Please Don’t Die, My Lady

Chapter 39

Thankfully, as she had initially promised, I wasn’t chained up 24/7.

When I needed to use the bathroom or eat, Ariana would remove the handcuffs.

Sometimes, under her watchful eye, I was even allowed to move freely around the room.

Of course, none of that changed the fact that Ariana never let me leave the room.

She acted as if I were a premature infant in an incubator—one step outside her sight and I might die.

It was an obsessive fixation, bordering on pathological.

When she had to leave the room, she made sure I couldn’t move an inch by tightening the handcuffs.

Then she’d look at me with guilt-filled eyes that made me want to curse her out.

Whatever excuse she gave the professors, no one came looking for me.

Her claim that she’d keep me locked up until graduation seemed entirely sincere.

Is this what it feels like to wither away?

Sitting hunched in a corner of the dimly lit room, my face buried in my knees, I’d sink into existential doubt.

I had no purpose. I was as useful as a corpse, except I cost far more to maintain than simply burying one.

I was tied to a bed, provided with meals, forced to take medicine for my poor health, and even given mental care now and then to prevent suicide.

At this point, I was worse than a corpse.

“Well, I guess I do have one use.”

It wasn’t intentional, but I’d noticed Ariana seemed to have a sexual attraction to me.

Whenever we bathed together or lay side by side, her reactions made it hard not to notice.

Sometimes, she’d turn her back to me and—

Yeah, I’d catch her pleasuring herself.

She must have thought I was asleep, but I’ve been such a light sleeper lately that her moans inevitably woke me up.

I don’t know why she’s attracted to someone like me.

Maybe she’s just a lesbian and naturally feels desire for a woman she lives with.

Either way, if she finds me arousing, I suppose I do have one purpose.

Honestly, she might as well direct it toward me instead of hiding and dealing with it alone.

I hate the idea, but…

Even if I hate it, it might be better than continuing this lifeless existence.

At least it’s not some hairy, pot-bellied man.

It’s a hundred times better to be handled by someone like Ariana, who at least looks pleasant on the outside.

Yeah, I can handle it. Totally.

Just as I reached this conclusion, the door opened, and Ariana returned from wherever she’d been in the morning.

I greeted her with a broad smile, eager to share my decision.

“You seem to be in a good mood.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen you smile like that.

Were you thinking of something funny?”

“Ariana, want to have sex with me?”

“…What?”

She stared at me in shock, as if doubting her own ears.

I responded with a chuckle.

Her eyes, initially filled with confusion and a hint of excitement, dimmed into her usual reserved expression upon seeing my smile.

She must think I’ve gone mad.

If someone who had been acting like a lifeless doll suddenly smiled and made such a suggestion, anyone would think they were crazy.

But I’m serious.

I’ve thought about it long and hard.

“You don’t like things like that, though. Why the sudden change?”

“If it’s with you, I don’t mind. Do you dislike me, Ariana?”

“…Of course I like you. But…”

“Then there’s no problem. Come here. I’ve had experience with women before. I’ll take the lead.”

Smiling sweetly, I offered my cuffed hand to her, the chains jingling softly.

If she took it, I planned to pull her in for a kiss.

But Ariana simply stared at my extended hand for a long time, showing no intention of taking it.

When I shook my hand slightly in encouragement, she finally opened her mouth.

“My Lady.”

“What are you waiting for? Come here already.”

“…You’re trembling.

Don’t push yourself.”

I glanced down at my hand.

It was trembling uncontrollably, as though I had some kind of disorder.

It wasn’t just my hand.

I was shaking all over, like someone terrified out of their mind.

It was almost pitiful.

Sure, I hated this, but couldn’t my body at least cooperate for once?

Nothing ever goes the way I want.

Trying to steady the tremors, I grasped my wrist. Ariana sighed, as if she’d expected this.

Heh, this isn’t good.

Now it’s a matter of pride.

“Why are you so desperate to hurt yourself?

When I stopped you from cutting yourself, you moved on to your mind?

Offering your body like this to someone you don’t even want—it’s nonsensical.”

“I like you.”

“You like me? Then don’t hurt yourself—”

“You love me. You’re attracted to me. You want to have me, don’t you?”

“Wha—what?”

Ah, I flustered her.

I shouldn’t feel this way, but it’s oddly satisfying.

“How did you…?”

“Did you think I wouldn’t know? You’ve been so obvious.

I’ve seen you using me as your little fantasy fuel countless times. Don’t even think of denying it.”

“Ah, uh… ugh…”

I grabbed Ariana’s shoulder and pulled her closer, watching her face flush red as she bowed her head.

She didn’t resist, letting herself be drawn in until we were inches apart.

I could feel her hot breath against my cheek, a clear sign of her growing arousal.

Look at that.

She’s already had her way with me a thousand times in her mind, yet she gets like this when she’s actually in front of me.

Be honest with yourself.

Stop pretending to be pure and just give in to your instincts.

“So don’t lie to yourself. You want me, don’t you?

When the person you desire the most comes to you, asking for it, why would you say no?

Are you such a novice, even in this, that you can’t handle it?”

“I—I locked you up to protect you, not to assault you!

Don’t taint my intentions. They’re pure and—”

Sure, pure intentions.

Locking someone up without laying a finger on them—

That’s something only someone truly selfless could do.

But just because it’s done with good intentions doesn’t mean those intentions are pure.

Why did you go to such lengths for me in the first place?

There must have been a reason.

It’s probably because you like me.

…You know what, Ariana?

The moment you get defensive, you’ve already lost.

Isn’t there a saying that strong denial is an admission?

