Passion (BL Novel)

That Saturday morning, they called it the "Crocodile Tears."
For the whole week, day and night, they had been burdened with tasks—forced to stay alert and tense, even when off-duty, their minds sharp. They couldn’t rest on weekends either.

Normally, from Friday evening until Sunday evening, they had free time for outings. But that Saturday, they couldn’t go outside without permission, let alone leave the designated areas. The training started again from the afternoon.
At least they were given a break on Saturday morning, to conserve their energy, but they had been exhausted by the relentless schedule until Friday night. Their instructor, pretending to be merciful, said, "Rest in the morning, and we'll gather in the afternoon," which made them grit their teeth in frustration.
"If we start the training in the afternoon, do you think we could pretend to make a mistake and just tear the instructors’ throats out?"
"To tear their throats out, we'd have to take on the instructors and their assistants... Do you think you could handle both of them at once?"
"Good point. How about we form teams? I'll take the instructor, you take the assistant."
"That sounds like a plan. Which instructor should we target?"
"Obviously, the European instructors!"

Lying on mats in the free sparring room, not doing any exercise, but just lazily sprawled out, the men spent their time chatting idly.
They had three hours until assembly time. "In two hours, we'll have to gather. Only an hour left to rest," they grumbled, glancing at the clock.
Jung Tae-eui was curled up with his knees drawn to his chest, watching them with a look of confusion.

He would have preferred to lie down comfortably in his room, reading a book or solving puzzles, something he picked up while living with Mororang—but with Tow dragging him here, his plans were ruined.
He guessed similar conversations were happening among the European branch members sitting off to the side. Jung Tae-eui studied them, one by one, with a perplexed look.
When Jung Tae-eui sighed quietly, Wen Ho, who had been rolling around on the floor next to him, asked why. Jung Tae-eui, thinking for a moment, said seriously,
"Just a sudden thought. When people hear about UNHRDO, they think it's an organization full of brilliant talent. But then, when I see these guys as UNHRDO members... Like Carlo, over there, sticking his hand in his trunks and scratching his crotch, or Tow, who's been nervously fidgeting since morning because he ran out of cigarettes and looks like a junkie, or the hardcore fan still crying over Ma Yeom Bang's photo at night, asking why she died and left him behind—people outside would be shocked."

"Yeah... when I listen to you, it does seem kind of serious, our branch."
"But it's not just us. It looks like the other side is no better. That makes me feel a little reassured."
Jung Tae-eui gestured toward the group of European branch members gathered at the far side of the room. They were similarly making a mess. Some were playing "Barbary Man" and others had been stomped on in their sleep, waking up and beating up the wrong people. Even in one corner, there were some messing with a deck of Hwa-tu cards—not even a regular deck of cards.

He remembered what his uncle had said: once you're here, you won’t need to worry about finding a job. You'd just have to decide where to go.
It was unbelievable that such people were sent out as "talent" to deceive countless companies for money... This was practically a scam. Jung Tae-eui stared at them with cold eyes before turning his head.
But then, thinking about it, those guys were at least better than some. Although awkward, from an employer's standpoint, as long as they didn’t cause trouble and did the job well, they would be considered successful. The real issue was when employers couldn’t even control their people, and those people had major personal flaws.

For example...
Jung Tae-eui started to think but quickly shook his head. He almost started thinking about someone who would do no good to think about. If he kept thinking about such people, it would only make him dark inside.
"Ah—looks like the break is almost over. It's about time to go. The next round of running around is coming soon. Ugh, I really need a smoke before things get started."

Tow, pacing restlessly, plopped down next to Jung Tae-eui and spoke like a future opium addict. Jung Tae-eui looked at him pitifully, as Tow chewed on a match in place of a cigarette.
"Does it taste like tobacco if you chew that?"
"Do you think it does? Ugh... Just one cigarette, I don’t even need a whole one. Just a leftover butt would be good. I’d take just one puff."
If Jung Tae-eui mentioned that he had snatched a cigarette from Tow before but discarded it without even smoking it, he'd probably get beaten to death. A guilty feeling surged within him.

