The lycan queen

Recap;:-

Crya is not the type to take mates from anyone, let alone her best friend, but you don't see me saying it out loud.

I chuckled before asking "is that all?"

"Yes" she replied.

 I hummed an OK before facing the other way and heading home. Some people are just plain wicked. No matter how good you make them out to be, they will still revert to their original state.

I just learned something people are unworthy of your trust and respect in them. While I just watch as she destroys the only good thing I see in her life.

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Crya's Pov:-

There are almost no words to describe the feeling of betrayal. It is a horrible, devastating feeling that I would compare to being punched in the gut or stabbed in the heart. It is that moment, seared in your mind forever, where the person you would take a bullet for is the one pulling the trigger.

"Did she just say I tried to seduce her mate" I inquired from no one in particular.

"Yes," Aurora stated the obvious.

"Why?" The moment I said that, Aurora grew quiet.

I felt a pain in my chest. I know this feeling. It hurts. It stings. You were rejected and betrayed by someone you thought you cared for, and you thought she cared for you too. Only to be on their target list for a crime you know nothing about. Making me think if she ever considered me her friend before. I don't know when or how it started, but uncontrollably tears streamed down my eyes like a waterfall.

"Don't think about the past, your memories, moments spent. Don't think about your future and how it could have been. She gave up on us. Once she has left us in a tough situation, it won't be hard for her to leave us again." Aurora chipped in.

It makes sense now, it was three days before my birthday and I got a beating because she argued with someone and pushed me on the front fire when the fight came. I was beaten beyond recognition and she just stood there the entire time. 

I asked her later why she didn't help me, and she said she didn't know, maybe because she was too scared to move her leg. I was livid, but not livid enough to forgive her when she gave me those puppy eyes and just an apology. And for a long while I believed it to be a mistake. Besides, she has a flawless family background, she wouldn't derail from her family's teachings. I was so wrong. 

"You might think otherwise for a short period of time. But ultimately she will leave. So think about it in this way. Even if you get her back, what good will it cause? Nothing right? You move on accepting the truth. It's going to be hard. Make new friends, smile more. Stick to the one who helped you in the worst times. Because they will make sure you are alright."

I stood up from my hiding spot, but still hiding enough not to be spotted, while I asked Aurora 

"Are you giving me lectures on friendship right now?" She ignored me and continued 

"Just remember one thing. One day will come, you will see only guilt and regret in their eyes. They will beg for your forgiveness. When that day comes, with a big heart, they forgive them. But don't ever make the mistake of trusting them again. It's like reading a novel again, you know exactly how it's going to end, no matter how many chances you give."

Bad. Really bad. Doubting your own sanity is kind of bad. Constantly feeling a spear in your chest - bad. Wanting to get away from the pain at any cost - bad. Feeling worthless - bad. Screaming in the shower - bad. Thinking about suicide - bad. The worst thing I ever experienced - bad

And here I was still doubting my own sanity. I mean, I had every evidence laid out on the table and I can see very well that this is what she had become, yet I still doubt my sanity.

Now, I'm talking about a "best friend" who "suddenly" turned around 180 degrees and blocked me like everywhere. In the way she played with my feelings, I think she tried to kidnap me or, she did kidnap me.

My best friend pushed me out of her life like 2 weeks ago. And I still can't figure out if I lost her 2 weeks ago, or if I never had her at all. The amount of frustration and torture I am going through is enough to call me crazy.

I didn't leave her when she said I should leave. I mean, yes at first I did, but that was to cry my heart out in my room, and after that I went back to ask her what was going on. I tried to patch up the situation and made attempts so that we would still be BFF again. But that was one of my mistakes. She didn't tell me the reason for making me leave that day or making Alpha Nolan banish me from his pack, and treated me like I didn't exist in her world. I would ask myself every day if fighting for her that day was a bad idea, because that's when I can remember that it all went south. There was a point when I would beg her, and she behaved like I was a stranger. 

She overshadowed her words by lies. Day by day we were falling apart. She treated herself like a victim. One day, after class, I confronted her in class, and she shouted at me publicly. 

I cried in class and I was furious too. Instead of calming me down, she was telling her new friends what she felt wrong about me.

And now this… Kidnapping.

A few minutes after her conversation with Tiffany... yes, you heard me right. She is the pawn Sarah is using as the bad guy in her story while she stays on the sidelines acting like she is still keeping malice towards me.

I mean yes, that's the perfect plan for when something unfortunate happens to me. Then people get to blame Tiffany and not Sarah. I can just decipher if she's smart or plain stupid.

They dismissed the men that kidnapped me and went about their ways. 

"You do know that, it's official, right?" Aurora asked.

