The Werewolf King's Bride

(From Blue's Perspective)

I was happy about meeting my secondborn. I truly was. But he cried a lot. How could a baby cry that much? That could not be normal. But apparently, it was.

And it was exhausting.

I could not sleep a bit for the next fifteen days. Demian would not calm down if I was not the one carrying him. Yes, even at that age, he knew who was carrying him when. He would not go to anyone. Even his father was not able to hold him because Demian literally screamed like someone was beating him.

I needed rest. All night, Demian would not stop. He would make me hold him and then when I thought he fell asleep, he would start crying again, so I would not put him down. He would fall asleep around morning when Dion would get up and demand my attention. Dem tried to take as much of my pressure as possible, but it was simply not possible. He was not the mother.

I was. How could someone take the mother's pressure away? It was not possible.

Today, Dem had to go out to discuss something with the duke. Both of them went out to visit some territories.

The maids were not allowed because we did not know who to trust. Dem could not rely on his mind-reading ability since there was a chance someone was being controlled by black mana. I could detect it usually, but the time when someone came looking like Dem and I could not detect it. Azure must have used some kind of technique to ensure that and I could not rely on my power completely either.

I was tired. Demian was crying again and Dion was also crying for some reason. And I realized what I had failed to realize before.

'I should not have had kids this soon. At least, not a second one.'

I did not care that it was unplanned. I thought it was all my fault and Dem's.

"What do you want me to do? I'm trying, okay? Just give me some peace," I sobbed, not being able to hold back anymore.

Dion was a little taken aback by my crying, but he did not have enough sense yet to not stop crying. He clung to me by wrapping his small arms around my neck. He was trying to get on my lap, and now that he could stand and walk, he did so very often.

I had just bathed Demian since he dirtied his bed and everything. I had forgotten to put a diaper on him. The diapers here were a little different looking but worked just fine.

I had not taken a proper bath in days and my hair was all tangled. I could smell shit from me, but my kids still would not let me go.

I just sat there motionless and let the two cry and do whatever they wanted. I was tired. Was it too much to ask for a little bit of peace?

'I shouldn't have sent back Ruby. But how could I not? They are not her children. She has her own life. I can't just ask for her help all the time. That would be horrible of me.'

The room felt stuffy. Were the windows not open? They were. But there was no wind outside. Not even a leaf was moving.

Maybe there would be a storm. Usually when weathers were very stuffy for a while, it indicated a bad storm.

"Dion, will you stop putting your hand inside my dress? I will not feed you now! And it's not nice to do that!" I snapped at him.

He started crying louder. I regretted it immediately. I took him in my arms and held him close to my chest.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm really sorry. I will feed you a little later, okay?"

After one hour, everything was a little calm. Dion fell asleep in my arms and Demian had stopped crying, although he was making some kind of noise, indicating he might start anytime if I put him down.

Kids were hard, really hard. I would tell other couples to have kids late. Life with kids was too hard and sometimes, although I was ashamed of it, I just wanted to feel children-free life once more.

I was not sure how I would get up from the floor with the two of them in my arms. So, I leaned against the leg of the bed and closed my eyes.

I fell asleep at some point. I maybe slept for a few minutes, when I heard the door opening.

I heard Dem gasped. I chuckled.

"What? Is it that much of a horror?" I asked. I realized I was not pissed. I thought as soon as he would come back, I would vent my anger on him. But I could not. He was working too.

And I just was not mad at him. I was mad at myself for not being more capable.
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Without a word, he put off his clothes one by one. Then, he changed into his usual and much more comfortable fit. He bent in front of me and stared at him. His eyes were pitiful and full of sympathy.

"The kids are driving you mad, aren't they?" he muttered.

"How did you guess?"

Dem took Dion from me. Dion did not wake up, not even when he was placed in his crib. It was Demian, who would never just go to another person. So, Dem did not even try to take him from me.

"This one just clings to you in a feral kind of way. It's scary how he realizes that it's not you who is touching him even while sleeping," Dem commented, looking at our second born.

I just breathed in and out. My head was spinning now.

"You okay?"

"No, I'm not… I need a bath. I stink of foul shit. I need a bath real bath. I need to wash and comb my hair. I need to clean my mouth. I need to just sit down in a peaceful environment and eat something without any kids crying or having them try to snatch my food.

I really would like to have some time for myself," I said and felt the tears threatening once more. "Dem, am I bad mother for wanting that?"

He did not wait as he answered. "No, dear. You are not. You are only wanting what a normal person would want."