Uma Musume : The Trainer Who Just Wants to Live

"Don't... don't leave me... it's all my fault... it's my fault..."

"President? President? Please wake up."

Rudolf, trapped in her dream, was unaware of her own state, but it gave Air Groove, who had come to the student council office as usual in the morning, a huge scare. The door was locked from the inside. If not for the double-door design, she wouldn't have been able to get in even with her key.

The moment she entered, she saw Rudolf slumped over her desk, the floor littered with scattered documents. Air Groove was so scared she thought the President had had a mental breakdown and died from overwork.

But fortunately, as she approached, she heard Rudolf's constant murmuring in her sleep... repeatedly calling a name, her tone almost pleading, while tears streamed down her face.

Air Groove had never seen her like this before. She immediately shook the dreaming President awake.

"Don't leave Luna!"

However, the shaking seemed to trigger a stress reaction. Rudolf's eyes shot open, and she reflexively reached out, as if to grab the sleeve of the person who had been in front of her just a moment before in the dream.

But alas, waking from a dream, she had failed to grasp the person she wanted even in her sleep. Now, abruptly returned to reality, she could only grasp at empty air.

"...President? What's wrong?" Air Groove looked at the dazed Rudolf with a strange expression.

Who is Luna? She really wanted to know, but she also had a feeling the question was dangerous, so she immediately chose to ignore it.

"I... where am I?"

However, the newly awakened Rudolf still hadn't come to her senses. Her gaze swept blankly around the room, then focused on her own hands, but she no longer found the heart-shaped trinket that had been in her palm just a second ago.

"It's gone, why is it gone?"

"Huh?"

"A-Air Groove, my thing is gone!"

Before Air Groove could react, Rudolf, whose eyes were still welling with tears, became agitated again. She anxiously scanned the floor, as if searching for a family heirloom, constantly muttering to herself:

"He left that for me, that was the last thing he left for me, where did it go, where did it go..."

"President! Calm down!"

Rudolf's abnormal behavior finally scared Air Groove. She strode forward and, with all her might, pressed down on Rudolf's shoulders. Feeling her strong resistance, she gritted her teeth and squeezed out the words:

"President, this is the student council office! You just had a nightmare! Now, wake up!"

So strong! Air Groove gritted her teeth, the veins on her hands popping. Fortunately, she slowly felt Rudolf in her arms calming down... When she felt she had calmed down, she carefully let go, and Rudolf slumped back into her chair as if completely burnt out.

It was all... a dream? Rudolf panted slightly, but the contents of her dream echoed clearly in her mind. The events had not faded like they usually do but were seared into her brain, becoming a part of her own life experience.

Was it all fake? But why did it feel so real? Kitano Ryuichi, it was as if he had lived a whole life within hers. And his illness, all the choices he made, why did none of it feel like a dream?

Wait, his illness?

At this thought, she vividly recalled the scene of his death, her gaze once again falling on the notebook on her desk, on the clearly written line—"Kitano Ryuichi's physical health is highly likely to be truly related to the performance of his charge"!

This conclusion had been solidified yesterday after she saw him visibly regain his vitality after Nakayama Festa's victory. But now, recalling everything in her mind, she suddenly seemed to have sorted out all the doubts!

She understood... why in her dream, he was entangled with Mr. C.B. The other horse girls had said he was already on the verge of death during the Satsuki Sho. If C.B. hadn't won that race, he would never have lived to meet her!

But at that time, she... had mistakenly thought he had forgotten their promise, not knowing it was out of necessity. How could someone who had forgotten a promise keep the token of that promise? Even holding it carefully at the moment of his death.

Kitano... cared about that promise even more than she did. Neither of them had forgotten the other, it was just... she was the only one who didn't understand.

And even when she had come to hate him, he had still tried to pull her back. He wasn't just pulling her back; he was trying to save himself.

But she had refused. She hadn't even let him finish speaking... How sad, how desperate must he have been at that moment.

And in the end, even Mr. C.B., the only one who could have saved him, had lost her chance to race forever in a competition against her. All of it... was because of her.

She had personally pushed the boy who cared about her most... into the abyss of despair.

And she had even felt a sense of schadenfreude over it? At this moment, recalling everything in her dream, Rudolf suddenly felt a surge of nausea.

"What's wrong, President?" Air Groove asked cautiously, having been quietly observing her rich display of expressions.

