Surviving as a Trash Bard in a Game

Sitting by a small campfire, listening to the stories of others while having a simple meal… it truly is akin to torture.

Every time I open my mouth to eat something, the next story immediately begins, and he was waiting for my answer endlessly.

Chew quickly, swallow quickly, answer quickly. And before he finishes the next story, quickly put the next food in your mouth.

It really is torture.

“After going to the church—”

“Why are we heading to the church?”

“Didn’t you listen when I explained it earlier?”

“Yeah.”

“…I’ll explain it again. The reason we’re going to the church is because the church is a merciful place that gives bread and water even to humans without money.”

“We have money.”

“The prices in the north are too high. I don’t want to spend more of my money. If I spend it all on buying scrolls again, there won’t be much left.”

“Just use magic.”

“I don’t have a heart. You know that.”

“Why does that matter?”

“It’s like a carriage without a coachman. No, to be precise, the coachman who controls the horse can be seen as the brain… well, you can understand it that way.”

“You mean controlling something that can’t be controlled.”

“Yes. Magic that can be controlled moves along the path set by the user, but magic that cannot be controlled explodes as if spreading in all directions… boom.”

“Then how did you use teleportation then?”

“It’s simple. If I keep exploding the magic inside my body, I can make an explosion that is similar to teleportation, a magic pattern.”

“…Are you crazy?”

“It was a situation where it was worth trying such a crazy thing.”

This guy… in such a dangerous situation, he was trying to show off against a mad king? Is he sane?

In a situation where he should be begging for his life instead of provoking, he chose that option. I can’t think of any other way to describe it other than that he’s really crazy.

It’s a miracle that his body ended up in that state.

In the first place, the fact that teleportation was activated at all is a miraculous probability…!

Did he look at the shape of the clouds in the sky and say, ‘Hey, doesn’t that look like a breast?’ while looking at the shape of the explosion happening inside his own body?

‘A psychopath…?’

No, there’s really no other way to describe it other than a psychopath.

“Anyway, let’s get back to the main point.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you aware that you also possess a divine body? Even though you have the ridiculous idea that you’re normal.”

“Yeah. Why?”

“You’re not normal… no, let’s put that issue aside for now, and I’ll explain the four factions that are collecting divine bodies.”

“…There are four factions?”

“Well, if you include minor factions and individual hunters, there are too many to count. I’m only telling you about the four most dangerous groups.”

Too many to count?

Certainly, just having it is ‘immortality’, so it’s a power that everyone would covet. It even gives you a strange ability as a bonus.

The heart that Skyler had was a fraudulent ability called infinite magic, and if I know how to handle my eyes properly… a similar power might be possible.

‘The problem is that I don’t know how to handle it, nor the direction.’

Let’s just sit still and listen to the explanation for now. Anyway, when I’m not affected by the status, my increased intelligence will take care of it.

“First of all, the church—”

“What?!”

“Yes. The church.”

“We’re going to the church right now, aren’t we?!”

“Well, you knew. I think I told you before… didn’t I? I’m confused. Or is it just Selina, your memory is bad so you can’t remember? Or did I really not tell you?”

“It’s confusing when you ask like that. That’s not the point!”

“Don’t bother talking further. I can clearly see what question you’re going to ask. It’s obviously, ‘Why are we going to the church when it’s one of the four most dangerous and largest factions that covet divine bodies?'”

“Exactly.”

“We just have to tell them that we don’t have a divine body, and the chances of such an issue being dealt with in a rural church in the north are low.”

“…There’s no need to take unnecessary risks.”

“Okay. I’ll tell you the truth.”

So there was something he was hiding.

He could have just said it from the beginning.

Going to a nearby church, taking unnecessary risks for the trivial reason of saving money? I thought he wasn’t calculating the risks properly because it wasn’t his eye.

He’s not the type to act irrationally without any reason. Let’s hear the reason first.

“I have a friend in that city.”

“…Ugh, is it connections in the end?”

“Yes. It’s a human I can trust.”

“Alright. I understand.”

“Good. Then let’s go back to the main topic and I’ll explain about the church.”

“Wait a minute.”

“Yes?”

“I have a question. Which god does the church believe in? You said there are many gods.”

