Uma Musume : The Trainer Who Just Wants to Live

Three months. Rudolf didn't know how she had gotten through those three months... She only knew that she had never lived so aimlessly, and she had never felt three months pass so quickly.

Quickly enough for her to watch the life of the person she loved most... come to an end.

Three months ago, the unconscious Kitano had been in emergency care for a full day. When he was wheeled out, Rudolf could hardly believe that one day could age a person by ten years, ravaged to the point that she almost didn't recognize him.

And from that day on, he could no longer walk. She watched him being confined to a wheelchair... yet he wore the same gentle, otherworldly smile she remembered.

But... that familiar smile made her feel as if she couldn't breathe. It was only then that she finally understood why, when she had first met him in her memory, he had been so gentle, smiling as if he had no quarrel with the world.

This was the kindness of a person who had calmly accepted his fate, who had long known he was destined to be taken by illness, who had reached a state of enlightenment. Because he knew what the worst-case scenario was, and he knew he would face it sooner or later. A person who enjoyed every second of his life... would have no quarrel with anyone.

After being confined to a wheelchair, he became even more diligent. He didn't slack off on Teio's training because of his illness. He even gave many of his notes to Rudolf so she could train her in his stead. He even began to recommend student council members to her, saying he had recently noticed a newly debuted horse girl named "Narita Brian," a promising prospect who would surely be a great help to her in the future.

Everything he did... Rudolf saw it all, but most of the time, she would rather not pay attention. She couldn't bear to see him like this... as if he knew his time was short and was trying to arrange all his affairs.

C.B. was neither anxious about his severe illness nor tearful about her beloved man lying on his deathbed. She gave Rudolf the feeling that he wasn't sick at all.

She didn't stay by his side all the time, nor did she put her own affairs on hold because of his illness. Rudolf could still see her going to watch kabuki plays she was interested in, and running wild in the rain—even while her trainer was lying in the hospital!

And what was even more unacceptable to Rudolf was... he knew all of this, and just like in her memory, he showed no dissatisfaction with C.B.'s actions, tolerating all of it, even showing a relieved smile from time to time.

No, no, you don't need to tolerate her like this—you have every right to be angry, why are you putting up with her?

If it were me, if it were me, I would never do what she's doing, Kitano. I would take care of you at all times. Even if you had forgotten me, I could never just watch you fight this illness alone!

I want to tell you, I'm right here. I want you to know, I'm the person from your forgotten past...

But her refusal couldn't stop his life from slipping away day by day... She didn't know that in the coming months, she would witness him being ravaged by his illness to the very end, and she would be forever powerless.

Two months ago, he collapsed again, this time more seriously than the last. A week later, when he was discharged, he had no appetite at all and had lost a lot of weight, making him look even more frail.

And a month ago... his condition worsened further. This time, he could hardly even sit in a wheelchair and could only lie in bed, surviving on IV drips...

"Even if we continue treatment, it will only increase his suffering... With current medical capabilities, it's impossible to save him."

"Perhaps, if he agrees, we can let him go in a more peaceful way. While he's still conscious, we can decide on some things..."

"I don't care!" Even when the attending physician couldn't bear to see him suffer anymore and began to speak to her directly, Rudolf roared as if her deepest nerve had been touched, her voice so loud that the whole building could hear.

"I want him to live! Whatever it takes, however much money—I want him to live!"

Rudolf knew her decision was selfish. She watched him live in such pain, fighting death at every moment. She knew that euthanasia might be the best option for him... but she chose to be willful one last time—until the day finally came.

That day, he was surprisingly energetic... at least better than any other day in the past month. He seemed to have sensed something and called everyone he cared about to the hospital. He wanted to say some last words to them.

And when it was her turn, he could barely speak, but he still held her hand with great difficulty, just like the day before she was to leave for her training, and he kept嘱咐ing her:

"Rudolf... I'm sorry you have to see me like this, but there are some things I still want to tell you."

"I'm leaving soon, but I can't rest easy about Teio... I know you're as close to her as a daughter, so I hope that after I'm gone, you can help her move on from my death, don't let it affect her future path."

"Believe me, she will be a horse girl second to none in the future, as long as she can get through a few transformations... you have to help her through these difficulties, can you?"

"I know, I know." Rudolf's voice trembled uncontrollably as she answered him, tears streaming down her face. Faced with his final request, she gripped his hand tightly and said urgently:

"Teio loves you like a father, like a brother... I'll tell her. I'll always take care of her."

