Surviving as a Trash Bard in a Game

Three days.

That’s how long it took us to travel to the nearby town where the church is located.

It would take quite a while to explain just what had happened to make it this way—

“Selena.”

“Ugh, yeah.”

“You know that if you hadn’t gotten lost along the way, we would have arrived in two days, right?”

“…Yeah.”

“And if you hadn’t fallen asleep along the way, we obviously would have arrived in one day, right?”

“I know.”

“……Yes. If you know, that’s fine.”

I wish he would just curse me out instead; it would be easier on my mind.

Could you not make that face of restraint…?

Honestly, it’s not like I wanted to sleep, and it’s not like I wanted to be clumsy.

No, more than that, I hate myself for being scared just because you made a slightly stern face…!

Anyway, we’re in town now, so it should be fine, right? As they say, all roads lead to Rome, even if you take a detour.

‘…Ah, come to think of it, there’s no way Skyler would know that proverb.’

The wisdom of the ancient ancestors hasn’t been passed down, it seems. If Skyler had a mother or father, he wouldn’t have grown up to be such a nasty brat…!

“Did you just think something incredibly rude?”

“No…?”

“……Yes.”

“Do people who have or had a divine body also have enhanced intuition?”

“No. But the fact that you’re suddenly asking that… You must have been thinking something rude, after all.”

I shut my mouth.

Your Honor, I plead the fifth.

Anyway, despite various incidents, we finally managed to arrive at this town where Skyler’s acquaintance supposedly resides!

At the edge of the North.

Ogreut!

***

Entering the town was incredibly easy.

The adventurer’s tag serves as both an ID and a hygiene certificate.

Upon confirming that we were wandering adventurers, they let us through without any proper entry procedures. The Association’s influence, I suppose—it feels like it.

Ah, the hygiene certificate is a ‘non-infected’ certificate issued due to a disease called the ‘Black Death’ that spread in the past.

It’s the item I mentioned when I first opened my eyes in this world and was organizing my money and equipment.

‘It’s convenient. And also very lax.’

What’s good is good.

Let’s not overthink it.

It’ll just give me a headache. My head is already fuzzy anyway. It’s not the time to think properly. Let’s put it off for later.

“First, let’s go to the church… and meet my two acquaintances.”

“Two? I thought it was one?”

“I said I had acquaintances at the church. I didn’t say how many.”

“Do you have to hide things like this even in the smallest details?”

“Yes. You’ve hidden quite a lot too. I need to repay you a little to feel better.”

This damn brat.

He really…!

If I ever return to my original world, I’ll definitely download this game again and smash your head with a combat-specialized character.

‘No, it’s a bit funny to download the game again after being possessed.’

Well, I won’t be caught twice.

I spent a whopping 70,000 won on pre-orders. Am I just going to let that go to waste?

Am I going to let the sequel I’ve waited years for just sit in the coffin without even playing it?

Absolutely not.

I’ve waited years for this game.

‘Just you wait.’

Gritting my teeth, we headed to the church.

The path to the church was longer and more winding than I expected. Unlike typical towns, the church in this town seemed to be… treated poorly, I should say?

Thanks to that, I had some time to look around on the way.

A strange landscape devoid of people.

If I were to describe this town with a color, it would undoubtedly be gray. It’s a desolate town that doesn’t feel like people live in it…

There were a few pedestrians here and there, and people dressed as adventurers like us, but it still felt lonely.

If I had to summarize my impression of this town in one word, it would be: alone.

“How much longer until we reach the church?”

“It should be visible soon.”

“More importantly, it doesn’t seem to fit.”

“What?”

“A mage being acquainted with church people, and you having two acquaintances.”

“Not all mages hate priests, and similarly, can you stop assuming that all mages are friendless, socially inept losers?”

“I didn’t put it that harshly.”

“That’s what you meant, though.”

Ah, this behavior… it’s familiar.

In modern terms, this behavior is called ‘being triggered.’

It’s a bit childish.

I don’t know how old you are, but right now, you look like just an ordinary boy.

‘A bit… human.’

It was a strangely reassuring feeling.

