Surviving as a Trash Bard in a Game

The edge of the North.

A dangerous place that only the “real” adventurers seek out, among those romantic fools who are crazy for money, women, and fame.

Adventurers who hadn’t visited this city used to be called fakes, but since the number of adventurers who came to this city in the first place was so small, such a derogatory term is no longer used.

Where did I hear such rumors?

…While waiting for Skyler and Nisha, the drunken old man sitting next to me was babbling on about it.

‘Why did it turn out like this?’

Yeah. I can understand.

Since we asked for ‘all’ the available requests.

Did Skyler or I do that? No, of course not. Are we crazy?

That woman who is annoyingly attached to Skyler’s side asked for it.

‘More than that, platinum, of all things.’

If this damn kid had told me she was an acquaintance, he should have told me that much in advance. How did he become acquainted with a platinum adventurer who is equal to a noble?

I thought it was an unusual weapon… but I didn’t know it was to this extent.

Assuming the setting is the same as the previous work, a platinum adventurer is an honorary noble corresponding to the title of baron among the five ranks of nobility. At the same time, they are considered a national military force.

Like when comparing the military power of each country, they say how many tanks or aircraft carriers they have.

In this world, that is replaced by how many platinum adventurers or tower masters they have.

‘Anyway, they won’t come until they’ve read everything.’

When the nun lifted that huge mountain of requests with her thin arms, I suspected that I was having a hallucination due to mental illness.

More than that, why am I the only one left here to read the requests?

We’re going to carry out the requests together anyway. I have a right too!

‘Unfair. It’s unfair.’

I’m feeling down.

Let’s just drink some alcohol and kill time.

***

Skyler and Nisha looked at each other.

In the adventurer’s guild, there was an empty room provided only to some special personnel. Its existence was unknown unless you were the head of the guild, and entry was impossible unless you were platinum or some VIP.

Nisha and Skyler were now in that room.

Nisha lightly held a bundle of papers in one hand and threw a topic at Skyler.

“Skyler, do you have a lover?”

“Who knows.”

“Yeah. With your personality, you wouldn’t have a lover, let alone friends. I know everything.”

“…Nisha.”

“Anyway, what’s her name? What kind of person is she? What’s her job? Adventurer grade? How is she?”

“Is this an investigation?”

“Don’t be so wary. It’s just pure curiosity.”

“Selina, an ordinary country bard. Her adventurer grade is copper, as she just started. She’s reasonably honest… an easy person to take advantage of.”

After Skyler finished speaking, Nisha immediately threw the bundle of papers she was holding onto the floor.

Skyler was startled for a moment, but soon managed his expression and behavior.

Skyler’s face and body stiffened as if he were wearing a thick mask.

Nisha began to interrogate Skyler again with sharp eyes.

In her hand was a cross-shaped spear.

…The wind blew over their skin.

“Let’s get to the point. What is ‘that’?”

“It’s not an object.”

“Yeah. It’s a person. But she’s carrying something more precious than a human life. Not only that, but how many curses and blessings does she have…? What’s her identity? That woman.”

“…Let’s just say she’s a companion.”

Skyler immediately understood the meaning of Nisha’s words.

‘Her eyes are already exposed. Then, it’s better to assume that Propertius has already noticed as well. More than that, this person also couldn’t figure out the types of curses and blessings?’

There were certainly hunters who collected divine bodies, but the woman in front of him and Propertius were not interested in divine bodies.

It was natural.

They were at the scene where the god’s body was excavated.

They couldn’t possibly covet it.

There was no one at the scene who would covet the divine body after seeing the end of the one who wanted all of it.

“That damn king has already stolen your heart, and other forces are also moving significantly.”

“Why?”

“You know too. Divine bodies attract each other like magnets, and eventually scatter again. Anyway, what I want to say is, in this situation—”

“I know. I have no choice but to know.”

“You were at the scene, but you look quite different. You’ve gotten younger.”

“Do you have to poke at such a painful fact?”

“I won’t ask how you were able to find another divine body without having one yourself, or why the eye of a god that wasn’t at the scene is with her.”

“…”

“But, if what you’re plotting is related to gathering all the divine bodies… I will stop you.”

