Surviving as a Trash Bard in a Game

“Kyaaaakㅡ!”

I’m out of breath. The sun was already directly above my head, and my stomach was grumbling for food. But my mouth was busy screaming, let alone eating.

“Help me! Help me!”

“I won’t kill you!”

Bang!

Why is there an explosion sound from a weapon wielded by a person? Why is there dust rising? Why is the ground caving in? Is that even a human?!

My mouth was filled with dirt, dust, and messy hair. There was no time to spit it out before the next attack came.

Nisha was taking it very easy.

It was obvious even at a glance that she was going easy on me… attacking me with a lot of her strength held back.

Of course, I knew that the Platinum rank was amazing. It was a setting that existed in the previous work, and it was the only knowledge that was still useful in the sequel.

But… but…

‘I didn’t know it would be like this!’

The tip of the spear is swung next to me. The wind is literally shredded. Every time it was swung lightly, the wind split and made a whooshing sound.

If I were to be hit directly by that spear, I wouldn’t just be split in half and die, but I would become a lump of meat or mush that used to be a person.

–

Searching for possibilities.

–

I could tell instinctively.

I’m going to dieㅡ!

“You’re dodging better than I thought.”

“W-When facing the c-crisis of death, the body tends to move well, you know?!”

“This is a crisis of death?”

“Yes!”

“You still have the energy to shout at the top of your lungs? This definitely isn’t a crisis of death. When a crisis of death comes, you don’t even have the energy to open your mouth.”

No, even when I die, I will die screaming.

I swear on my gender.

Even if a crisis of death comes, I will scream really loudly!

“Kyaaaakㅡ!”

“If you keep running away like a rat… you can’t do that!”

She shouted, and the dust began to slowly rise from the ground, centered around a vortex similar to a storm.

The sand and dust were so thick that they obscured my vision.

But I could see.

For some reason, I could see. Even if the sand and dust covered my eyes, they couldn’t hide the essence, so I could always read the opponent’s actions, form, and next attack.

Saliva flows from my slightly open mouth. Tears flowed from my eyes. Focus.

Whoosh!

A round hole opens in the space through the thick dust.

A golden spear is thrust through the hole.

Not dying in a glorious battle, not dying in a brave charge, not suffering an unfortunate fate at the hands of a monster during an adventure, but just dying during training?

That’s… embarrassing!

I turn my head to the side… and dodge it.

“…How.”

“I don’t know either.”

“Interesting.”

Nisha smiled.

It was an ominous smile.

As if this wasn’t the end… as if she was going to test my limits, she declared it with a smile.

A smile similar to that of a child who has a toy they want.

Yes! Right now, I was completely treated like a toy!

“Skyler, if you think it’s dangerous, stop.”

“Yes?”

“If you activate a few of your scrolls at the same time, you can block one of my attacks, right?”

“You want me to burn that much money on training?”

“Yes.”

Nisha finished giving instructions to Skyler, who was watching from the side, and straightened her posture.

Her posture, whether it was because of the neat nun’s habit she was wearing, or because of the cross-shaped spear, made her look a little like a person praying.

And, she disappeared from my sight to the right.

I could recognize that she had disappeared from my sight and in which direction she had disappeared, but recognition and response are completely different dimensions.

Even if I can see it, if I can’t move my body, it’s useless.

I can’t use my instrument. Even if I buff myself with a performance or debuff her, she isn’t an opponent I can beat.

‘Besides, I left it behind because I was afraid it would get damaged.’

So, what can I do? Block the spear that is thrust at a speed I can barely see with this flimsy dagger in my hand, and even link it to an attack?

Are you crazy? Do you think I can do that?

It’s a miracle that I’m even holding on with these meager stats!

My stamina is already depleted, and I have no strength left. There’s nothing I can do… no, no. There is one thing.

I immediately channeled mana into my eyes.

The scroll comes off, and my pink eyes sparkle.

‘Charm!’

She was a person with strong willpower, and a Platinum adventurer in the first place, so I don’t expect her to be charmed by this.