Honestly, an adventure with someone who has no affection or humanity… it’s the worst, isn’t it? It’s better to travel with someone who at least seems human.

How long did we walk?

We finally arrived at a shabby church.

Creak—

The gate of the church fence opened with an eerie sound.

It was a height that was ambiguous to call a fence, but since there were iron bars surrounding the church, I’ll refer to it as such.

“Let’s go in.”

“…It opened even though there’s no one around?”

“The owner of the church is someone who likes these kinds of pranks.”

He said it was Skyler’s acquaintance and someone trustworthy… but hearing that he enjoys these kinds of pranks immediately lowered my trust.

Another reason that made my already diminished trust hit rock bottom was the interior of the church.

It was beyond shabby; it looked like a deserted house where no one could live. When I rubbed my finger on a dusty chair, something black came off.

I immediately freaked out and poured water from my pocket onto my finger.

‘…I feel like my lifespan has been reduced by a year.’

Every time I breathe, I feel dust in my nose. My throat feels dry. My eyes sting.

I had an urge to leave this filthy place right now. However, Skyler was heading towards the church’s pulpit without hesitation, as if he was used to this.

And, at that moment.

A hand suddenly popped out from behind the church’s pulpit.

A pale, white… a peculiar hand that didn’t seem to belong to a human.

Skyler wasn’t surprised at all by the hand. Instead, he grabbed the suddenly appearing hand and looked behind the pulpit.

I was standing at a distance… no, to be precise, I was near the church door, ready to run away at any moment, so I couldn’t see who the owner of the hand was.

“Well… you still don’t play along with my pranks.”

“I don’t have time for your childish pranks. I want to resupply with a temporary place to stay, food, and drinking water.”

“How long are you going to keep getting things for free?”

“…”

Skyler glanced at me and whispered to the pale man.

And the pale man laughed out loud.

“Alright. That’s certainly my responsibility. But don’t think you can always use that as an excuse to get things for free.”

“Yes. I’m sure you feel that way. More importantly, where’s Nisha?”

“Ah, she’s out hunting nearby.”

The pale man finished his conversation with Skyler and looked at me.

He straightened his bent body and stretched a little.

Crack-

An ominous sound of bones cracking.

He slowly started to approach me.

As he got closer, I began to realize his size. A giant who was at least 2 meters tall. A rare physique in this era.

Despite wearing a basic priest’s, a cassock, his physique and muscles were undeniable.

—I can’t win.

I froze on the spot. Because of my trait, I was filled with fear towards him.

Black hair, black circles drawn on white eyes.

Pale and dark… contradictory colors.

Although he had a strong and huge body, for some reason, I felt that he was weak and fragile on the inside.

He grabs my wrist with one of his huge hands and my face with another.

And, he wrapped his other hand around my waist… wait, what?

‘…He has more than two hands?’

He looked at my expression and burst into laughter.

“Skyler, unlike you, your friend is fun to tease.”

“Stop it.”

“…What’s the relationship between you two?”

“It’s not like that.”

“You don’t have to hide it from me! We’re old comrades!”

“Propertius.”

“Alright. I’m sorry.”

When Skyler warned him with a sharp look, he withdrew his hands. The sensation I felt on my waist disappeared like a ghost.

…What kind of ability is that?

It’s different from magic. I couldn’t feel any mana. Holy power, then? That’s even more unlikely. Holy power should at least be holy, right?

This person’s appearance and behavior were far from holy or reverent.

I even doubt if he’s a priest in the first place.

Skyler approached me.

There were two things I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t ask them here.

He examined my body closely and sighed.

It was more of a sigh of relief than disappointment.

‘…Concern? For me?’

Skyler put his mouth to my ear.

I felt a slightly warm breath, and my body flinched a little.

More importantly, why are our eye levels the same… Ah, I had unknowingly bent one leg. Scared and pathetic.

My pride was hurt.

“It doesn’t matter if your eyes are discovered, but try not to let them be seen.”

“…Okay.”

With Skyler’s warning, the strange encounter ended.

After Propertius disappeared, we cleaned and organized the church and started preparing for bed.

It was a strangely sleepless night.

I hear a suspicious noise from outside.