The cruel world (fanfic)

Mikasa, Isabel and Furlan were sitting at the kitchen table, playing cards – Furlan was winning, but Mikasa was close to catching up with him – Isabel and Furlan were laughing at the top of their lungs, it hurt Mikasa not to be able to smile or laugh, if you count the crooked grimace, which should resemble a smile. Mikasa had long forgotten what a smile and the feeling it felt meant.

It had been four weeks since Mikasa had first shown that she would fight for her life – even if it meant staining her hands with blood – but Isabel and Furlan still felt as if the Asian was more of a ghost than a human.

Mikasa didn't say much, she answered in half-words – she often closed herself off, drifting somewhere far away with her thoughts – her gaze was just as cold and empty, but somewhere inside that gaze there was a glint of defiance against the cruel world.

On the plus side, Mikasa had gained weight and her wounds had mostly healed, although dark gray bruises continued to mark her body – the girl didn't pay attention to it – when someone mentioned this incident, Mikasa talked about it calmly and even frighteningly normal. As if it wasn't a big deal that she was beaten to half-consciousness.

Therefore, Isabel and Furlan decided to teach her how to play cards, despite Levi's protests, believing that this would only attract her to gambling. Furlan agreed with Levi in his mind, but he wanted Mikasa to settle in here –because of her blank gaze, devoid of all hope, Furlan knew that Mikasa wouldn't survive here for long. She had to be made to be "reborn" again – not as a shell of person, but as a living and breathing human being.

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Mikasa's PoV

Mikasa sat at the table playing another card game with Furlan and Isabel – first they started with the war, and now the two were teaching and mentoring her in the game of poker and the best ways to cheat effectively – Mikasa was never attracted to gambling, seeing what it was doing to people, though she agreed to play with Furlan and Isabel anyway. Not that she likes card games, but to kill some time and not to read the same fairy tale book for the hundredth time.

As Isabel shuffled the cards for the next game, Mikasa's thoughts drifted back to before her parents' murder – specifically, to the moment her mother carved a mark on her wrist – the same one her mother had told her to hide.

Mikasa thought for a long time about the reason – but she had no basis nor sources to find the truth.

 As a habit, Mikasa checked under the sleeve of her shirt to see if the mark was still hidden – she breathed a silent sigh of relief when she saw that her wrist was still bandaged.

The girl took a sip of the steaming tea, the taste of which still surprised her, which was met with surprised looks from Isabel and Furlan. They didn't know how hard it was to get tea in the brothel and that she had to rely on alcoholic drinks to avoid being poisoned by the murky water she got from the surface.

Mikasa also checked if the knife was still in her left shoe – she ran the lower part of her foot over the insole and felt the cold steel of the blade and the wooden handle of the knife. Everything was in place – if someone were to attack her, Mikasa would be able to defend herself.

The Asian subconsciously drifted off to her friends – Eren and Armin. The first one was the son of a doctor, and the second one was a blond boy who had quite a large collection of illegal books. The girl was curious if they were still alive when she was struggling in this hellhole to survive.

Mikasa crossed her arms over her chest and stared at some point in the distance of the kitchen – when Isabel and Furlan began to argue that Isabel shuffled the cards incorrectly, Mikasa felt as if she was behind a wall.

When Mikasa woke up from the faze, she closed her eyes to stop the flood of bad memories – this was always the case when the girl started to reminisce. As if her mind was not able to focus on the good memories, but also returned to the bad ones that were the cause of her nightmares.

Then Mikasa heard the front door creak and Levi walked into the hall, when he was cleaning his knife from dark red blood – he had a small cut on his right temple, but besides that he looked fine. Anyways, for him, because he himself had such an aura around him that got under Mikasa's skin from irritation.

Then the blade Levi was cleaning flew across the room with deadly speed – Mikasa, guided by instinct and intuition, just as quickly took the knife out of her shoe and countered the knife with the blade of her knife. Levi's knife got stabbed into the floor panels, and Furlan and Isabel got up from their chairs and glued themselves into a one of the walls of the room.

"Quick reaction and good intuition," Levi commented and quickly pulled his knife out of the floor panels, "This will be useful to you, Mikasa."

