I will become the ice jellyfish queen with the Chat Group

[Grey Pov]

I blinked. Then blinked again.

Yeah. This was happening.

Batman—the Batman—was currently being… well… compromised by a giant eldritch horror with way too many mouths and tentacles.

And somehow, I was now helping the Bat-Family deal with this insanity.

[Nightwing]: Miss, how do we save Batman from this—fast? Damian's a minor, and I don't want to see this either.

Damian, standing beside him, had his arms crossed and an expression of sheer disgust.

[Damian]: Tt. Father is supposed to be the peak of human perfection. This is… disgraceful.

[Red Hood]: Well, I've seen a lot of weird shit, but this? This is top-tier nightmare fuel.

[Red Robin]: Guys, less talking, more saving.

[Grey]: …Okay, first things first, we need to figure out if that thing is actually trying to eat him, assimilate him, or—

[Oracle]: Nope. We are NOT finishing that sentence.

[Plan: Save Batman from Tentacle Doom]

I scanned the cave, thinking fast.

The monster was huge, its countless mouths drooling black ichor as it wrapped its tentacles around Batman. The guy was fighting, but damn, even Batman can't fistfight a cosmic horror.

[Grey]: Alright. We need fire, magic, or some kind of anti-eldritch tech. What do we have?

[Red Hood]: I got guns.

[Grey]: …Do they shoot bullets made of the screams of the damned?

[Red Hood]: …No?

[Grey]: Then they're useless.

Suddenly, the monster turned one of its many grotesque heads towards me.

[Eldritch Horror]: OH? A NEW TOY? SHALL WE PLAY—

I did not let it finish.

I grabbed the closest holy relic—a random golden cross that was just lying around—dipped it in Damian's grape juice, and threw it straight at the monster's face.

[Monster]: AAAAAAARRRGH—

It recoiled, screeching as its flesh sizzled.

[Grey]: …Holy shit. That worked?

[Damian]: You just exorcised a cosmic horror with my drink.

[Nightwing]: Let's not question it. Keep going!

Batman finally managed to break free, landing on the ground with a thud.

His suit was covered in eldritch slime.

[Batman]: …I hate magic.

[Grey]: Yeah, well, magic hates you too, buddy.

[Red Robin]: Can we get out of here before something even worse shows up?

Before anyone could answer, the entire room started shaking.

The eldritch monster let out an unholy shriek before being ripped apart from the inside.

And then—

From its corpse—

A bigger monster crawled out.

[Grey]: …Oh, come on.

I quickly pulled out a glowing golden artifact from my coat. I had no idea what it did, but it was glowing ominously, and that was usually a good sign.

I threw it.

The artifact shattered mid-air, and suddenly—

A second eldritch horror appeared.

[Red Robin]: ...Why would you do that?!

[Grey]: Listen, you gotta fight fire with fire—

The two horrors locked eyes—or, mouths? Tentacles? Whatever counted as their faces.

And then—

They started fighting each other.

The Bat Family looked at me, then at the two monsters and Aquaman locked in battle.

I quickly opened the chat group and sent an SOS, hoping for a backup before things got worse.

[Red Robin]: Why are we just standing here?

[Grey]: Because if we interfere, they'll turn on us. We need to wait for help before they realize they're the same—just from different timelines.

Before anyone could respond, a bright portal suddenly opened.

Out stepped a little girl with boundless energy.

[Klee]: Tada! Klee is here to help Big Sis Jellyfish!

...We're dead. The monsters are dead. Everyone is dead.

[Grey]: ...Oh no.

[Nightwing]: Oh no? What do you mean 'oh no'?

[Grey]: I mean, we're about to witness something so explosive that even the eldritch horrors might not survive.

Klee, the tiny walking natural disaster, stood proudly in front of us, grinning from ear to ear. She adjusted her hat, her bright red eyes practically glowing with excitement.

[Klee]: Big sis Jellyfish! Where's the bad guy? Klee brought lots of bombs!

Oh.

Oh no.

Before I could even process what was about to happen, Klee happily reached into her backpack and pulled out a glowing, unstable, very concerning-looking bomb.

[Grey]: Klee, wait—

Too late.

She launched the bomb directly at the eldritch horrors and Aquaman.

The Bat-family collectively flinched.

The explosion was instantaneous.

A massive mushroom cloud of fire and chaos erupted in front of us, shaking the entire Batcave.

The eldritch horrors screeched, their tentacles flailing wildly as they were engulfed in fire.

Aquaman?

Gone.

Just gone.