"Do you think anyone from the European branch has cigarettes? Hey, if you smell smoke during training, let me know later. I'll just grab that person and snatch their cigarette."
It was becoming clear how blackmail and extortion worked within the branch. Jung Tae-eui turned his head away, glancing at Tow with pity. He'd need to buy some nicotine-free cigarettes for him later.
Jung Tae-eui scratched his head and looked at the clock. It was almost time for assembly, just an hour away. He stretched his neck and casually asked,
"So, about pretending to make a mistake and then taking down the instructor's neck, can we actually do that?"

"Hmm, it's basically free sparring. You’re new, right? The rules are simple. If you grab them, just hit them. Of course, if you get grabbed, you get hit. If you don’t want to get hit, you just slip away and run. We split the time into two halves, with one side chasing and the other running. The one running must defend, and the attackers can only strike if they’re trying to catch someone who’s running away. That’s all. The rules are simple, but that’s why accidents happen. Technically, you can counter-attack if someone is attacking you, so it can quickly turn into a wild fight."
"What’s that? So I just hide in the corner until time runs out?"
"If you hide and get caught, you'll probably get beaten to death. It’s better to just run. I mean, if you’re confident you can hide, you could, but the space is limited."

Jung Tae-eui stared at Tow, who was giving the explanation, in disbelief. He wasn’t sure if this was really training, but the serious expressions on Tow and the others seemed to indicate they took it seriously.
"No joke, be careful. If you underestimate it, it could really turn into a big problem."
Carlo, lying a little further away, muttered those words. Jung Tae-eui glanced at him.

It seemed like Carlo’s words made sense. Indeed, when the rules are simple, the game inevitably becomes dangerous. Besides, the rules themselves sounded risky. Either you run or catch someone running and beat them up.
"If I can’t escape and get caught, I could get killed."
Jung Tae-eui clicked his tongue and muttered. Half-joking, but Chin, with a serious face, nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, that’s possible. And depending on where you get hit, you might not make it. And... you, especially, should be more careful. You’ve made an enemy of the worst guy."
"..."
Jung Tae-eui could tell who that "worst guy" was without asking. The man who said yesterday that he didn’t want to fight, but today might be different. That man seemed to live according to his mood.

"You should be careful because there are people who, during this time, take the chance to do something bad to someone they don’t like. Not just us, sometimes even team members will use this opportunity to get revenge. It’s brutal."
Chin clicked his tongue, and Alta, who was nearby, spoke up, "On the other hand, if there’s someone you’ve been wanting to get back at, this is the perfect chance."
Jung Tae-eui momentarily meditated on that unknown target of Alta’s hatred.

It had been almost a week of training, and yet, he still couldn’t fully grasp the brutal and vicious atmosphere here. Every day, people were injured and carried away due to accidents. Some were already dead. Things that defied common sense were happening here without anyone batting an eye.
"In six months, we need to get out of here. Otherwise, we’ll really lose our minds."
Jung Tae-eui sighed and muttered to himself. In this situation, the most frightening thing was exactly that: No matter how strange the situation, people get used to it over time. They don’t even realize it’s happening, but they start to blend in with it.

Everything has pros and cons, and this place certainly had its advantages, but the drawbacks were just too severe.
"Maybe you don’t realize, but before we start the joint training, the video we saw during combat analysis—well, that was actually edited from the weekend training footage."
Tow spoke from the side. Jung Tae-eui murmured, "What video...?"

He immediately stiffened.
That’s right. The blood-red stains that marked the ground in the video. The vivid and intense color couldn’t be forgotten.
"So, is this the kind of training we’re doing now? Killing people like it’s nothing... Calling it training is a bit ridiculous."

Jung Tae-eui clicked his tongue and muttered, and Tow shrugged.
"It wasn’t like that. That was just because the guy was crazy. I mean, it's not like he killed my parents, even if I hate him, I wouldn’t beat him to death. Occasionally, someone dies by accident, but it’s almost never intentional. The point is, just don’t meet the crazy ones."
After hearing Tow’s words, Jung Tae-eui half-understood. Indeed, even if you hate someone, you wouldn’t think of killing them unless something was really wrong. Even if you’d never experienced it, instinctively, everyone understands the weight of murder.

