Villain: My Inner Thoughts Are Eavesdropped by the Female Protagonist

[Motherf—, get away from me!]

[Can't you see that crooked-mouthed idiot Xiao Zhan already wants to kill me?!]

Seeing Han Yuyao acting completely out of character, Huang Yu felt like he was about to go insane.

Sure, he had given up on resisting fate, but that didn't mean he wanted to get his legs broken for no damn reason!

Couldn't anyone just follow the original plot properly?!

Why the hell was everyone acting so weird?!

Did they all want him dead?!

—

Xiao Zhan gritted his teeth, his murderous glare locked onto Huang Yu, as if he were about to devour him whole.

This useless rich second-gen…

How dare he get so close to his woman?!

It seemed the Huang family of Tianhai needed to be put in their place.

Just as Xiao Zhan was plotting how to make Huang Yu kneel and beg for mercy—

SMACK!

A gust of wind suddenly whipped past.

White Hair, still handcuffed, had sprung up out of nowhere and slapped the back of Xiao Zhan's head.

Then—

He started slapping him repeatedly.

"Fuck you! Can't you see my Young Master is trying to flirt here?!"

"Turn your goddamn head toward the window! Or I swear, when I get out, I'll break your legs!"

—

A Dragon King's rage can bury millions.

But at this moment—

Xiao Zhan's head was getting slapped so hard that it echoed inside the van.

Even though the officers dragged White Hair back, the damage was done—

Xiao Zhan's dignity had been shattered.

His face turned even darker, his crooked mouth twitching in fury.

"You're playing with fire."

Tension filled the air—it felt like a fight could break out any second.

Yet—

Huang Yu didn't react at all.

Instead, he simply sat still, staring blankly ahead.

If this had happened before, he definitely would've stopped White Hair from digging his own grave.

But now?

He had more important things to focus on.

Because just now—

A mechanical voice suddenly echoed in his mind:

"Congratulations, Host! You have successfully avoided the fate of getting your legs broken by Dragon King Xiao Zhan!"

"System loading… complete!"

"Now generating personalized missions!"

—

Hearing those words, Huang Yu nearly burst into tears.

His cheat system finally arrived!

Did anyone know how hard he had fought just to stay alive until now?!

—

[Option 1: The Ultimate Villain Route]

Become the true mastermind behind the novel.Steal the luck and fate of every protagonist.Turn yourself into the greatest chosen one in the world!

[Option 2: The Useless Slacker Route]

Do absolutely nothing.As long as you don't get face-slapped by the protagonists,You will continuously earn rewards for surviving.Become the most insignificant background character!

—

The temptation of being the ultimate villain… was almost irresistible.

If this world only had one protagonist—Xiao Zhan—then Huang Yu would've chosen Option 1 in a heartbeat.

He would've grabbed that crooked-mouthed idiot, slammed him into the dirt, and mopped the floor with his face.

But reality was far worse.

The world didn't just have Xiao Zhan.

It also had:

- The War God Asura.

- The Miracle Doctor.

- The Bodyguard King.

 - The Mercenary Madman.

 - The Emperor Returning from the Cultivation Realm.

Each protagonist was more overpowered than the last.

And those were just the modern world's protagonists!

There were also immortal emperors and divine beings who had returned from fantasy cultivation realms.

Some of them could probably punch through a nuclear warhead with one hand.

Against monsters like that—

How the hell was he supposed to play the villain?!

Even Xiao Zhan, the "legendary Dragon King," was just a nobody compared to them.

And Huang Yu?

He was barely even a stepping stone.

Choosing Option 1 was straight-up suicide.

So—

Without hesitation, he chose Option 2.

"Host has successfully made a choice!"

"Congratulations! You have received your first reward: The Diarrhea Card!"

—

Diarrhea Card:Upon use, the target will experience an uncontrollable urge to defecate, forcing everything out within ten seconds.

—

As soon as the information appeared in his mind, Huang Yu's eyes lit up.

Holy shit!

This was way better than laxatives!

He glanced at Xiao Zhan, who was still sitting there smirking coldly, plotting his demise.

A fire burned in Huang Yu's chest.

He hadn't even done anything, yet this crooked-mouthed idiot had already tried to kill him multiple times today.

Just because he was trying to live peacefully didn't mean he had no temper.

Even villains have their dignity.

Revenge should never be delayed.

[If I don't make this crooked-mouthed Dragon King shit his soul out today, then I'm not a proper villain!]

Without hesitation—

He activated the Diarrhea Card on Xiao Zhan.

—

"Diarrhea? What the hell is that?"

Han Yuyao, having heard Huang Yu's inner thoughts, felt confused.

She turned to look at Xiao Zhan.

Was Huang Yu planning something?

The moment that thought crossed her mind—

"PFFT—"

—

On the other side, Xiao Zhan had just started getting up to beat Huang Yu's ass.

But the moment he moved—

A wave of goosebumps erupted all over his body.

His sphincter clenched.

But—he couldn't stop it.

A wet fart slipped out.

—

Bad.

A sudden, violent stomach cramp shot through his gut.

Xiao Zhan immediately sat back down, trembling.

"Ugh—!"

The officer sitting next to him nearly vomited on the spot.

"HOLY SHIT! That reeks! Did he just crap his pants?!"

—

Instantly, the entire van filled with a horrendous stench.

Everyone inside clamped their hands over their noses.

Huang Yu, having anticipated this, had already covered his face.

Han Yuyao's eyes widened in horror before she buried her face into Huang Yu's chest, desperately trying to escape the smell.

It stinks…

I can't…

Meanwhile, Xiao Zhan was sweating profusely, clenching his abs as tightly as possible.

But—

His defenses had already crumbled.

His pants slowly became soaked, and a few drops of yellow liquid dripped onto the floor.

—

"HOLY SHIT! HE SHAT HIMSELF!"

White Hair was the first to notice, immediately shouting in shock.

Everyone's eyes snapped toward Xiao Zhan.

Then, they all turned to stare at White Hair.

White Hair blinked innocently.

"…Dude, I barely even touched him. Did I slap the shit out of him?"

—

At that moment, Han Yuyao was furious.

This was a brand-new police vehicle.

And now?

This was its first damn mission, and someone had already defiled it!

Disgusting!

Filthy!

Even though she wasn't sure how Huang Yu had done it,

She knew—based on what she had heard—he was definitely responsible.

Without hesitation, she grabbed his ear and twisted it.

"Ow—!"

Huang Yu gritted his teeth in pain.

"You bastard! What the hell did you do?!"

"Try any more funny business, and I'll break your damn legs myself!"