Maybe teleported? Maybe swimming in another dimension? Who knew? Oh, here he is half cooked but alive.

[Damian]: What in the name of Ra's al Ghul—

[Red Hood]: I think I'm in love.

[Grey]: I need a drink.

Meanwhile, Klee cheered, clapping her hands together excitedly.

[Klee]: Yay! Big boom! Did Klee do good?!

Batman, still wiping eldritch goo off his cape, slowly turned to me with the most tired expression I had ever seen.

[Bruce]: Explain.

Before I could say anything, Klee reached into her bag.

And pulled out—

A GIANT, GLOWING, PRIMED BOMB.

The Bat-Family collectively tensed.

The eldritch horrors actually paused their fight to stare.

Even Aquaman stopped mid-punch, his expression frozen in pure horror.

[Nightwing]: Please tell me you can stop her.

[Grey]: ...I wish I could.

[Klee]: Klee's Special Firework, go!

She threw it.

The world turned white.

[Somewhere Else]

A king in a distant realm stopped mid-sentence, staring at the horizon.

A warrior paused, sensing a disturbance in the force.

Somewhere, in a completely different universe, a scientist looked at their calculations and frowned.

"That can't be right," they muttered. "Why is there an explosion the size of a city—"

[Back in Gotham]

I groaned, slowly lifting my head from the pile of rubble I had landed in.

Smoke filled the air.

Half the Batcave was gone.

The eldritch horrors? Obliterated.

Aquaman? Missing.

Batman? Standing in the middle of the destruction, silently regretting his entire existence.

The Bat-Family? Scattered around, groaning in pain.

And Klee?

Standing in the middle of it all, completely unharmed, clapping her hands together.

[Klee]: Yay! Big boom!

I buried my face in my hands.

[Grey]: ...I should've just stayed with the eldritch horrors.

[Red Hood]: cough Alright. I officially love this kid.

[Red Robin]: This... This isn't scientifically possible.

[Nightwing]: Forget science, Tim. We need to worry about survival first.

Batman stood dead silent. He turned his head slowly, taking in the sheer devastation surrounding him. His cape was half-burnt, his cowl was slightly cracked, and the Batmobile was now... melting.

Then, ever so calmly, he turned to look at me.

[Bruce]: Grey.

I flinched. Oh, this was bad. This was so bad.

[Grey]: ...Yes?

[Bruce]: Explain.

I opened my mouth.

Then closed it.

Then opened it again.

Then closed it.

Then—

[Klee]: Did Klee do good?!

She beamed up at all of us, bouncing excitedly.

There was a long, painful silence.

[Grey]: Klee... sweetie...

She tilted her head.

[Grey]: ...Maybe... next time... we use a smaller boom?

Klee gasped.

[Klee]: But big booms are more fun!

I was so going to die here.

Batman pinched the bridge of his nose, inhaled deeply, and then turned around.

[Bruce]: I need a vacation.

And then—

A new portal opened.

A figure wearing a butler uniform stepped out. Their glowing red eyes locked onto Klee immediately.

[???:]: Master Klee. You have caused destruction once again."

[Klee]: Uh-oh...

I looked between the newcomer and Klee.

[Grey]: ...Who the hell is this?

[Klee]: Dodomo Please don't tell big sister Jean about this

I raised an eyebrow, watching the butler—Dodomo, apparently—step forward with an imposing air of authority. He was perfectly polished, his uniform immaculate despite the chaos surrounding us. His glowing red eyes were laser-focused on Klee, and his voice was calm, but carried the weight of someone who'd dealt with much worse than this.

[Dodomo]: Master Klee, I must insist you cease these reckless displays of power. You know the consequences if you continue this path.

[Klee]: But Dodomo! I didn't mean to—It was just a small boom... Really! Promise!

I glanced at Batman, who was still silent, taking all this in with his usual stoic expression. The rest of the Bat-family was more or less trying to piece themselves together amidst the wreckage.

[Grey]: Wait a minute... Dodomo, you're the Dragon Butler, right? The one who swore allegiance to her after the Rebellion?

Dodomo's eyes flickered in my direction for a moment, seemingly sizing me up, before he nodded.

[Dodomo]: Indeed. Master Klee's strength is... formidable, though her control over it leaves much to be desired, This, however, is a new level of recklessness.

[Grey]: Well, it's not like she meant to turn the Batcave into a crater. I didn't think she would pull out a nuclear bomb.

[Klee]: But it was a firework, not a bomb!

I really need a drink.

[Chapter end]