… … If you look at it that way, how much of a grudge did that guy have that he would kill them even if it meant giving up his life for them to come running at him like that?
Jung Tae-ui felt bitter. Well, as you live, there are people you would want to kill even if it meant throwing away everything you have. A life without that would be a happy life, though.
"Hey, it's time. Let's go."

"Ah, right. Let's meet alive."
Carlo said as he got up ahead of them, and the other men also got up and answered.
Jung Tae-ui ⊛ Nоvеlιght ⊛ (Read the full story) wanted to stay like that without getting up because the hell that awaited him if he got up and left was so gloomy, but Tou grabbed his wrist and pulled him up, so he had no choice but to get up, dragged along.
***
'Hyung, take care of yourself. Don't worry about me."

Jeong Tae-ui took out the message on his pager again. It was a message that came in early this morning.
After returning to his room last night, he couldn't sleep, so he called Shin-ru after midnight. He worried that he might wake him up, but fortunately, he answered the phone in his usual voice.
Actually, he didn't really have anything to say. He just felt anxious after having a short but uninteresting conversation with Illei - it was too one-sided to be called a conversation. However, that didn't mean he could tell Shin-ru everything and say, "Don't come near him even if he approaches you. You have to look only at me."

In fact, he hadn't said anything to Shin-ru yet. Not that he liked him, or anything more.
He had been scolded by Tou before for being so obvious that it made people feel awkward, and Shin-ru was surprisingly quick-witted, so he didn't think he wouldn't know, but on the surface, what he said No.
Jung Tae-yi hesitated while holding the receiver.

Should I talk now? I like it. However, it wasn’t something to talk about on the phone, and talking right after brushing past Illei like that somehow felt like it wasn’t conveying my true feelings.
‘By the way, is that person close to you, hyung?’
He didn’t really have anything to say, so he was just vaguely talking, when Shin-ru suddenly asked about Illei on the other end of the receiver. Jung Tae-yi, who had been deliberately avoiding the topic of Illei, flinched for a moment, but soon answered obediently.

‘No, that’s not true. I got used to him somehow, but… … he’s dangerous if you get close to him.’
So, if that guy comes near or you see him nearby, try to avoid being noticed as much as possible, Jung Tae-ui continued, turning around. However, Shin-ru seemed to be listening absentmindedly. It seemed like his mind was focused on something else.
He felt a subtle sense of unease. Jung Tae-ui himself knew what his anxiety was. He didn’t want to admit it, but it was anxiety about loss. He wondered if Shin-ru was going to go to him.
That faint, vague anxiety eventually didn’t go away and the phone hung up, and Jung Tae-ui stared at the receiver with mixed feelings before turning over the blanket.

When he woke up after sleeping for a while, there was a message at dawn. Be careful.
Jung Tae-ui felt better after seeing that short sentence. It seems that he had been worried about Jung Tae-ui since he found out that there would be training starting this afternoon. Sometimes, the fact that there was someone who was worried about him was a bigger support than he thought.
Thank you, Jung Tae-ui sent a short reply and He put the pager in his pocket. He would take it out whenever he had time and look at it, feeling a pleasant sense of security. Of course, it didn’t really help.
“What the heck, they’re rushing at me like a pack of dogs, so it feels like I’m being chased.”

Jeong Tae-ui grumbled as he tightened his shoelaces that had come undone again. The laces kept coming loose earlier, so he untied them all the way and started tying them one by one, but as he was crouching in the middle of the hallway, a guy from the same branch who had just turned the corner and was running towards him, mistook Jeong Tae-ui for a European branch member and said, “Hey! I found you!” and got ready to hit him, kicking his ankle.
After he rolled over and realized that he had mistaken me, he apologized and disappeared, and even after that, something similar happened a couple more times.
“Everyone seems crazy……. I guess I fell to the wrong planet without even knowing it."