Mikasa looked at him like a madman, but her gaze was still blank – the difference was that she had not had that little spark of defiance somewhere deep in her gaze.

"Get up, Mikasa" Levi ordered "We're starting your training."

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Mikasa picked up from the muddy ground, with a limbo on her right cheek – Levi really didn't spare her – it was hard to tell from the look on his face – whether he would slap you in the face, shake his head in resignation, or praise you (by his standards). Mikasa wrapped and adjusted the bandages on her knuckles when she was all battered and covered in wet (and dried) mud.

"You are acting too recklessly, not saving your strength for the later fight." Levi instructed her

Holy shit, Levi may have been her relative (and the last one alive), but the guy was painfully irritating and self-righteous.

Mikasa snorted in irritation, but she didn't give up, even if she had already been training for five hours – she got up from her knees and charged at her opponent. After several seconds, she landed on her ass again with a sore arm.

"How long did it take you to fight so well?" asked Mikasa casually

"A few years. Then, when I was alone, I trained even harder, training eight hours a day," Levi answered truthfully

"You mean you had an instructor before?" Mikasa quickly remarked, which Levi didn't expect from her

Levi didn't want to mention or even talk about Kenny and his... Levi didn't even know what to call him, because "guardian" wasn't the word he was looking for. Every mention of him made Levi remember the moment Kenny left him.

 "Get up, brat," Levi cut the subject short, "The training is not over."

Mikasa noticed a subtle change in his tone of voice and manner, but decided not to pursue the subject if it was something unpleasant. Without a word, the Asian girl stood up, took a fighting stance and went on to the attack.

Defending herself with her arm bent at the elbow, Mikasa swung from her right – Levi, however, blocked it and swung his leg. Then Mikasa felt her instincts take control of her and jumped high – while jumping, she tried to attack her opponent's exposed knee. Levi anticipated the attack and Mikasa felt his foot push her back in the chest area. But before Mikasa fell to the ground, she managed to hit Levi in the face with her right hand, curled into a fist.

Mikasa fell on her back, splashing mud that stuck to her back – the girl sighed, but sat cross-legged and touched the place where she had been hit – her chest.

"It wasn't bad, brat" – Levi commented – "For your first lessons, you're doing well. And now it's the end of the today's training and go take a bath from this mud."

Levi then noticed that Isabel and Furlan were sitting glued to the glass, watching the fight between him and Mikasa with genuine commitment.

Then he saw Mikasa's face – she had seen before.

 "Hey, this isn't a competition, brats!" – Levi called out in annoyance – "Get to work, or you'll be mopping the kitchen floor."

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The next day, in the evening, Mikasa was sitting at the kitchen table again – now she was playing poker with Isabel with considerable commitment, her thoughts no longer drifted far away, not considering the game only as a time killer. She had new bruises and scratches from today's training, but not the ones that needed dressing. She shuffled the cards, waiting for Levi and Furlan to appear—and as if on cue, the girl heard the front door creak—Furlan entered first. Tired but satisfied – it seemed that they had succeeded in completing the order. Just after him, Levi walked in with an inscrutable face

This surprised Mikasa – Levi may have been an asshole, but most of the emotions were recognizable from him – except for fear or joy. Levi was a fearless thug, so fear didn't fit his personality, and neither did joy. Life as a criminal, and especially in the hell of the Underworld, did not allow for joy.

Then a dark red cloth rolled into a ball flew across the room – Mikasa caught the ball in flight and unrolled it – it was a warm long scarf.

"It's... for me?" Mikasa asked quietly

 "And what do you think, brat?" – Levi replied with a question

Mikasa in disbelief, her hands shaking in shock, wrapped a new scarf around her neck and pulled the fabric under her nose. The scarf was warm and cozy – it reminded Mikasa of a safe home.

Tears welled up in Mikasa's eyes and she thanked him with a nod, still shaking. Then Levi noticed something he had been waiting for since Mikasa arrived here – the girl's eyes lit up with fire. Furlan must have noticed it too, because he raised his eyebrows in surprise – the Asian's gaze became alive, like a living man's.

Not like a ghost, and her gaze was filled with humanity.

"Thank you. For everything" Mikasa said in a voice swollen with emotion, her fingers tightening on the scarf