“Originally there were three gods, and after they all died, a new god was born. What the church believes in is that one god. And the one god, over time, separated his divinity and body to create new gods.”

“For example?”

“He separated his Achilles tendon to create the god of storms, his eyes to create the god of love, his brain to create the god of time, and his heart to create the god of magic.”

“That’s fascinating.”

“Good. Then let’s get back to the main topic and start the explanation.”

If I were to summarize Skyler’s explanation briefly, it would be like this.

Honestly, he gave a very detailed explanation about the four factions, and it was very long… even if I summarized it, it was an amount that could never be summarized ‘briefly’.

Still, it’s less tiring to see it briefly than to listen to the boring and uninteresting explanation directly.

I roughly organized it in my head.

–

1. The Church.

The reason they collect the divine bodies is simple. They want to restore their god to its perfect form. Therefore, they combine and assemble the divine bodies rather than using or implanting them.

Some high-ranking officials are still alive in bizarre forms, with divine bodies embedded in their bodies.

They are saying the ridiculous statement that it’s okay to implant as long as they don’t use it.

Even though the doctrine clearly states that using a god is a blasphemous act, their logic is that it’s okay as long as they don’t use it.

It is said that some high-ranking officials have even used divine bodies. It’s an open secret.

In fact, there are few humans who follow the doctrine. The church is already divided into many, and the devout humans have become weaker. The reason was simple.

They cannot cross the line, they cannot blaspheme. That is why they are weak.

…A world where good humans suffer.

–

2. The Empire.

They currently have the strongest power. In other words, what they want most is to maintain the status quo.

They don’t necessarily need to have a divine body. The emperor is not interested in immortality. However… it is problematic for the enemies of the empire to have divine bodies.

That’s about their policy.

If you are caught or discovered by the empire, they will try to appease or make a deal. It’s good to keep it in mind as a last resort.

Skyler briefly explained and ended.

–

3. The Magic Tower.

The most difficult humans.

If you get involved, no, it’s best not to create any involvement in the first place… but if you do get involved, kill yourself immediately.

…Kill yourself.

Skyler’s face looked very serious, and it was so dark.

I didn’t say anything, I just nodded.

In the end, I didn’t hear much about the Magic Tower.

–

4. The Mad King.

A man who was a hero of the empire in the past, after obtaining the ‘God’s Brain’, began to act like a different person.

After that, he rebelled against the empire, declaring his land… and that he would be hostile to the empire if he did not receive his share. The emperor chose to negotiate rather than fight.

In the end, the mad king blackmailed the empire to extort land and rights, and just spends his time in his territory in debauchery.

His goal is unknown, but for now, he is one of the factions collecting divine bodies.

–

“—And finally.”

“Huh? Weren’t there only four?”

“This is about you.”

“About me?”

“I think you are an artificially created being by one of the four factions mentioned above. No, I’m sure of it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Let’s exclude the Mad King who treated you as a stranger for now, and since the church didn’t say anything… there’s a high probability that you’re an experimental subject of the Empire or the Magic Tower. Especially the Magic Tower…”

“The Magic Tower?”

“No, it’s nothing. What I want to say is, you don’t have to pretend to be okay with such a casual expression. And your smart personality is probably—”

“I think you’re mistaken. I told you, I don’t have any memories.”

“At the Adventurer’s Guild… sigh… if you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine. Let’s just say you got lost.”

Skyler ended the story like that.

What on earth is he misunderstanding? I don’t think there was anything special at the Adventurer’s Guild.

At most, I just played in front of other adventurers, drank alcohol for free, and received this special instrument in the Forest of Songs.

Oh, maybe it’s because I used my eyes?

If not that… did he notice something about the instrument?

‘It’s certainly a magical instrument. It changes shape at will, and it can be tuned to the desired sound with a flick of a finger…’

Well, he’ll figure it out.

For now, let’s just try to walk diligently to the nearby city.

‘Even if my lousy stamina, ‘narcolepsy’, and ‘clumsy habit’ are activated, it’s a distance that can be covered in one day.’

One more step.

It’s time to move forward.

And so, three days passed.

We were able to arrive in the city, completely exhausted.

—And, Skyler makes a hypothesis in his mind.