"What?" I inquired. 

She just sighed, and I could feel her shaking her head in a disappointed way, then she continued.

"Stop being in denial about your relationship with her, there is no what if's, it's official, she hates us that much."

"I just thought giving her the benefit of the doubt would make things a little less painful than they already are, right now." I defended.

She just chuckled then said "do you know anything about the 'EYE'?" She asked out of the blue. 

"Yes"

The Eye or Eyes are said to have special powers; they are said to be the gateway to a person's soul. Shifting eyes are said to subtly betray liars, while a steady gaze may be endearing or menacing depending on the circumstances. Eye contact can create an intensely personal connection, whether between lovers or superiors and subordinates. Glaring or intense staring can convey power and authority over another. And, of course, actors use their eyes to convey a wide range of emotions, including love, hate, disgust, boredom, scorn, surprise and envy. In fact, it is this last emotion — jealousy — that underlies the evil eye's cultural association with magic.

Belief in the power of the eyes is so powerful that any eye affliction has come to suggest evil and bad luck. People who are cross-eyed, have uncontrollable eye twitches or spasms (a condition called blepharospasm), or who merely have a prominent squint have been shunned and feared as provoking bad luck, especially among those who work in dangerous occupations such as fishing and mining. Similarly, those with unusually close-set eyes or eyes of different colors were often suspected of having the evil eye.

The evil eye is essentially a specific type of magical curse, and has its roots in magical thinking and superstition. Let's say that a person experiences bad luck, ill health, accident, or some unexplained calamity — perhaps a drought or an infectious disease. Before science could explain weather patterns and germ theory, any bad event for which there was not an obvious cause might be blamed on a curse. Curses, including the evil eye, are an answer to the age-old question of why bad things happen to good people.

"That's not all, it can also be a gift." She said.

I am quite sure if I looked at myself in the mirror, my mouth would be wild open like a fish buccal pumping for air. "How?"

"Because we have it."

"What!"

I don't know if it's happiness I feel or shock, but something is definitely moving through me.

"We can decipher when a person is telling the truth or not, if they are evil or bad"

"But I always thought the eye was an object," I inquired. 

"Yes, it's also an object which can only be in the possession of the Lycan king. That's how he can settle any cases among the pack easily."

"Wow, but how do you know about that?"

"Every wolf knows about it even before its birth. We are not just obliged to tell you till when needed."

"So why are you telling me now?" I asked. 

"Well, you need to know it now," she stated.

"The part where it's referred to as a curse, what about that?"

"Well, because it can see your deepest desires, secrets and feelings, it is now regarded as a curse. But here's a shocking truth, only outside the Lycan king's pack is it known as a curse."

"Wow" I said like a baby being shown new things. I mean, this is really new to me. A burst of new information loaded.

"Do all the wolves have the eye." I continued.

"No, just us and some other special wolf."

"Wow, Why?"

"Because only special wolves have one."

"Wow, how do I use it then?"

"I'll tell you next time we need it, and Crya"

"Yes"

"No woes or any more questions from you, or you'll be looking for me for a while."

"Oh! I am sorry...." I paused for a while before raising my hand as if I was a teenager playing answer with the teacher.

"What is it?"

"One more question before I keep quiet."

"OK, go on."

"Do you get any kind of punishment when you tell your humans about the existence of the eye?"

"Yes, when it's not needed. The bottom line I can tell through 'the eye' that Sarah is a goner, no longer the Sarah we knew once. It's like the old Sarah is dead and the one we saw is the new one."

"Wo....". I closed my mouth in an attempt to stop the wow from coming before apologizing. "I am sorry". She just laughed, shaking her head, at this point she is behaving like an elderly woman instead of being my young wolf.

I know the answer she gave isn't sufficient for me to stop asking more questions, but I just have to take what is handed out to me now and ask more questions later, maybe when she has forgotten.

"You know we are one. I mean I am literally living in your head like your subconscious, waiting to come when given grace. It also means I know of your plan to continue with the questions later."

"Of course I know, just saying."

"Good."

It didn't take long to reach the pack house because of how fast I was. But it was already too late to ask the kitchen for food. So I went to sleep on an empty stomach.

I picked up the 'Woven in Moonlight' series by Isabel Ibañez (2020) ... a book that has taken up most of my nightmares with fantasy. Making me not feel miserable anymore. Reading it can take my mind away from it a lot, but the only downside is it makes me understand that I am lonely, and I need a companion or a mate.

With a smile on my face after reading a few pages, I started to doze off into the wonderland of sleep where I have no power or wolf to save me if needed. But just me and darkness, a very calming darkness that somehow brought peace to me and smiles to my face.