Jeong Tae-ui quietly lamented. Over there, someone could be heard shouting, "I found it!" or "Stay there, you punk!"
Even though they were teammates, seeing them act like that made me honestly think they were all crazy. This wasn't some kind of human hunting, and I couldn't understand the intention of the training itself.
"Rather than training my body, I think it's training to ruin my character... ."
Jeong Tae-ui walked slowly, spinning the club in his hand—it was made of rubber, but if he got hit properly, it would hurt so much that he would lose his mind. Since the situation would change every hour anyway, it seemed better to save his energy for the next hour. Even if Jeong Tae-ui didn't swing his club and try to catch and beat someone, there was no guarantee that the other person would pretend not to see Jeong Tae-ui.
"I'll have to run like crazy in an hour... ... . "I don't know where to hide."

Jeong Tae-ui had been scanning the inside of the branch building from top to bottom since a while ago. Right now, the Asian branch is chasing them, but in an hour, they will be on the other side, so he wanted to find a place to hide in advance.
However, there was no place that would be good. You could go anywhere you usually went in the branch building, but you couldn't go inside a door that led to a dead end. You had to run like crazy only in the hallways. The only exception was places with two or more doors, such as large lecture halls or training rooms.
A wide space with two or more doors was basically open, so you couldn't hide, and the same goes for the hallways. The hallways were so complicated that they could be considered a maze to a first-time visitor, and there was a high possibility of running into enemies or allies at every turn, so everyone had to run nervously.

"Damn. Why did they need an unnecessarily large building with 2,000 pyeong and 7 floors for a hundred people? It turns out they were just using it for this kind of useless and violent training."
Grumbling that the budget waste was no small feat, Jeong Tae-ui started from the 6th basement floor and went up each floor, looking for a place to hide. (The 7th basement floor was a prison, so no one was allowed to enter in the first place. Except for those who were severely punished and locked up for breaking the rules.)
Even though it was such a large and complex building, once there was a restriction that you couldn't enter the dead-end rooms, there was no place to hide.

"Can't I just tear off the ceiling and hide? Oh my, I'm going to run out of time. Tsk. If I don't run for an hour, I'm going to get beat up. Even if I claim that I didn't hit you guys even once... It's no use."
If I get chased and beaten for an hour, I might run around swinging my club and trying to beat them up for the next hour, Jeong Tae-ui thought as he climbed the stairs.
From the 6th basement floor where the men's office is, to the 5th basement floor where facilities are available for spending most of his free time, to the 4th basement floor where no one can enter because the door is locked with a sign saying "No Entry Except for a very small number of staff members", he just passed through, and went to the 3rd and 2nd basement floors used for regular work, and the 1st basement floor where the guards and assistants stay and do their work. Above that, the ground floor located under the rotten and crumbling roof.

In fact, rather than chasing and being chased, it might have been more correct to see it as a free fight in a wide space. The only difference is whether you attack first or attack later, but in the end, you can take the fight that comes at you, so it's more like indiscriminate free fight.
"Hmm, this is how it should be Time will change without any sharp response. … … I can’t help it. For now, I’ll just have to run for the next hour.”
Jeong Tae-ui sighed and went into the bathroom to prepare for the next hour. Sometimes, there were guys who awkwardly hid in the bathroom, so the bathroom became a stage for bloody fights. The bathroom that Jeong Tae-ui entered just now had a fight not long ago, as one side of the wall tiles that had been fine until this morning were completely broken. The building maintenance costs would be considerable later.
There were two or three men in the bathroom. They were from a different team from Jeong Tae-ui from the Asia branch, so they had never talked to each other, but their faces were familiar. When Jeong Tae-ui opened the bathroom door and entered, they all looked at him with fierce eyes, but when they realized that he was from the same branch, they relaxed again and continued their conversation among themselves.

“… … Yes. Today is the only day.”
“I’ll somehow force that guy in there, so we’ll finish him off inside.”
Everywhere he went, it was the same. Though he wasn't a heron, even so, this group of crows was probably rare. Today, how many human butchers, desperate to hunt humans, could be seen around?