"...Air Groove... I think... I've done something I can never take back."

After a long silence, Rudolf slowly lowered her hands, a self-deprecating smile on her face, her eyes filled with tears as if in despair. "I wronged a boy... I still haven't apologized to him. And now, even if I see him again, I don't know if it's too late to say sorry."

"I also did many excessive, wrong things to him. Only now do I know what regret feels like. But can he still forgive me?"

Rudolf's mind was in a mess. She didn't know if her dream was real or not. But now, he had appeared before her, just as in her dream. This made her wonder if this was all a cycle. The only thing she was sure of was that the Kitano here was the person from her memory!

But what troubled her was that even if she was sure, he... seemed to have shown no sign of recognizing her.

Perhaps this time, he had truly forgotten her. But for this outcome, she actually felt a sense of relief—because if he really remembered those memories, she wouldn't know how to face him.

It wasn't about pride... it was that she felt her emotions might spiral out of control. And what she might do then, she wasn't sure.

And his current physical condition was no better than in the last three months of her memory. If she lost control and hurt him again, she felt she would die of guilt.

Now, he had been chosen by Stay Gold, becoming the Gold Family's exclusive trainer. Did she, the one who had personally pushed him into the abyss, still have the need... no, the face, to seek his attention again?

"...I don't know, President." Faced with her question, Air Groove was surprised to see her show such a helpless expression. But sensing her sincere regret, she tried to offer her advice:

"But I think it's better to have done something than to have done nothing. If you think that boy won't forgive you, please at least do something to convey your regret to him. Doing so will at least make you feel better."

"And I don't think things are that bad. If that boy is still willing to talk to you, maybe in his heart, you're not that detestable to him."

"...Not that bad?"

However, Air Groove's words touched a nerve in the unprecedentedly dejected Rudolf. The next moment, Air Groove saw her gloomy face slowly clear up...

What happened? Air Groove was baffled but instinctively took a step back. She felt something was off... she seemed a little crazy, her emotions fluctuating so dramatically.

But what had Rudolf figured out? It was just that Air Groove's casual words had illuminated a blind spot in her mind.

That's right, if he really hated me, why would he say he was "worried about her" at the end of his life? Why would he still keep their promise?

Perhaps, in his heart... she still held a very important place? They were both the most beautiful memories in each other's lives?

And even if he had forgotten everything this time—didn't that mean she had a chance to let him get to know her again? She could still personally make up for her regrets; she could still make him a beautiful part of her life.

At this thought, her completely silent heart began to pound again. A rare hint of joy appeared on her face. She saw a glimmer of hope! A hope to change all the tragedy!

She would absolutely not let him escape again. The abyss she had once pushed him into, she would personally save him from it!

Because they were the most important people who would never be separated!

"Thank you, Air Groove. I think I know what to do now!" Rudolf couldn't hide her joyous mood. She felt her mind become sharp again, all the pressure and gloom swept away. Her familiar confident and majestic smile returned.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?"

"Just some routine work. But considering you didn't seem to finish yesterday's work, I think you might be busy for a while."

Though confused, Air Groove was relieved to see her smile again. As she re-stacked the documents on her desk, she seemed to remember something and said casually:

"By the way, C.B.-senpai's parents came to the academy today. They seem to be asking about Trainer Kitano."

Snap.

The moment she said this, the pen Rudolf had just picked up slipped from her fingers, its ink staining a document. But she had no time to worry about that. At the mention of "C.B.," her expression once again shifted from joy to icy cold.

"—Air Groove, where did C.B.'s parents go?"

"Huh? Probably towards the cafeteria? I guess Trainer Kitano is there now."

The moment she answered, Rudolf shot up from her seat. Before Air Groove could react, she was already heading out the door, not forgetting to instruct her:

"Please take care of today's work for me. I have something to attend to. I might not be back all day."

"I'll approve your garden expansion proposal when I get back. Please."

With that, she rushed out of the student council office, leaving a lone, bewildered Air Groove amidst the messy documents...

That's right, how could I forget you, Mr. C.B.? Running down the hallway, Rudolf recalled C.B.'s actions in her memory, her teeth gritting with anger.

This time, I will absolutely not give you another chance, you heartless bastard—I will absolutely not let you get close to my Kitano again. You are nothing but a "substitute" who took my place!

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