Sweet Shot

#12

He studied hard, thinking it was his escape route. He only thought about studying hard to get into a good university and escape that hell. He thought if he was at least good at studying, they might look down on him less. He studied until he got nosebleeds, and that habit was simply ingrained in him.

Even now, if he had to give a reason for working hard, it was for the academic scholarship. He wanted to reduce relying on his parents. He had caused them so much worry… He just wanted to repay them in this way. As these thoughts chained together, memories of the past would surface, and each time he remembered that suffocating period. Ironically, every time this happened, there was someone he wanted to see. Now as then. The person who had taken root in a corner of his heart.

**

Eun-soo forcibly dragged Ha-min to a gathering where student council seniors and even graduates were coming. She insisted on creating connections for him, who didn’t join any clubs and didn’t participate in any external activities. Ha-min refused once due to lack of sleep, but it didn’t work. Ha-min eventually agreed and quietly followed. He wasn’t the type to persistently refuse when someone was trying to look after him.

The ordinary bar in Daehakro was incredibly noisy. It was overflowing with people he had never seen before, and as soon as they arrived, Eun-soo was called here and there. The characteristic smell of the bar wafted around, and loud pop songs blared. The atmosphere was completely different from the lounge bar he had gone to with Tae-in recently. It was just a common bar in Daehakro.

Eun-soo sat Ha-min at an empty table and said with an anxious face:

“Oppa, stay right here. I’ll be back soon.”

Ha-min felt grateful but sorry for her desperate attempt to look after him. Chae-rin and Woo-kyung were like that too, of course, but Eun-soo took it a step further. He was grateful to her from the moment she first spoke to him.

“Don’t worry about me and go. I’ll chat with people too.”

Ha-min casually blurted out these thoughtless words, relieving Eun-soo of her concern. Eun-soo’s face brightened as she asked, “You will?” As soon as Eun-soo turned away, Ha-min drank some cold water. As he was fiddling with his water glass and looking around, he heard a familiar voice.

“What brings you here, hyung?”

Looking up at the familiar voice, Ha-min saw Cha Jun-seong, who had recognized him. His gaze was a mix of unpleasant and surprised.

“Just… you know.”

“Ah, Ha Eun-soo dragged you here, right?”

Cha Jun-seong naturally sat across from him. Then he asked again in a voice that suggested he had expected as much. Ha-min answered with an awkward smile.

Cha Jun-seong immediately opened a bottle of soju that was on the table.

“Are you perhaps dating Ha Eun-soo?”

He took out a glass and poured soju. As he pushed it towards Ha-min and asked, Ha-min’s eyes widened.

“What are you… No, it’s not like that.”

“Then with Kang Chae-rin?”

It was a question filled with not just simple curiosity but a probing nature. Ha-min flustered, waving his hands vigorously. He strongly denied it, worried that misunderstandings that could trouble them might spread.

“What are you talking about? It’s not like that.”

“Then why do you hang around with girls like a loser?”

Cha Jun-seong asked with an innocent smile, as if he was really curious.

…Ha-min finally saw the malice in the person in front of him. He had known from before that this person didn’t view him favorably. It wasn’t just Cha Jun-seong. He often felt the disapproving glances from the male classmates in his department, occasionally overhearing their conversations.

“…What are you trying to say?”

Ha-min looked down at the soju glass in front of him. Malice. The negative emotions that always pressed down on him always made things difficult.

“Nothing, just. It’s funny to see you always sticking to girls.”

“Shall we drink?” He casually offered a drink while saying these unpleasant words. Ha-min’s hand holding the soju glass trembled slightly.

“What, why aren’t you drinking? Don’t want to drink with me? Should I call Ha Eun-soo?”

Cha Jun-seong sneered, even mocking him. He tapped the table with his soju glass, smiling unpleasantly. Ha-min bit his lip hard before picking up the glass.

“…I’ll drink.”

Ha-min downed the drink in one go, worried that Eun-soo might be affected. Cha Jun-seong smirked and also took a shot. Then he immediately poured more. Even with one glass, Ha-min felt his throat burning, but looking at Cha Jun-seong’s fast pace, he saw him smiling slyly.

“I’ve wanted to drink with you for a while. They say drinking with a handsome person feels good, the girls do.”

“…”

“I was curious if it was really true.”

There was a clear tone of mockery. Then he raised his glass and clinked it against Ha-min’s with a loud sound. And he looked at Ha-min with a strangely oppressive gaze. As if to say, what are you waiting for, drink.

Ha-min gritted his teeth and downed the second glass. The spreading alcohol taste felt nauseating. It was completely different from the wine he had at the lounge bar with Tae-in recently, even in how it went down his throat.