What Jung Tae-eui hated was being swayed by the atmosphere of the group, regardless of his reason or experience. He couldn’t stand blindly agreeing with those raising their voices without deep reflection or thought, without considering the surrounding society.
But he soon changed his mind. It was not his place to speak recklessly about others' affairs. There was no way to guarantee that one of their close friends hadn’t been killed or maimed by those people. Jung Tae-eui didn’t deny that there could be a justified grudge. Furthermore, he had no right to pretend to be a saint. He himself had exploded in rage after years of pent-up frustration and had beaten Kim So-wi senseless without any restraint. Now, thinking back, it was fortunate he hadn’t killed him.
He wondered what that enemy was doing now. It had been a while since he last saw him. Perhaps he had developed a strange sense of attachment. ...If he saw him again, he’d probably find it unbearable, but still...

Jung Tae-eui entered the bathroom and sat down. He didn’t intend to relieve himself, but he just wanted to sit for a while. He could have gone down to the 6th floor and sat on one of the couches in the hallway, but sitting there meant he would constantly encounter others rushing around, swinging their batons. If he was unlucky, he might get caught up in it too.
“I don’t mind taking some risks if it means I can see that guy get hurt. Hell, I’d be fine even if I get injured. I just want to see what kind of face he makes when he screams, how he suffers. I really want to see it.”
"He's always so calm, like an ice block. I just want to see if there's really blood flowing under that face. Damn European bastard."

Outside the bathroom stall where Jung Tae-eui sat, the same men were still talking, not leaving. Jung Tae-eui listened to their conversation, not that they were aware he was there. But even so, he felt the deep divide between the Asian and European branches.
To want to see someone suffer to the point of death, even at the risk of your own safety—it wasn’t something someone would do unless they held a deep grudge. Jung Tae-eui had seen many dark sides of humanity since coming here.
He clicked his tongue in annoyance. He had seen his fair share of filthy situations in the army, but this was no different. He’d injured himself to leave the army to escape such scenes, only to find himself in another one like it here. A heron in a crow's place...

But who was this guy, who had attracted such a terrifying grudge, that people were willing to line up to kill him?
“I saw it earlier. Covered in blood from head to toe, and he didn’t even blink. What a mad bastard.”
“Honestly, I’m scared of him. If he were happy killing people, I’d just call him a psychopath, but he’s not like that. His face is the same whether he’s killing someone or not. That’s not human.”

The voices, low and gloomy, murmured fearfully. The atmosphere turned cold as if the tone of their voices had infected the room.
Jung Tae-eui sighed quietly and looked up at the ceiling. He had expected it, but now that his suspicion was confirmed, it didn’t seem right. If two people were collecting such deep grudges, it would be a huge problem.
In this place, killing someone was just like sleeping or breathing—it was nothing special.

Ilay Rigrow. The man who always managed to draw the word “madman” from everyone’s mouth.
“Is it really okay? If we use the cluster, the dojo will be blown to pieces.”
“If we don’t do it that way, it’ll be hard to kill him. Plus, the dojo is empty, so there’s no place to hide the body. It’s the only place to do it.”

“Don’t worry too much. We can afford to blow up a dojo. And didn’t Kippenhan say he’d cover for us?”
At that moment, the conversation suddenly stopped. It seemed like the last person who had spoken realized his mistake and quickly shut up. The other men also fell silent, looking at each other.
Jung Tae-eui, hearing this, leaned his head back against the wall. It seemed like he had overheard something problematic.

Judging by the fact that they didn’t immediately drag him out of the bathroom stall, it didn’t seem like a matter so secretive. However, the content would definitely cause trouble if it reached the ears of others.
“Well, so what? If that guy dies, not just us, but the Europeans would be glad too. They just won’t say it out loud. As long as it doesn’t get back to him, they’ll be fine. But I wonder if there’s anyone around him who can give him advice.”
One of the men muttered, breaking the silence. Others nodded in agreement.

