The cruel world (fanfic)

Chapter 4: Chapter 4 - Defiance



Mikasa's PoV

Mikasa was sweeping the floor of her room with an old broom, which she shared with Isabel – a member of Levi's team – the girl picked up a white handkerchief over her mouth and nose to keep her lungs out of dust coughing and started to clean up. While Levi and his squad were doing all sorts of jobs, Mikasa was responsible for cleaning her room, which she shared with Isabel, in addition to recovering strength. Not that Mikasa complained or anything – she was still living in much better conditions than she had when she worked in the brothel. There was no smell of rot or the scent of dead bodies – there was also no dirt sticking to the corners of small rooms, which were used not only for living but also for receiving customers.

The exception was Mikasa, because her room was connected by a small bridge to the apartment of Marina – her mentor – it was hard to call her a guardian, or even a parent – of course, she had an eye on Mikasa, but she did not have her best interests in mind. Not like the girl's dead parents, anyway. Mikasa saw Marina in this way – until Levi told her that it was her, terrified and panicked that began to look for the Asian girl. Marina also carried her to Levi's house. From that moment on, Mikasa was confused – was it Marina who really cared about her so much? Or was she simply afraid that her boss would beat her to pulp for not keeping an eye on her?

The girl tried not to think about it and tried to focus on the positives. She could take a bath, she had water and soap – she could drink tea, which was worth its weight in gold in a brothel. That's why Mikasa also preferred alcoholic drinks – although there were unpleasant side effects from drinking wine or beer (hangover), it was still better than the murky water that Mikasa got from the surface.

Mikasa looked at her clothes – her old dress, which she usually wore during her days in brothel was no longer usable, so instead she was given a white long-sleeved shirt and plain red pants from Isabel – but Mikasa kept her jacket, which resembled a worn out coat.

Without much encouragement, Mikasa got to work – Levi may have been her family, but it didn't change the fact that he was simply an asshole – not only rude, but also vulgar, because he swore like a sailor. Well, it seemed like the years of working as a criminal were doing their job. Oddly enough, Levi, despite being born in the Underground, was such a pedant that it bordered on a maniacal obsession with cleanliness – Mikasa had seen a lot of quirks, but this was just surprising.

Mikasa often didn't see Levi, and because he had his hands full of work due to numerous commissions, but she definitely felt indebted to him – he saved her from the hell that was the brothel where she worked in. She ran away from there.

 And she wasn't going to look back.

When the girl finished sweeping and mopping the floor, Mikasa decided to go out for a while – to break away from her duties for a while and not to read, because she didn't feel like it. Mikasa took her jacket off the hanger, tucked her shirt into her pants, and set off.

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The stench and smell of the Underground wasn't any pleasant, especially when you went down to the slums – the Underground was poor as hell, but the slums in the east showed new levels of misery – for this reason, Mikasa tried to avoid walking on the eastern side of the Underground.

There was a brothel in the south, where she had previously worked in, so she was left with the northern part of the Underground – it was even a pleasant walk, for such stalemate conditions. In one of the side alleys, although skinny, but still, children were playing with a ball and then hide and seek. It was heartwarming for her to some extent – it gave her warmth and a spark of hope. That doesn't mean it killed the emptiness Mikasa felt.

From the coppers that Mikasa found in her jacket pocket, the girl bought herself two slices of dark stale bread as provisions for the return journey. But Mikasa turned out to be inattentive – she forgot what a cruel place the Underground is. How merciless the world is.

 Mikasa walked along a muddy, bumpy path, but she tried to avoid the infamous alleys. The girl took a slice of stale bread out of her pocket and was about to start eating it until she noticed two men behind her.

They looked like average inhabitants of the Underground, thirsty and starving, with sagging clothes and peculiar missing teeth. One was bald with sickly pale skin, and the other with his hair tied in a ponytail and a lot of old scars on his arms, neck or legs.