As he tilted his head back and forcibly swallowed the alcohol, he felt an unpleasant gaze scanning him. His brow furrowed at the gaze that swept from the tip of his nose to his collarbone. But not wanting to react, he didn’t say anything out loud, and then he heard more sarcastic words.

“Hyung, you really are handsome.”

Ha-min’s brow furrowed even more at this seemingly sincere compliment. The glint in his eyes was far from pure.

“Your neckline is very, how should I say… white. It’s kind of sexy. Like… ah, you know those things in porn?”

Fat bastard, pig bastard, lard bastard. He had heard such insults before, but this kind of harassment was a first, and Ha-min’s face flushed with shame.

People with malice were mostly like this. They were good at saying the most unpleasant things and didn’t consider the listener’s position at all. As if they specialized in such things.

“Ah, I’m not teasing, I’m just curious. It’s a compliment, a compliment.”

Cha Jun-seong added with a giggle, seeing Ha-min’s face hardening. Ha-min let out a small sigh at this tactic of throwing mud and then pretending it wasn’t intentional, making it so the victim couldn’t say anything.

Ha-min deliberately held back and just kept drinking. He felt that if he responded, it would only cause a commotion. He purposely ignored the words, worried that Eun-soo, who had brought him here out of consideration, would only be put in an awkward position.

**

“Oppa, are you okay?”

Everything was spinning in front of his eyes. Eun-soo’s worried face looking at him became two, then three. Oh my, so many faces.

“There are… too many,” Ha-min mumbled, opening his eyes drowsily.

“There are many… Eun-soo.”

Pointing at Eun-soo’s face with his finger and mumbling seriously, she let out a short sigh.

“You’re incredibly drunk.”

She put her hand to her forehead. Ha-min shook his head with a red face.

“No, I’m fine. Really. It’s true. Really.”

Eun-soo chuckled at his response repeating the same words.

“That’s your drinking habit, oppa. Repeating the same words.”

“But I don’t have drinking habits…”

When Eun-soo returned after getting drinks from her seniors and receiving bits of advice-like nagging from each of them, Ha-min was already out of it. In that short time? Incredulous, she looked at Cha Jun-seong sitting across, but he just shrugged, raising both hands as if he knew nothing. She knew that Cha Jun-seong’s group didn’t view Ha-min favorably usually, but she had nothing particular to say. After all, he had drunk the alcohol himself.

“Oppa’s house… ah, I don’t know.”

“…I don’t know either.”

“What are you saying? What do we do if you don’t know?”

“…Don’t know.”

Ha-min mumbled, repeating the same words. Sensing this wouldn’t do, Eun-soo asked again.

“Is there nowhere we can contact? Ah, should we call Tae-in oppa… Give me your phone, oppa.”

“…I’m really fine, Eun-soo. Really, Eun-soo. Eun-soo, I’m sorry.”

“What are you saying, why are you sorry to me?”

“Sorry, sorry.”

Eun-soo shook her head at his sudden apology. He wasn’t passed out, but he was definitely drunk. She had known he was vulnerable to alcohol for a while. She had seen it once at a department gathering. He had mumbled nonsense constantly before passing out… If Tae-in hadn’t come to pick him up then, it could have been a big problem.

“Oppa, is there nowhere else to call besides Tae-in oppa?”

She asked again, feeling that she would feel sorry if they had to rely on Tae-in again, like last time. At this, Ha-min’s drowsy eyes blinked.

“Ah…”

‘Next time this happens, call hyung.’

He remembered what Tae-rim had said to him the morning after he had relied on Tae-in.

“Hyung…”

Eun-soo tilted her head at his muttering words along with a thoughtful face.

“Hyung? Which hyung?”

She asked again as she couldn’t hear clearly, but Ha-min didn’t answer. Eun-soo let out a small sigh and grabbed Ha-min’s shoulders firmly, speaking clearly. As if to make it stick in his intoxicated mind.

“Oppa, I’m going to buy some hangover medicine, so just wait here for a bit. Okay?”

She gripped Ha-min’s shoulders tightly, telling him to remember. Ha-min nodded slightly with his head down. His mind was already full of other thoughts.

Hyung… said to call him. Ha-min suddenly fiddled with his phone, recalling the previous memory. At the same time, he realized, so this is what being drunk feels like… Feeling an irresistible impulse. The kind of impulse that’s hard to control…

Ha-min’s hand moved on its own. He unlocked the screen and pressed the address book. There weren’t many saved numbers anyway. Mom, Dad, Tae-in, Eun-soo, Woo-kyung, Chae-rin… Tae-rim hyung.