It was a wild attempt without the TRPG adjustments of the status window and the choices, and even if there were adjustments, I wouldn’t be able to succeed unless the dice rolled a 20.

So… just making her pause for a moment is enough!

‘Even if she pauses for a moment, I can defend against attacks that are visible to the naked eye. In that case…!’

I immediately threw off the black cloak I was wearing. There was dust around me, and a black cloak in front of me. Her vision was now completely blocked.

With my charm, her body stopped in mid-air for a moment, so she has no way to escape.

In the middle of the cloak.

I stab the dagger… where she should be.

No, to be precise, the moment I was about to stab.

Pop.

With a cute sound, my attack is blocked by something.

It was magic.

The scroll thrown by Skyler activated, and strange fluff came out of the scroll.

“…D-Did I get her?”

“You shouldn’t say things like that without confirming the kill.”

Nisha hit me on the head from behind.

Ouch.

Tears welled up in my eyes.

I immediately turned around and glared at her. My eyes were still glowing with mana.

She avoided my gaze for a moment, then hit me on the head again.

It hurt even more.

“Ow.”

“You’re overusing your eyes.”

“But this was the only way to win.”

“No, it wasn’t the only way.”

“More importantly, how did you dodge that?”

“I just slammed the spear into the ground and jumped over your head using the principle of pole vaulting, then landed. It’s easy once you know the trick.”

It doesn’t look easy at all.

‘Is she crazy?’

Is she really human? And she didn’t even use her divine body? Seriously?

I suddenly feel depressed.

This is talent. An overwhelming wall. No matter how hard I try, I won’t be like her—this thought seems to be growing, using negative thoughts as fertilizer.

Still, I held on this long against a Platinum adventurer. Yes. Let’s have confidence. This isn’t like me! I’m not a woman who is fickle like a reed, but a man who is solid like a large tree.

Is that a discriminatory remark?

I was just getting beaten up badly by a woman a moment ago. Cut me some slack.

“Ah.”

“Hm?”

“More importantly, what kind of technique did you use?”

“…?”

“No, um… there are schools and guilds for swordsmanship and spearmanship, right? The basic postures and attacks have names.”

“I just swung it.”

“Yes?”

“If I thrust with a proper posture, I might make a mistake in control. I just swung it casually.”

…A normal attack?

The attacks that I barely managed to dodge with all my might, the attacks that were hard to even catch with my eyes, were just normal attacks?

Ah.

My world collapsed today.

***

After the training, I collapsed in the church.

‘There isn’t a single place that doesn’t hurt.’

Bones, joints, muscles, flesh, my whole body.

I used a bit of mana, so my blood vessels and eyes hurt as a price.

If the status forcefully lowers my intelligence again, my head will probably throb too.

At this point, I’m like a walking general hospital.

Cough.

…?

Something felt like it was blocking my throat.

I immediately sat up straight. I raised my body from lying down, coughed loudly, scratched my throat, and made a gurgling soundI immediately sat up straight. I raised my body from lying down, coughed loudly, scratched my throat, and made a gurgling sound.

But something was still blocking my throat.

I struggled for a while, and finally, the mysterious object that was blocking my throat popped out.

Ptooey.

A red lump, no, it was blood.

I immediately looked around. No one was looking at me. I quickly started cleaning up.

I didn’t necessarily need to hide it, but I just didn’t want to show my weakness to others. I just didn’t expect it to be this bad.

‘…The penalty of the minus status.’

Because my health and strength were negative… did my condition worsen because I moved my body too much?

I crushed the clotted blood with the thick heel of my shoe, wiped the now liquid black and red liquid with the end of my cloak, and threw it away in the forest near the church.

Just in case it’s discovered. Should I bury it for now?

I scraped the dirt with both hands and covered it with the black cloth.

‘I need to head to the capital soon.’

I need to gather money and quickly obtain items that increase my status. If I don’t hurry, the penalty will gradually tighten its grip around my neck.

I’m slowly running out of time to leisurely kill time like this.

After roughly wiping the blood flowing from my nose with my hand, I checked my appearance in the mirror.

I felt someone’s gaze, but it must have been my imagination.

There was no one around.