They didn't really ask for her opinion, but got to work – they snatched the bread from the girl's hand, threw her against the wall of the building like a doll, looking at her body with hungry eyes. Mikasa knew those looks all too well after years spent working in a brothel.

"Behave yourself, or else..." – warned the bald man and took a knife from his sleeve

Mikasa tried to drift away, to make her mind wander somewhere far away from this situation – she wanted not to see anything, she didn't want to hear anything – the girl wanted to close her eyes and disappear.

Then a voice appeared in the back of my head, which quickly began to dominate.

Why do I have to endure this? Why can't I stand up to these perverts?

Why can't I fight?

 Mikasa started throwing herself in all directions, kicking when the men, surprised for a moment, jumped away from her – the girl saw this as an opportunity to run, but she didn't have enough time to do it. Instead, with a glint of defiance in her empty eyes, she bit the man with the ponytail in his right hand.

The men were speechless, then Mikasa felt a fist hit her stomach – then another on her left cheek – then a kick to the calf – the girl fell to the ground, and an avalanche of blows flooded her whole.

What now?

A blow to the right side, then a kick to the stomach.

Do I want to live or die?

Mikasa didn't have much time and she knew it.

Only one of these two wishes can be fulfilled.

Mikasa opened her eyes and saw only the hell of the Underground.

If I wanted to die, I wouldn't stop the bleeding from the wounds I inflicted on myself.

Something went through Mikasa's spine.

Fight. Fight to live. Show those fuckers that I want to live. And I will fight to survive this hell.

Mikasa raised her bruised right hand, like she was reaching somewhere.

Fight, Mikasa! I didn't endure years of working in that brothel for that! Fight to live! – she told herself

It was as if an arc of electricity had pierced Mikasa's body – suddenly, out of nowhere, the girl felt an absurd amount of strength, and all her senses sharpened – the Asian girl had full control over her body like never before.

Mikasa tightened her hand on the bald man's hand and pushed it away without difficulty, then stood up – she threw the bald man against the wall, just like he had thrown her before and twisted his arm behind his back – the bones cracked, but Mikasa was not going to let go. She turned his head towards hers and broke his nose with her fist – and at the very end kicked with her foot in his stomach. The bald man collapsed half-conscious to the ground, crying and begging for forgiveness.

- You can shove this forgiveness into my ass – Mikasa growled coldly – Get the hell out of here before I start doubting my mercy

Mikasa turned in the direction where her other tormentor had been earlier – he was standing leaning against the wall, shaking all over his body with the knife that fell to the ground. Before the man knew what he had done, Mikasa was faster – she picked up the knife from the ground and executed three clean cuts on the body of her other tormentor – on the arm, neck and face – exhausted Mikasa just wanted to end it and plunged the knife blade into his chin, hearing the metal cut through the bone, flesh and cartilage. The tip of the knife protruded from the bridge of the nose of the man with the ponytail – Mikasa yanked the knife out and threw the dead corpse into the corner.

"That's the strength to fight" Mikasa thought

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Mikasa was sitting in a chair in the kitchen at Levi's house, trying to tend to her wounds – when she got to the quarters, she was barely alive so much she could see the scotomas before her eyes. Marina taught her how to dress wounds – in case the client turned out to be brutal enough.

When the girl finished dressing her injuries, she looked at the knife on the table – the same one she used to kill the man with the ponytail. When she felt this strength to fight, Mikasa felt like she could do anything – for the first time in her life, Mikasa felt strong enough to fight for herself and win.

Mikasa tightened her fingers on the handle of the knife and slid it into her shoe—when the girl would leave, this blade would always accompany her—in life-and-death situations, as before. When she opposed her desire to die and chose the latter, the wish to live.

Then the girl heard the creak of the door opening and in the entrance she saw Isabel first, then there was Furlan, and finally Levi – Isabel was the first to realize that something had happened to Mikasa.

"What happened to you?!"– Isabel screamed, surprised

"What I needed" – Mikasa replied shortly


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