The wind swirls around Nisha.

The air is sharp like a blade. Just being grazed by the wind tears the skin, wounds open, and blood flows. This was… the power of Nisha’s divine body.

Achilles tendon.

The tendon that does the hardest work, and a part that causes problems at least once in a lifetime.

Even in such a storm, Skyler calmly continued speaking.

“I’m not gathering all the divine bodies. I can’t gather them, and I’m not trying to. If you’re suspicious, you can place a contract on me. I’m not lying right now.”

“Okay. I’ll believe you.”

“And, don’t try to waste your precious one-time use on me. What on earth…”

“It’s because it’s precious that I’m using it on you.”

“…”

The wind stopped.

The two found a suitable request from the pile of requests and pulled it out.

The request clearly stated ‘gold’ on it.

Skyler looked at Nisha for a moment.

“What are you thinking? We already talked about her, and she’s a copper right now.”

“It’s fine. I’ll make her a silver tag very quickly.”

“What?”

Skyler couldn’t understand.

It was unfortunate for Selina, but Skyler soon understood what Nisha meant.

***

—It’s uncomfortable.

In a dark, damp… and at the same time comfortable place, I was lying still without moving. Rest, stopping, was this comfortable.

But that comfort didn’t last long.

I felt dizzy as if someone was forcibly grabbing and shaking my body.

I opened my eyes in the place I thought was a cave, and a ray of light entered my eyes. I slowly blinked and looked around.

I saw two familiar faces, and a familiar ceiling and scenery.

“She’s finally awake. Skyler, your friend really sleeps a lot?”

“…So it seems.”

“More than that, tell her she doesn’t need to use that uncomfortable scroll.”

“Ah, Selina. Your eyes are already exposed.”

A familiar voice.

Only then could I grasp the situation.

‘…Narcolepsy.’

Ah, I fell asleep again.

Exposed? That means I don’t have to cover my perfect looks with that uncomfortable scroll.

Still, I have to use the scroll when there are ordinary people or other adventurers, but at least it’s okay in front of those people.

More than that, the fact that those two came to the first floor means they finally chose a request. I hope it’s a request I can at least do my share of.

No, strictly speaking, even if I don’t step up, that platinum adventurer nun will take care of it… but it doesn’t suit my nature to just sit and do nothing and receive compensation.

Yeah. I want to do something a little more adventurer-like and honestly do my share. That kind of feeling.

“Are you done?”

“Yeah. We chose.”

“…?”

She showed me the request, and at the same time, my brain stopped thinking. No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t understand.

–

[ Grade: Gold ]

[ The lake of the dark forest has a voice. ]

[ There have been reports of a voice coming from the lake. There is no time limit for the request, and the reward will be given to the first to subdue it. ]

[ The lake water is alive and highly acidic. However, it is not enough to melt bones or metal. ]

[ Confirmed characteristics are a body that is immune to magic, spirit-type mental attacks, and physical attacks, and the ability to absorb the corpses of dead adventurers and mimic their abilities. ]

[ 10 denarions ]

–

10 denarions.

10 silver coins… 2.5 gold coins… an irresistible amount.

But, the problem is.

‘Why on earth is the grade gold?!’

Does this person not know that I’m a copper adventurer? Didn’t Skyler tell her? They chose it together in the first place! Does this make any sense!

No, okay. Let’s say the grade was a mistake—I can understand that much.

But physical attack immunity? Mimicking the abilities of those killed? Even mental attacks?

‘No matter how I think about it, it’s at least mid-boss level traits.’

No matter how much I think about it, if I just follow this request, I only see a future where I die. Should I just politely refuse and tell them to go solve it themselves?

Skyler and that pretty nun, alone… on a request… send them…?

For some reason, I felt like my body was sinking. My chest felt tight, and every time I breathed, it felt like something was caught in my throat.

Since I was just standing there without saying anything, Nisha spoke first.

“What are you misunderstanding? Of course, it’s impossible with your current skills. You don’t even have the authority to accept it since you are copper, right?.”

“Then why…?”

“I’m going to make you a silver-grade adventurer within a week.”

At that time, I still didn’t know.

What kind of hell awaited me.