By reacting so strongly, you’ve essentially admitted that, beneath your “good intentions,” there’s a desire directed at me.

I dropped my smile.

“Good intentions, my ass.

You’ve been looking at me with lustful eyes for ages, so stop pretending otherwise.

Back where I’m from, there’s a term for it—‘eye assault.’ Though, I guess you wouldn’t know that.”

“I’m not saying I didn’t have sexual thoughts, but I held back!

Even if I gave in to my instincts, I didn’t act on them!”

“Good job, then.

But now, you don’t have to hold back anymore. Come on, let’s—”

“Stop trying to make this seem natural!”

Taking advantage of her moment of agitation, I tried to sneak in a kiss, but she pushed me away, shoving me back onto the bed.

Despite her dizzy eyes, she somehow always noticed things like this.

She sank to the floor beneath the bed, her legs pressed tightly together, her face bright red, and her breathing ragged.

Her trembling movements made it obvious she was barely keeping herself in check.

It looked like she was already at her limit.

Why was she holding back so much?

“If you’re too rough, it’ll hurt.

I am still a patient, after all.”

“…Oh, right.

I’m sorry. I panicked… This isn’t how it’s supposed to be….”

Regret flickered in her softening eyes.

This was the moment to push further.

I stretched my body, lifting my arms into a pose that highlighted certain areas.

Would she like this?

Well, I liked it.

Though my body was too skinny to show much, her stolen glances suggested it worked.

Seems she has a thing for the frail and vulnerable type.

That explains why she likes me.

“What kind of patient seduces their caretaker?”

“I was just stretching,” I said, grinning playfully.

Ariana sighed, pressing her temples with her fingers. Then, after a pause, she removed my handcuffs and climbed onto the bed to sit across from me.

For a moment, I thought she was finally ready, but instead, she smoothed the bedsheets and launched into a lecture.

“…Both beasts and humans have sexual desires.

But what makes us human is that we don’t act on them whenever we want!

If I’d just ignored it, I could’ve endured to the end.

So why is it that you, who recoiled from a single kiss before, are now—”

“Oh, I see. I understand what you’re saying.

You locked me up, drove me insane, and now you’re saying you can’t bring yourself to assault me? Got it. You’re practically a saint, aren’t you?”

If you’re going to drive me mad, you should at least take responsibility for it.

Why can’t you understand that beating me into shape would be better for me than leaving me like this?

It’s this hypocrisy that makes Ariana, the “changed” version of her, so nauseating to deal with.

Besides, it’s not like this would be assault.

I’m the one asking for it. If anything, it’d be reverse assault.

“Sure, it’s a bit annoying that we’re both women, but whatever. Let’s start.

I’ll undress first, okay? Even though I’m thin, I still look like a woman, don’t I?”

“…Stop.”

Too exhausted to think anymore, I used my free hands to undo my shirt.

Holding the fabric tightly, I began sliding it off my shoulders, inch by inch.

Each small movement made Ariana flinch, her trembling figure utterly ridiculous.

Actions speak louder than words, after all.

Besides, she’s the one who uncuffed me.

Isn’t that implicit consent?

If she was really against this, she wouldn’t have loosened the restraints.

Unless her kink is being overwhelmed by the “prey.” That’d be a bit too perverted for my taste.

But oh well, I guess the desperate party has to put in the effort.

I half-removed my top and began crawling toward her.

“See? You’re at your limit, aren’t you? You can’t hold back anymore.

You’ve been struggling alone for so long—just take it out on me. I’m giving you permission.”

I nestled into her lap, pressing my face against her chest and resting a hand lightly there.

Despite the closeness, there was still plenty of space between us, thanks to her taller frame.

Her racing heartbeat pounded in my ears.

Her breathing was so fast it made me worry she might pass out.

If it were me, I’d have already fainted. Would Ariana be okay?

“Please… stop… Just stop… Why, why are you doing this to me…?”

“Why? I’m not doing anything bad.

I’m just giving you permission to do what you already want to do.”

She was practically sobbing now. I asked as if I didn’t already know.

I’d openly admitted her attraction to me—what more reason did she need to stop resisting?

Even if she’s worried about me, this seems excessive.

She locked me up without hesitation, so why is this where she draws the line?

“I don’t want to regret this…

I want to be the one person who lived selflessly for you. Without selfish motives.”

Ah.

So that’s what she’s worried about.

I smiled gently.

You could’ve told me that earlier.

I’ve had my answer prepared for a while.

“It’s too late for that, you damn hypocrite.”

That seemed to be the trigger.

Something snapped into place—or out of place—inside Ariana.

She stared at me, her body frozen, blinking slowly.

Her once-vacant expression shifted as her parted lips closed, growing darker and more dangerous with each passing second.

Her unfocused eyes went completely wild.

Honestly, it was terrifying.

Maybe I pushed her too far.

I started to pull away instinctively, but her hand shot out and grabbed my arm.

I tried to shake her off but quickly gave up.

Her grip was tight. Painfully so.

“So, that’s how it is.”

A small mutter.

“I see now.”

Her voice was steady, filled with certainty.

She pulled me into an iron embrace, wrapping her arms around my back and pinning me beneath her weight.

My clothes came undone naturally as her lips pressed against mine. Something hot and wet slipped into my mouth.

Her right hand slid over my stomach and slipped under my underwear.

Her left hand flicked my bra aside and began fondling my chest.

To put it plainly, that’s how it went.

The rest of the night followed a similar pattern. I didn’t sleep a wink.

She was rougher than I’d expected.

It made me wonder just how much she’d been holding back.

And embarrassingly, by the end, I was practically begging her to stop.

I cried the whole night.

Both above and below.