillusioned by the situation.
“Is everyone insane?”

Jeong Tae-ui muttered, rubbing his chin seriously, and Yi Wen-ho, who was standing behind him in line, nodded gravely.
“Exactly. For people like them, a stick is the only medicine. Giving them a good beating like this is good for them too. Otherwise, how would they learn?”
“......”

 
Always acting lively and refreshingly, Jeong Tae-ui thought he was somewhat normal, but it turns out he’s also gone mad... It wasn’t that the person was bad, it was that this guy’s neighborhood had bad water. It was a society that encouraged drinking.
Jeong Tae-ui looked at Wen-ho for a moment with a sense of pity before turning his head away. Even now, two men in front of him were wrestling like dogs, biting and tearing at each other. The instructor seemed to be watching only to make sure they didn’t break the rules of their chosen martial arts styles, regardless of the blood soaking the floor. When one of them showed signs of defeat or when it became obvious that a winner had emerged, the instructor would step in and stop the fight.

The infirmary was going to be a disaster today. There weren’t enough beds to accommodate everyone, and considering the state they were in, it seemed that if they were laid side by side in the infirmary, they’d continue to throw things and fight even while lying down. The medical supplies would run out.
Jeong Tae-ui wondered to himself, What exactly is supposed to improve from all this fighting? Is there really a need for such joint training? But as the sparring continued, he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind.
After each round of sparring, the instructor would point out useful points from the previous match. For example, how the opponent raised their right leg to a near right angle when blocking after a swing from the left arm—listening to him was not only surprising but creepy, as the instructor remembered and observed everything with eerie precision. Even when the recorded video was replayed, the instructor’s words were always spot-on.

What was also astonishing was that, during the sparring, even the men who seemed to be just shouting and cheering mindlessly around the ring had a keen understanding of what moves influenced the outcome of the fight, as well as each fighter's strengths and weaknesses.
The fight may have been chaotic, but to the onlookers, it was excellent material for study. And the onlookers were highly capable of analyzing that material.
Jeong Tae-ui scratched the back of his neck and muttered to himself. Yeah, I know it's a rare thing to feel like this, but even these crazy guys are considered elite outside. The colleague who had just been beaten up, dragged out covered in blood after being pummeled, was someone who had been given special permission for two years of job training at the branch under the guise of studying. Many others came under similar arrangements from other public organizations to develop themselves further through training.

...How is it that these well-regarded guys are willing to risk their lives for something so trivial?
Jeong Tae-ui shook his head and sighed.
“Don’t sigh. You’re not going to die. I can’t tell you to just surrender... If it comes to it, you can just faint and get carried out. But before that, at least land one solid hit on that bastard.”

Wen-ho, standing behind him, grabbed Jeong Tae-ui’s shoulder firmly. It seemed like he misunderstood Jeong Tae-ui’s feelings. When Jeong Tae-ui sighed, Wen-ho probably thought that he was nervous because his turn was coming up.
Jeong Tae-ui thought, It’s true I don’t want to get beaten and that I’m anxious, but he still looked over at his opponent. He sized up the man who would be sparring with him.
The guy looked solid. It would have been nice if he had looked like a tough guy on the outside but was actually ridiculously weak, but his muscles were clearly the product of real combat experience, not something from a gym. His eyes and expressions were calm and collected.

He was obviously one of the stronger ones in the group... Damn, I’m just really unlucky.
After finishing the previous round of sparring and listening to the instructor’s recap and the group discussion, Jeong Tae-ui’s name was finally called, and he stood up with a sour feeling in his stomach.
“Come back victorious!”

“Crush him, crush him!!”
“I believe in you! Master of trickery!!”
Any of the cheers around him sounded unenthusiastic. The best one was “win,” but Jeong Tae-ui had no confidence in meeting that expectation.

While he had no confidence in winning, he was confident in reading people. Jeong Tae-ui bitterly thought as he stood in front of his opponent. He couldn’t defeat that man.
In that case, the best strategy was clear.
“The best bet is to get hit less painfully.”

Jeong Tae-ui muttered to himself and gathered his resolve. The instructor gave the signal to start, and Jeong Tae-ui clashed with his opponent.
The man before him was someone who had methodically learned various martial arts and had solid techniques. Additionally, he was adaptable and skillful. Facing someone like that head-on, winning would be almost impossible. Even surviving would be tough. Avoiding was the best strategy.
But in this situation, where avoiding was impossible, the only choice was to try to get hit less painfully.

If there was one thing Jeong Tae-ui was better at than others in a fight, it was taking hits less painfully.
It was a survival skill mixed with a few tricks, and it had been incredibly useful in the military as well. There were a few methods, but the simplest one Jeong Tae-ui used was to get in close when the opponent threw a punch and then, at the moment of impact, retreat slightly. It was a technique that would be ridiculed by others, but if used properly, it was incredibly effective.
But even so...