Jung Tae-eui, unable to keep his head resting on the wall any longer, placed his hand on his forehead. His headache was growing stronger, and his heart began to race with anxiety, his neck feeling cold.
From just a few words, Jung Tae-eui quickly understood. These men were planning to kill Ilay. Moreover, they were backed by Kippenhan—probably the Kippenhan instructor in charge of information management.
This wasn’t good. This situation was very bad. Ilay was practically a public enemy, a man who had committed acts deserving of death. Killing him wouldn’t be criticized; in fact, there would probably be many who would be happy about it.

However, this wasn’t just a simple case of people plotting together to kill someone because they held a grudge. With Kippenhan involved, the situation became much more complicated. Even if they knew how to cover it up, their involvement was undeniable.
Jung Tae-eui thought of Kippenhan.
Kippenhan, an instructor of a similar age to his uncle, was a man highly sensitive to his own interests. He was skilled at analyzing situations and extracting favorable results, achieving maximum gain with minimal investment. He often resorted to unethical methods in the process.

Jung Tae-eui didn’t particularly like him, as he served under a different superior than his uncle. He wasn’t a man he felt any personal warmth for. However, there was no denying that he was extremely intelligent, and it was hard to believe he would be involved in something like this. Even if Ilay were to die, it didn’t seem like it would benefit Kippenhan in any way.
Jung Tae-eui rubbed his temple with his index finger. He tried to think through the situation, but the answer came quickly. He had to stay away from the 3rd floor at all costs.
Whether or not they would succeed in carrying out their plan, he didn’t know. But if they managed to lure Ilay into the dojo and throw a cluster inside, even that monster of a man would surely die. Then, would he have to warn him?

For a brief moment, Jung Tae-eui was torn. The answer, though, didn’t come easily. He didn’t feel any sorrow if Ilay died. In fact, he would consider it a good thing. But the issue wasn’t that—what troubled him was whether he should ignore their plans and pretend he hadn’t heard anything. He wasn’t naive or virtuous enough to trust in absolute ethics without considering the consequences.
“I shouldn’t have heard any of this... I’m going to feel guilty if that bastard dies.”
Jung Tae-eui muttered under his breath, so quietly that it couldn’t be heard outside. His lips were still cold, and he didn’t know if it was because of his chilled fingertips, but they felt even colder.

Outside, the men seemed ready to say more. Jung Tae-eui realized that he needed to make the best decision he could at this moment. Before hearing any more, he decided to leave.
When Jung Tae-eui opened the bathroom door and stepped out, the men outside immediately fell silent. They had known he was inside but looked at him with suspicious eyes, as though seeing a strange person.
Jung Tae-eui silently moved through them, washing his hands at the sink. He wanted to wash away the grime from leaning against the filthy bathroom wall, but he couldn’t very well wash his hair here.

“Hey, you. You’re from Jung Chang-in’s team, right?”
One of the men suddenly spoke up. Judging by his cold, threatening tone, Jung Tae-eui could easily guess what he was about to say.
“Do whatever you want, just don’t waste your strength on me.”

Jung Tae-eui replied curtly while looking at the mirror. He felt uneasy, hearing unnecessary words, and was annoyed at being threatened here. Above all, he didn’t want to mix words with such dangerous people, especially not someone from Kippenhan’s team.
“I’m sure we’ll end it in this round, so there won’t be time to spread the word, but don’t talk too much. Got it? We’re teammates, right? You understand? We’re just making sure that bastard gets what’s coming to him.”
The man added, apparently not satisfied with Jung Tae-eui’s response. Jung Tae-eui sighed quietly. It seemed like he had to say something to satisfy the clueless men.

“You didn’t realize, did you? I didn’t hear the name of that bastard. You didn’t even mention it. So, what I’m saying is, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Aha.”
The man seemed to finally understand what Jung Tae-eui was saying. How much he understood, whether he grasped that Jung Tae-eui wanted to be left alone, Jung Tae-eui didn’t know. But at least the point seemed to be clear.

The man shrugged and said, “Alright, friend.” Jung Tae-eui thought, Friend? Not in a million years, but he didn’t say it out loud. He just hoped their memory was bad enough that the next time they ran into him in the hallway or somewhere else, they wouldn’t try to act like they knew him.
It seemed that an hour had passed. The building-wide alarm went off.