Trapped In His Illusions

Mila's head was lying on the hospital bed beside Shal and Shal couldn't get the scene that happened today.

He ran his fingers through her hair," I am sorry Mila" he whispered.

" I'm a useless person. I will hurt her more, she has been going through a lot because of me. She was getting assaulted and I couldn't even budge. What's the use of having fighting skills when I couldn't fight for a little bit. " A lot of thoughts were harassing him.

Then he was reminded of Malay .

" Yeah he died because of me and I couldn't do anything about it" tears followed down from his eyes.

(Flashback)

Shal was walking ahead with fast steps. Malay was following him. They were heading to school together.

" We are not getting late, why are you walking so fast?" Malay asked breathing heavily as he had a shorter height than Shal.

Shal turned around," drink more milk please"

" Hey! You come here. I will give you a good lesson" malay said as he ran to capture him. Shal ran ahead laughing loudly.

They did almost everything together. Malay liked comics a lot. So they went to comic shop together. Shal always gifted him comics that weren't easy to get.

Malay was a gay and Shal knew about it. During lunch break Malay quickly took his bag and ran out. The bag zip was open and everything fell down. Lipstick Bl comics and bra. The whole class was looking. Malay quickly took everything and putted them in his bag. He looked around at classmates watching. Disgust was dripping from their eyes.

He ran toward door to go out. One of his classmates came in his way," Are you a gay?"

Malay tried to go out and he held him from his collar and pushed toward the wall," I am asking if you are a gay?"

" Please let me go" , already drowned by the whole class gaze Malay broke into tears.

" Why? you can just punch me like you always do , or are you interested in me?"

Malay pushed him back and ran out. Shal who just came at the door saw him running away.

" What happened?" Shal asked.

" Your so-called friend is a disgusting gay" the boy earlier said.

Shal held him from his collar, " You seems more disgusting to me , disgusting as dung. Don't you dare to call him disgusting " then he pushed him away and looked at all class, " If anyone tried to harass him over this, I will definitely come for that person " he kicked the chair that fell down to the floor and came out.

Malay skipped all the classes and hid himself in the storage room. He kept crying. Shal was searching for him but couldn't find him. He called him several times but couldn't connect.

School bell rang. Shal was standing at the gate waiting but Malay didn't come out. After half an hour Malay slowly walked to the gate.

" Where were you?" Shal asked him as he approached.

He stayed silent and kept walking. Shal was following him closely.

" Let them judge, it doesn't matters " Shal insisted.

Malay was still silent. They kept walking like this. Malay was walking towards an isolated area that was empty and also their hideout.

Shal couldn't keep up with his silence, held his hand and pulled him to hug him.

" Just cry instead. Don't just bury everything in your chest"

Slowly tears followed down his cheeks . Then he started sobbing. He held onto Shal and cried a lot.

They were sitting at a big stone beside each other.

" Shal!" Malay called his name.

" Hmmmm?"

" Shal!" He called again.

" What?"

" Shal!"

" Don't just keep calling. Tell me what you want to say. You can say everything "

" I just feel like I will not be able to call you again that's why I wanted to call you"

" Don't worry, I will follow you wherever you go "

"Really?"

" Yes "

" Then I wouldn't be alone" Malay said putting his head into Shal's lap.

Shal patted his head.

Soon exams started. It was the second last day of exam. Shal father came to school. He was funding the school.

" How is my son doing", Shal father asked to the principal while walking through the alley.

" He is doing great. It's just his company is not really good." Principal replied.

" By company you mean?"

" He has a friend called Malay. He is kind of stain at the society. I introduced him to other kids from rich families but he ignored them all"

They were standing in front of Shal class. Shal was playing with Malay. Malay was lying in Shal lap leaning on Shal backward while Shal was trying to snatch the paper .

Shal father walked towards them and held onto Malay arm, pulled him away so powerfully that Malay striked to the cabinet nearby. Shal quickly stood up to check on him but his father came in front of him.

" Stop hanging with him" , his father yelled.

Malay ran out of there quickly.

" Malay!" Shal called from behind.

" Stop!" His father yelled again.

The whole class was watching. Shal had no choice but to stay put. Malay once again ran to the storage room, sat there and started crying. He held onto his shoulder that was hurting.

Shal waited for him after school. Malay walked out of storage room and walked to gate. Shal was standing there.

The scene of pushing him played in Malay's head and he ran to avoid Shal. He wanted to cross the road quickly so that Shal can't keep up to him. As he was crossing the road a car hit him so hard that he flew away in the air before falling to the ground.

Shal who was watching this ran toward him. His head was cracked open and blood was gushing out.

Shal held onto him but he was already dead as he died on spot.

It was clearly an accident but to Shal he killed his own friend. He always thought it was his fault. He held his friends funeral regardless of his father's opposition.

Malay parents abounded him. He always wanted to look for his family. Shal looked for his family by all means but he wasn't able to find anyone. When Shal looked for the place Malay was staying at, it was a room lent by a grandma. Malay did her chores and stayed there.

Loss of his friend devastated Shal . Although he always hated his father but now he couldn't even bear to see him. He started to live on his own.

( End of Flashback)

" Only if I would have protected him. I'm just a bad luck, like a virus who hurt others" he thought.

He was admitted in the hospital for three days. Martin dad pulled all strings and he only transferred to another school. Everything had to get normal but Shal fear started to wrap him. Every time he was with Mila he had an unknown fear of hurting her because of him.

He was sitting in front of the mirror.

" What if I hurt her because of me. If dad find out that I am dating a girl from mediocre family he will try to meddle. He will try to break us apart and set me with the daughters of his friends" those thoughts were making him suffer.

He put his hands on his face " Ahhhhh! It's driving me crazy"

" Ding dong"

" Good night, sweet dreams" a message from Mila said.

" Good night, rest well my princess" he replied. He putted his phone back and felt a touch of a hand. He looked behind him. It was Mila.

" It's you again!" he said looking ahead in the mirror.

" You seem so depressed. Let me hear your worries" she said sitting on the table in front of him.

Shal took his pills and closed his eyes. He opened his eyes after a long while. She didn't disappear.

" How come you are still here ?"

" Pills not gonna work, because you are in extreme pain right now. You know that better than me" she said leaning towards him. She stood up and walked to the other side of bed and opened the drawer.

" This box belongs to Malay right " , she said slightly slightly her hand over a box placed in the drawer.

He quickly stood up and walked to her. He pushed her away," don't touch it "

She collided with the wall and walked back to him," Why you didn't defend him. He had only you in the whole world"

" I did" , he yelled.

" You didn't ", she yelled. " You wasn't able to push your dad away and follow him. Only if you would have talked to him! Only if you would have before he tried to run away from you" she said in a painful voice.

Tears came out of his eyes.

" You are still same," she said with a mocking smile " you didn't report the first attack to police because you were scared of your dad. What if worst would have happened to her. What if ...."

" Stop!" He screamed . " Stop it already. I know I'm useless. You don't need to remind me"

He walked to his bed , lay down and closed his eyes. She lay with him and hugged him from back. He didn't move and stayed silent .

" It's okay Shal . I will still stay here with you"