“It’s not painless, damn it.”
It wasn’t just a couple of punches, but a barrage of blows. Of course it hurt. Even when he was trying to minimize the pain, it wasn’t like the pain was halved or barely noticeable.
Every time he got hit, he’d sneak in a couple of punches or kicks when he saw an opportunity, all the while thinking to himself, This hurts like hell.

However, his opponent didn’t seem pleased by the awkward punches. His expression grew more twisted as he took a few light blows.
Looking at that face, Jeong Tae-ui knew that if he took a real hit now, he’d definitely be carried to the infirmary.
Just as Jeong Tae-ui thought that, his opponent, now clearly frustrated, threw a punch straight at his face. For a moment, Jeong Tae-ui considered letting himself get hit and just collapsing, but the punch came so quickly that he didn’t have a chance to dodge and was hit squarely.

“Ugh…”
He couldn’t even scream properly. The moment he was hit, Jeong Tae-ui realized that he had really been avoiding pain up until now. The pain was so intense that he felt like his insides might come out of his mouth. But at the same time, he thought to himself, Well, at least it's over, and collapsed onto the ground.
He desperately wanted to end it there, and the pain was so intense he could barely stay on his feet.

As Jeong Tae-ui lay there, thinking I’m done, his opponent seemed even more frustrated. He had wanted a satisfying match, but seeing his opponent already lying down, his anger didn’t seem to subside. Seeing that expression, Jeong Tae-ui, despite his pain, gave a bitter smile.
Damn you, you bastard. I took all these hits, how many more do you want me to take?
Perhaps that meaning reached his opponent, as more rage appeared on his face, but the instructor had already given the stop signal. The man, still dissatisfied, exhaled sharply and stepped back.

Jeong Tae-ui, lying down, hoped someone would come and carry him out, but all he got was cold words telling him not to whine and to make room for Wen-ho.
“Tch, you useless bastards,” he muttered, slowly getting up.
Wen-ho, who had come out last, was, as expected, ruthlessly beaten, but he also gave as good as he got. After an extended period, he was dragged out, and it was already past the regular hours.

Although the sparring didn’t last long for each person, the discussion and analysis afterward by the instructor and the group took much longer, so despite only having around 7 or 8 rounds, the time had stretched quite long.
Even though they were hurling insults and taunts at each other, by the time the day's schedule ended, the fatigue was evident on everyone’s faces. Watching and analyzing others was tiring enough, but having to fight yourself in between only made it worse.
Jeong Tae-ui, too, after the instructor announced the end of the day’s training, collapsed onto the desk. His colleagues, back to their usual bickering, were starting another fight, but Jeong Tae-ui, whether now or before, had no intention or energy to stop them.

After a while, To-u, who had been shouting in the background, came over, gulping down water.
“You got beaten up pretty badly earlier, huh? You’re all worn out, huh? Go to your room and get some sleep.”
“You look like you’ve been covered in blood from head to toe, but now you’re fine.”

“What am I supposed to do? Even the stone Buddha they were lying on would spring to life after those bastards.”
Jeong Tae-ui kept his mouth shut. It seemed like that was the wisest course of action here.
Like at lunch, they continued to argue, raising their voices. It was the end of the training, and their bodies were exhausted from the strain. If it weren’t for the fatigue, they would have been rolling on the floor, grabbing each other by the collars, covered in blood.

Jeong Tae-ui, slowly rising, turned around and walked toward the door. Wen-ho, still wiping the blood dripping from his forehead, asked, noticing him leaving.
“Where are you going?”
Jeong Tae-ui, looking at him wearily, answered with an even more tired voice.

“I’m going to get punished for violating the personal weapon possession ban within the branch.”
“What? Didn’t you already get called to the instructor’s office earlier?”
“Apparently, it’s not that simple... I’m being asked to handwrite ten copies of the UNHRDO regulations manual.”

“Handwrite...? ...Should I help?”
“If the handwriting’s different, I’ll have to write ten more, and the person who helps will have to write ten more too.”
“Hmm... alright. Hang in there. I’ll support you in spirit.”

Jeong Tae-ui waved his hand lightly while receiving Wen-ho’s pitying gaze and left the sparring room.
He desperately wanted to return to his room and collapse onto the bed, but his uncle had kindly given him a deadline for submitting the handwritten copies of the regulations. Three days from now, by morning. He’d have to give up all his break times.
It wasn’t hard to find the UNHRDO regulations manual. There was a special shelf for books related to it next to the door, so he «N.o.v.e.l.i.g.h.t» didn’t need to search through the library shelves.

Jeong Tae-ui sighed as he pulled out a notebook-sized book. It wasn’t too thick, just the size of a notebook. It wasn’t difficult to copy by hand, but when he opened it, the tiny, densely packed writing made him sigh once more.
Three days until morning. At least he was glad there would be time to sleep. He’d have to carry it with him during lunch and break times, but at least he could finish it while still getting some rest.
As he fanned the book, Jeong Tae-ui turned to head to the checkout desk. But just as he was about to turn around, a phrase on the side of the bookshelf caught his eye.

“No lending allowed.”
“What is this?”