"...Then, there's one more thing." After getting her answer, a relieved smile appeared on his face. He looked at her, tried to open his mouth several times, but under her trembling gaze, he seemed to have a lump in his throat, hesitating for who knows how long.

He seemed to be afraid, hesitant, whether to say something to her. And finally, after a long silence, he condensed all his feelings for her into one simple and sincere sentence, saying softly:

"And you must take care of yourself, Rudolf. I... have always been worried about you too."

...Rudolf didn't know how she got out of the room. She only knew that as her mind went blank and she could only sit in the hospital chair, grieving, C.B. had silently walked into the room to say her final goodbyes.

After who knows how long, with the sound of the door opening, the still-dazed, tearful Rudolf subconsciously looked up to find C.B. had come out, gently closing the door behind her as if afraid to disturb the person inside.

And what shocked her even more was that there was no expression on C.B.'s face... as if she had forgotten how to cry, forgotten how to be sad. Rudolf only saw her close her eyes, take a deep breath, and then... the usual, seemingly carefree smile returned to her lips.

After doing all this, C.B. finally turned her gaze to her, her tone so deliberately light as she said, word by word:

"...Rudolf, Trainer-san said he wants to go home. Could you do me a favor and take him home with me?"

"...What happened to him?"

Though she knew the answer, at this moment, the blank-minded Rudolf couldn't read the meaning on C.B.'s expressionless face. She just stood up blankly, walked up to her, and questioned her on pure instinct.

"Don't make me say such a cruel thing out loud, Rudolf. Please."

Though she said this, C.B.'s expression remained unchanged. She watched as Rudolf's gaze went from vacant to furious. After a moment of silence, she continued calmly:

"Trainer-san doesn't want us to be sad. He said he wants us to start a new life. So, I plan to keep the promise I made to him. After he's gone, I will continue to walk on my own."

"So, Rudolf, you should accept it too. Trainer-san, he's already..."

However, in the next moment, C.B.'s words were cut short. Her collar was violently grabbed by the enraged Rudolf. In an instant, C.B. saw in her furious eyes a madness born of despair!

"You...!!!"

The crazed Rudolf's words were practically a roar. She stared at C.B. as if she wanted to devour her.

She couldn't believe this woman wouldn't shed a single tear for him! She couldn't believe that the person who had taken what was rightfully hers was someone like this!

A person like you, what right do you have to monopolize his love?! Give it back, give back the love that should have been mine!!

Rudolf's eyes screamed these words, but she no longer cared about C.B. She pushed her aside and stormed into the room alone.

"Kitano—"

Rudolf called his name one last time. She rushed into the room, her gaze locking onto him on the bed, but it was already too late.

Kitano Ryuichi now lay peacefully on the bed, his eyes closed.

His hands were neatly placed on his abdomen, his expression free of any pain or struggle, as if he had fulfilled all his wishes, finished everything he needed to do. He... had no regrets.

But he didn't know that his peaceful passing had left behind a girl full of regret, full of sorrow.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

With a heart-wrenching scream, Rudolf felt as if all the strength had been drained from her body. She collapsed helplessly, large tears streaming down her face. She kept hitting her chest, as if a large piece of her heart had been brutally torn out.

And whether it was the force of her scream that shook the room, or some deliberate arrangement of fate, his hands, which had been resting peacefully on his abdomen, slowly fell to his side.

And at that moment, a small, shiny object slowly fell from his palm. With a roll, the small trinket he had been carefully holding landed right in front of her.

It was a cheap, plastic heart-shaped pendant.

Perhaps because too much time had passed, the necklace was long gone, but this small pendant had been preserved. Even though there were obvious scratches and fading, from its condition, it was clear its owner had cherished this small gift, even holding it carefully in his hands at the moment of his death.

This is... Rudolf tremblingly picked up the pendant with both hands. And when she finally recognized it, a corner of her memory, which she had recalled countless times, finally allowed her to identify this token of their promise.

After more than ten years, she had never thought she would see it again in this way... even she herself had only remembered the promise of meeting again but had forgotten this small token in a corner of her memory.

But someone had remembered. He had always remembered this promise, had always been looking forward to returning this token to her in person, as they had agreed.

He had always remembered... but why did I only understand all this at this moment...

"What have I done... what... have I done..."

"Why didn't I tell him... he didn't forget me, he... had never forgotten me..."

She had so many words, so much love and longing, that she wanted to tell him.

But there was no chance anymore, never again... He had taken her love, her memories, all her beautiful things, and buried them with him in the grave.

Twice she had lost her love. From now on, in this world, there was no one left for her to love...

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