They Mistook my Meow as a Dao

It was supposed to be a gift.

An ancient, beautifully carved puzzle box sent from the Lunar Academy of Arcane Curiosities, engraved with moonlight runes and tied with a ribbon that whispered.

They meant well.

"To the Esteemed Husband of Lady Ruan Fei, Fluff of the Cosmos, and Napper Supreme — may this humble relic amuse you for five minutes."

Inside: a glowing orb the size of a teacup, humming with suppressed power.

Xi-Xi, of course, opened it.

Whiskers was watching from atop a cabinet, lazily licking his paw.

He blinked at the orb and it blinked back.

He batted it, then it suddenly activated.

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A puff of violet smoke with a divine meow.

Together with a blinding light and when it cleared…

Whiskers was gone.

In his place: A kitten.

A tiny, round and about the size of a dumpling.

Fluff like clouds spun from moon dust.

Tail slightly too big.

Ears too floppy.

He looked up at Ruan Fei and wobbled forward.

Tripped over his own face and meeped.

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Ruan Fei stared and Xi-Xi screamed.

The raccoon brothers cried openly.

The disciples tried to line up to worship the newly reduced god-form, but tripped over each other in their eagerness to offer tiny pillows, heated milk, and tearful loyalty oaths.

One student fainted when Kitten Whiskers tried to chase a falling leaf and rolled down the stairs in slow, squeaky indignation.

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Whiskers tried to leap onto his old moss throne.

Missed then he hit a teacup which started a small fire.

The raccoons declared it a holy flame of rebirth and built a new shrine shaped like a cradle.

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Every time Kitten Whiskers meeped, the sacred tree chimed back with lullaby notes.

Entire gardens began sprouting glowing toys.

A boulder grew fuzz.

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Despite being a kitten, he was still Whiskers.

When he sneezed, clouds formed.

When he batted a moth, a pocket realm imploded.

When he tried to nap in the library, ancient texts rewrote themselves to include:

"...and thus spoke the Fluffy Prophet in his tiniest form."

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Word spread fast.

"The Divine Cat has been reborn!"

"He has entered his next cycle—adorable and terrible!"

"A kitten now rules the nap-realm!"

A coalition of spirit beasts, previously intimidated by Whiskers' full-sized majesty, rose up in adorable revolt:

• The squirrel monks declared independence and created "The Republic of Snuggles."

• Baby dragons from the western ridge formed the "United Cozy Front."

• Even the frogs began organizing under the slogan:

  > "Croak for Change (and Cuddles)!"

They demanded:

• More nap time

• Fishcake subsidies

• Plush toys in every corner

And they marched.

Thousands of tiny beasts.

All wearing hand-stitched banners with tiny paws on them. Meanwhile, Kitten Whiskers had no idea a revolution had started.

He:

• Fell asleep in Ruan Fei's boot

• Got stuck in a teacup

• Spent an hour chasing a butterfly that didn't exist

• Got very upset that his purr now sounded like a squeaky whistle

Ruan Fei carried him in the front fold of her robes like a divine purse, whispering sweet nothings and muttering death threats to anyone who dared call him "baby."

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The United Cozy Front arrived at the gates.

They chanted and they demanded. They raised paw-sized banners and plush spears.

Ruan Fei came out, holding Whiskers (now chewing on her sleeve like a plushy terror).

She blinked.

The entire rebellion bowed in silence.

Xi-Xi tried to negotiate.

Whiskers sneezed.

A nearby mountain turned into pillow-shaped boulders.

The rebellion declared victory then promptly disbanded to play in the nap fields they had "liberated."

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The orb was found napping inside a flower vase.

The Dao Tree murmured "Only when he catches the sunbeam that moves with no shadow shall the form fade."

Xi-Xi scribbled that down as a riddle.

Ruan Fei just sighed.

That evening, as the last sunlight slanted through the corridor, Whiskers chased a sunbeam with full kitten enthusiasm.

He finally leapt…

…and caught it.

A flash of gold and a ripple of fur.

And the real Whiskers—the adult, overpowered, elegant version—was back.

He sat down, licked his paw, and promptly fell asleep.

On the revolution's founding charter.

Extra: What Remains

• The Republic of Snuggles remains a peaceful autonomous region in the western gardens.

• The baby dragons now host weekly nap-and-toast salons.

• Whiskers gets one kitten-shaped plush mailed to him weekly (he bites each with vague resentment).

• The orb? Xi-Xi sealed it in five layers of forbidden wards and labeled it:

 > "DO NOT TOUCH. FOR REAL THIS TIME. EVEN IF HE MEOWS AT IT."

Quotes from the Revolution

✎ "He was tiny. He was furious. He was fate."

✎ "When he tumbled down the steps, I heard the Dao roll with him."

✎ "The bite marks on my toe? Sacred."