Rizz Taoist Master

"Fang Yuan, quietly hand over the Spring Autumn Cicada and accept your L!"

"Old Sigma Fang, stop attempting to resist anymore, today all of the alphas of justice have combined together just to destroy your devil lair. This place is already covered in inescapable nets, today is absolutely going to be your last!"

"Fang Yuan you damn demon, just because you wanted to rizz the Spring Autumn Cicada, you've gone and unalived millions of people. Today is the day of your crash!"

"Twenty million dead? Sounds like they had a skill issue," Gooner Yue Fang Yuan said with a gentle smile. 

"Demon, 300 years ago you insulted me, defiled me, killed my entire family and executed nine generations of my family. From that moment onwards, I hated you with a burning passion! Today, your free trial of living has expired!"

"You're acting a bit cringe, sis," Fang Yuan replied. "No one likes a party pooper."

Fang Yuan's fit was not it. Torn green robes, hair a whole mess, and drenched in the red sauce. Total sus vibes. 

He's looking around like, "Oops, did I do that?" The bloody robes are waving in the breeze, giving major war flag aesthetic. 

Blood's just cascading from his wounds. Dude's standing there for, like, two seconds, and already a whole puddle of blood is forming. 

Enemies everywhere. He's totally boxed in. It's giving "this is my villain origin story" energy, but also, like, he's def about to get clapped. Big L incoming.

"Am I cooked chat?" Fang Yuan muttered under his breath. 

Okay, so, Fang Yuan's like, "Yeah, I'm kinda screwed," but his face? Stone cold. Zero reaction. Just radiating "unbothered king" energy. His eyes are deep, like, really deep, like you could fall in and never come out.

The "alphas of justice" surrounding him are a mix of boomers and try-hard newbies.

Some are yelling, some are sneering, some are clutching their boo-boos and low-key panicking. But nobody's making a move. They're all scared of what Fang Yuan might do. Six. Whole. Hours. Just a tense standoff. 

Honestly, these so-called 'alphas' are giving big beta energy here. 

Then, sunset. Golden hour hits, and the mountain's looking kinda fire, literally. Talk about dramatic lighting.

Fang Yuan's watching the sunset, and he lets out a little chuckle. Then he drops this poetic line about sunsets and autumn moons and how life's fleeting, y'know? Deep stuff. 

Suddenly, he's hit with a wave of nostalgia, remembering his past life on Earth. He was just a regular dude, a scholar, who somehow got isekai'd into this crazy world. Five hundred years flash before his eyes faster than a TikTok real.

"Welp, I flopped," he thinks, but no regrets, obvi. He knew what he was getting into. Being a demon means no mercy, no chill. He's a straight-up menace. 

"If this time travel bug works," he thinks, "I'm gonna be even more demonic next time around." And then he full-on cackles, like a Disney villain. 

The warriors are all, "WTF is he laughing about?!" 

"He's gonna attack!" 

"Give us the bug!" 

They rush him, and boom! Big explosion. 

Fang Yuan's gone. 

Or is he? 

Scene transmission!

Okay, so, it's raining on Qing Mao Mountain. Late night vibes, light rain, gentle breeze, very chill. But the mountain's not totally dark.

There are a bunch of little lights, like a string of fairy lights, going all the way down. Not tons of lights, but still a whole vibe.

That's Gooner Yue Village, nestled on the mountain, giving it some cozy human vibes. In the middle of the village, there's this fancy pavilion, and they're having a big ceremony.

Lights are extra bright, super festive. The clan chief alpha, a middle-aged dude with graying sideburns, is rocking some ceremonial white robes and kneeling on the floor.

He's praying to the ancestors, asking for some talented young blood (literally, new people). He's facing this big black shrine with ancestor tablets. Incense is burning, like totes giving spiritual energy. Behind him, there are like ten other people, all alphas and VIPs, also kneeling and praying. After the prayer, the clan leader bows down and kowtows, forehead hitting the floor with a thump.

Respectful king.

The alphas and VIPs all followed the clan leader's lead, thump thump thump went their foreheads against the floor. Respect level: maxed out.

Ceremony over, they all get up and file out of the temple, finally able to breathe. Sighs of relief all around.

The chatter starts up. "Wow, time flies, huh? Feels like the last ceremony was just yesterday."

"I wonder who the fresh meat will be this year?"

"Fingers crossed for some prodigies. Gooner Yue's been lacking in the genius department lately."

"Seriously! Bing Chilling Village and Xiong Village have been popping off with talented kids. Especially that Bai Ning Bing Chilling. Dude's a straight-up beast, no cap."

Someone mentions Bai Ning Bing Chilling, and everyone gets a little stressed. That kid's insane. Level three Gu Master in two years? Total prodigy. Even the old-timers are feeling the pressure. He's gonna be the next big thing for the Bai clan, no doubt.

"But," someone says, trying to be optimistic, "we've got Fang Zhi's kid. Started talking at three months, walking at four, reciting poetry at five! Super smart. Too bad his parents yeeted themselves early. Now he's living with his aunt and uncle."

"Yeah, Fang Zhi's kid is kinda a big deal. Talking at three months? Walking at four? Reciting poetry at five? Brain the size of a planet. Shame about his parents, though. Living with his aunt and uncle now."

"Totally! He's wise beyond his years, and ambitious too. I heard his poems 'Gone With The Weeaboo,' 'Skibidi Rizz,' and 'Guys Just Wanna Goon.' Straight fire!"

The clan chief alpha walks out of the temple, closes the door, and overhears the other alphas gossiping about the Gooner Yue Fang Yuan. He's been keeping tabs on all the promising youngsters, and Fang Yuan's the most hyped. Usually, kids with crazy early talents (photographic memory, adult strength, etc.) have amazing cultivation potential.

"If this kid's A-grade, he could even go toe-to-toe with Bai Ning Bing Chilling," the clan chief alpha thinks. "Even B-grade would be awesome. But he's probably A-grade, tbh."

He smiles, then coughs and tells the alphas, "Alright, folks, it's late. Gotta be fresh for tomorrow's ceremony." The alphas get the message. This means war.

They're all gonna fight over these kids like it's Black Friday for prodigies. Time to strategize and get their game faces on.